Father passes away and leaves $ to grandkids...sibs are not following wishes....

[Anonymous]

Your sibs are total douchebags. Dishonest. Immoral. Unethical. Disrespectful of your father. Beyond knowing that, not much for you to do at this time IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What they did is felony theft. It's criminal.

OP, if the estate is still open, I would talk to the probate judge about it. He can order the parents to place the money due the children into secure accounts.

If the money is gone, I would pull your nieces and nephews aside when they reach their 17th or 18th birthday, advise them that their parents stole their inheritance, and advise them to see an attorney. The parents can pay for college or pay the kids back. The statute of limitations for suing the parents for the return of the money will start running when the kids turn 18, though. They will only have a short time after their 18th birthday to decide what to do.

+1000 on all of the above, but wanted to highlight the criminal aspect.

Your brothers are HORRIBLE people. This, to me, is unforgivable. Truly, the type of action that would make me turn my back on them forever.

You both are nuts.

Op stated the will left the money to the grandkids. If the grandkids are minor children, the money goes to their parent/legal guardian unless the will had specified some other method - held in trust, etc .

Presumably the child whose parents purchased the house will live in the house and perhaps a nicer house than they would have if they had not received the inheritance and reap the benefit of possibly their parents have more disposable income to spend on the child since they have reduced their housing costs. The child whose family started a business will be provided for by the income that business generates.

OP being upset by how her siblings choose to spend this inheritance is as silly as her brother being upset how this dad choose to donate his own money.

Not sure about criminal but certainly a breach of trust/ fiduciary duty by the brothers. Agree re looking into recourse with the executor or probate court, or both, but be ready for a shitstorm if you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What they did is felony theft. It's criminal.

OP, if the estate is still open, I would talk to the probate judge about it. He can order the parents to place the money due the children into secure accounts.

If the money is gone, I would pull your nieces and nephews aside when they reach their 17th or 18th birthday, advise them that their parents stole their inheritance, and advise them to see an attorney. The parents can pay for college or pay the kids back. The statute of limitations for suing the parents for the return of the money will start running when the kids turn 18, though. They will only have a short time after their 18th birthday to decide what to do.

+1000 on all of the above, but wanted to highlight the criminal aspect.

Your brothers are HORRIBLE people. This, to me, is unforgivable. Truly, the type of action that would make me turn my back on them forever.

All of the above. There was one thing in my Dad's will that I was really unhappy with. I still had to comply.

[Anonymous]

you father was arrogant. he wanted to control things from his grave, thought he figured it all out. he kind of deserved it. your sibs likely are better judges of what benefits their children.

[Anonymous]

My grandpa died when I was 7 and left me money. I've never seen it and have no idea how much but I've heard it in passing. I doubt it was 100k+ it definitely tens of thousands. I hold no ill will against my parents and would never mention it.

If your grandfather truly wanted to leave all the money to his grand kids he should have put it in a trust.

[Anonymous]

That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

Someone will complain. Doesn't matter how its set up.

[Anonymous]

I am surprised at two aspects of this. First being that the attorney who drafted your father's will did not advise him to place the money into an educational trust for each grandchild. Second, I think it is unfair (and likely damaging to the sibling relationship) when a parent divides inheritence among grandchildren rather than children. IMO the estate after the charity bequest (which is awesome that your dad did) should be split among you and your 3 siblings so that you each have an equal share. I agree with the brother who has 1 child. What if one of your siblings had no children - I guess your father would have not left anything to that child.

[Anonymous]

It's not like your brothers spent money left to their kids; it was money left to pay for their kids' college educations. In other words, it was to help THEM take care of their financial responsibility to pay for their children's education. See the difference?

I didn't realize though that this would be illegal. My mother stole money left to me by my dad. I was an adult. I never did anything about it. How would I pursue this?

[Anonymous]

"It's not like your brothers spent money left to their kids; it was money left to pay for their kids' college educations. In other words, it was to help THEM take care of their financial responsibility to pay for their children's education. See the difference? "

No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"It's not like your brothers spent money left to their kids; it was money left to pay for their kids' college educations. In other words, it was to help THEM take care of their financial responsibility to pay for their children's education. See the difference? "

No.

No, you don't see the difference? If I have to pay for my kids' college education and someone takes that burden from me then it is a gift to me. I no longer have to spend my own money to pay for their education. So that was the way the father chose to leave the money to his kids. That is not the same as leaving it to his grandkids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

Someone will complain. Doesn't matter how its set up.

I agree. I think it is better to divide among first generation equally. But if person is insistent on leaving to grand kids as well this way is better. People shouldn't get more money just because they have more kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

Someone will complain. Doesn't matter how its set up.

I agree. I think it is better to divide among first generation equally. But if person is insistent on leaving to grand kids as well this way is better. People shouldn't get more money just because they have more kids.

you're missing the point. the money was the father's to give. if he wants to divide it up among his grandkids that's his complete choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

Someone will complain. Doesn't matter how its set up.

I agree. I think it is better to divide among first generation equally. But if person is insistent on leaving to grand kids as well this way is better. People shouldn't get more money just because they have more kids.

In the example, the person with more kids gets LESS money - $300,000. Assuming there is a trust and the person has no access to the money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That is awful.

It should have been divided up among the siblings with portions of their inheritance parceled out to the grand kids in trust with each grandchild getting an equal amount.

Example:

Two kids
One has one kid
One has two
Estate is a million dollars

First kid gets 400,000 and his kid gets 100,000
Second kid gets 300,000 and each of his kids gets 100,000

Someone will complain. Doesn't matter how its set up.

I agree. I think it is better to divide among first generation equally. But if person is insistent on leaving to grand kids as well this way is better. People shouldn't get more money just because they have more kids.

In the example, the person with more kids gets LESS money - $300,000. Assuming there is a trust and the person has no access to the money.

Yes but his family overall gets the same