When your upper elementary age kid is sneaking snacks and hiding uneaten food what worked?

[Anonymous]

So I grew up being a picky eater...here are my thoughts. I think she is sneaking the food because she is hungry. I used to do that. Now that I am older I wish my parents had been a little more strict at mealtimes. Have you considered looking into a food therapist and not a family therapist instead?
Switch to cloth napkins and inspect them after meals. Make her finish the food that is in her mouth before he leaves the table. This way she can't put food in her mouth and then spit it into the toilet after meals. Watch closely that she is not moving food around on her plate. Always make sure there is at least one food she likes at meals. Require her to take a bite of everything on her plate. Don't give her seconds of the thing she likes until she has a bite of the other food.
Stop buying stuff like goldfish and M&M's. The squishy fruit I assume you are talking about fruit snacks? We don't consider that food/fruit in my house....we consider that candy. Stop buying those.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So I grew up being a picky eater...here are my thoughts. I think she is sneaking the food because she is hungry. I used to do that. Now that I am older I wish my parents had been a little more strict at mealtimes. Have you considered looking into a food therapist and not a family therapist instead?
Switch to cloth napkins and inspect them after meals. Make her finish the food that is in her mouth before he leaves the table. This way she can't put food in her mouth and then spit it into the toilet after meals. Watch closely that she is not moving food around on her plate. Always make sure there is at least one food she likes at meals. Require her to take a bite of everything on her plate. Don't give her seconds of the thing she likes until she has a bite of the other food.
Stop buying stuff like goldfish and M&M's. The squishy fruit I assume you are talking about fruit snacks? We don't consider that food/fruit in my house....we consider that candy. Stop buying those.

OP here. Thank you for this perspective. DD has taken a cooking class to learn how to make different treats etc. She enjoyed the cooking but didnt want to try half of what she made. We do make food she likes but my guess is that she gets bored with that food and stops wanting to eat it. It is tough because we have a younger child that doesn't have these issues and if we eliminate processes food snacks, everyone is living with it. Also, when we address the wrappers etc there is the whole dynamic of one child getting negative attention and the other child not getting any, the child getting in trouble getting ticked off at other sibling "never getting in trouble" and at times ratting her out (they share a room). I don't like pleading and getting upset when she doesn't eat all her food at dinner because I feel that in effect gives her control over the dinner table and conversation. I think there was a previous poster that mentioned if the child won't eat they either sit in their room or they stay at the table until everyone that is eating is done and then they are done.

I do think we have to treat it like she has a sugar addiction and not allow it in the house or severely limit it. Then I think we can tackle the picky eating maybe with the help of a food therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So I grew up being a picky eater...here are my thoughts. I think she is sneaking the food because she is hungry. I used to do that. Now that I am older I wish my parents had been a little more strict at mealtimes. Have you considered looking into a food therapist and not a family therapist instead?
Switch to cloth napkins and inspect them after meals. Make her finish the food that is in her mouth before he leaves the table. This way she can't put food in her mouth and then spit it into the toilet after meals. Watch closely that she is not moving food around on her plate. Always make sure there is at least one food she likes at meals. Require her to take a bite of everything on her plate. Don't give her seconds of the thing she likes until she has a bite of the other food.
Stop buying stuff like goldfish and M&M's. The squishy fruit I assume you are talking about fruit snacks? We don't consider that food/fruit in my house....we consider that candy. Stop buying those.

OP here. Thank you for this perspective. DD has taken a cooking class to learn how to make different treats etc. She enjoyed the cooking but didnt want to try half of what she made. We do make food she likes but my guess is that she gets bored with that food and stops wanting to eat it. It is tough because we have a younger child that doesn't have these issues and if we eliminate processes food snacks, everyone is living with it. Also, when we address the wrappers etc there is the whole dynamic of one child getting negative attention and the other child not getting any, the child getting in trouble getting ticked off at other sibling "never getting in trouble" and at times ratting her out (they share a room). I don't like pleading and getting upset when she doesn't eat all her food at dinner because I feel that in effect gives her control over the dinner table and conversation. I think there was a previous poster that mentioned if the child won't eat they either sit in their room or they stay at the table until everyone that is eating is done and then they are done.

I do think we have to treat it like she has a sugar addiction and not allow it in the house or severely limit it. Then I think we can tackle the picky eating maybe with the help of a food therapist.

That's fine, thouh. THere is really no reason or necessity for anyone to eat processed, sugary stuff like that. My older DS is a bit of ajunk food junky/hoarder. Not quite to the level of your DD, and not a picky eater, but I used to find wrappers in his room, food in drawers, etc. I stopped biying them completely. Needless to say, I didn't suddenly start finding bananas in his room.

Snacks are carrots/hummus, unsweetend applesauce containters, meatsticks from WF, Tzone granola bars, cheese, stc. SOme of that stuff is still pretty processed, but not quite at the leve of fruit gummies. No chips, crackers, brownies, chocolate, etc. Sometimes you really do just have to eliminate certain foods.

and do consult a food therapist, and dno't punish your daughter.

Also, the dinner table shouldn't be a battle zone. IMO, your daughter should sit there, be served the same as everyone, and eat or not. But not be served anything after. And no conversation about whether she's eating or not. Or how much she ate. Or whether she tried it, etc. Too much focus on it.

[Anonymous]

Just take all the candy and unhealthy snacks, and don't have them available anywhere. Replace with healthy (or somewhat moderately healthy) food. And so that it isn't like a huge withdrawal, give her junk food sometimes, like cupcakes for dessert once in awhile, candy as a snack on the weekend sometimes, etc.

Some somewhat healthy snacks that we have: squeezable yogurt, drinkable yogurt, cheese (string, and the little red cow), salted or flavored nuts, applesauce, fruit, fruit bars, granola bars, etc.

Honestly, if I had m&ms and goldfish at home, my kids and I would be sneaking and craving it, too!

[Anonymous]

I think the school is part of the problem if they are policing the kids' food intake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello, CIO advocates. Food issues and hoarding are the price you pay for all that sleep.

At the risk of feeding the troll I will ask, how do you figure?

Children who cry in hunger and are left alone rather than being fed have a lot of food issues later on, including hoarding food.

I refused to do CIO because I find it barbaric. My kid is a preteen mini-hoarder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hello, CIO advocates. Food issues and hoarding are the price you pay for all that sleep.

At the risk of feeding the troll I will ask, how do you figure?

Children who cry in hunger and are left alone rather than being fed have a lot of food issues later on, including hoarding food.

I refused to do CIO because I find it barbaric. My kid is a preteen mini-hoarder.

I did CIO with both of my kids. They cried for a few nights and then they were excellent sleepers - because they were ready to sleep through the night and it was good for them to learn how to self soothe so that they could sleep through the night.

They do snack when they get home from school because they are both fairly tall, active, growing boys. They don't hoard food or eat in secrecy, though.

[Anonymous]

get it all out of the house. once a week or two when you are out with her, let her pick out a candy bar or a pack of goldfish.

you need to let her have these things in moderation, but it can be hard to say no and not sneak when it is available in the house to sneak. you can't make it an all or nothing thing though where you take them away. she will get older and find her own access. then she will have no control over it and any binge will get bigger.

you need to teach her to learn to enjoy these things as "treats" and get rid of the secretive. if you have ever frowned on these foods, that's not a good thing. sweets and crappy food is okay but only if it is sometimes, rarely. lastly, instead of candy and crappy food, try making a special dessert, still a sweet/treat, but not so bad with food coloring and bad additives.

[Anonymous]

OP, we dealt with a similar issue without success until we got to the point that my daughter was obese and had high triglycerides. At that point her pediatrician referred her to the IDEAL clinic at Children's Hospital which has been amazing. If your daughter is not obese with other risk factors, she may not quality for IDEAL, but there are nutritionists at Children's who can still help.

We made a lot of changes in our eating habits as a family (yes it needs to be addressed by the whole family), but the biggest ones were keeping most processed foods out of the house, and allowing one treat a day. We encourage DD to be open about what she eats, but we don't punish her, just remind her of limits. For example, I found a mini Snickers wrapper in her backpack last week and just said, "Oh, did you already have your treat today? Ok, well we'll skip dessert today then." If someone brings cupcakes for a birthday party, she tells me. Sometimes I see that she didn't eat her veggies or fruit at lunch, and we'll just make sure she has plenty for dinner. Bottom line - you have some control over what foods are available to her but she will need to develop good eating habits on her own, or else she will just binge on junk food whenever she gets the chance.

As far as snacks go, our favorites are apples or mandarins with a cheese stick; apples and peanut butter (can use sun butter); carrots, sliced cucumbers and cherry tomatoes with hummus; homemade trail mix; plain yogurt with a bit of dried fruit or nuts and sometimes a few mini chocolate chips; fat-free cottage cheese with fruit; edamame with a little lemon juice and salt; and when I'm in a hurry a high-fiber granola bar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bottom line - you have some control over what foods are available to her but she will need to develop good eating habits on her own, or else she will just binge on junk food whenever she gets the chance.

OP here. I've had a talk with DH trying to get him on board. I think our struggle right now is finding that balance where there is some element of choice/learning self-control but not so much that she can rely on processed snacks instead of eating. I've also said no more buying the econo Costco size Goldfish. Even if it is more expensive, it is better to have packaged portion size at this stage if we want to have a limited amount available as a treat.

[Anonymous]

I think there is too much emphasis on what your daughter eats. The fact that she feels that she has to hide the unopened yoghurt in the bathroom trash shows that there will be some sort of chastising if she doesn't eat it. I agree with the recommendations for a therapist. And get rid of the food you don't want her to eat.

[Anonymous]

I think she needs to feel more in control and less scrutinized. I wonder if you gave her more access to treats instead of less then she wouldn't feel the need to hide it and would feel more relaxed about eating in general. Try it for awhile and then slowly get the junk food out and the healthy food in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think she needs to feel more in control and less scrutinized. I wonder if you gave her more access to treats instead of less then she wouldn't feel the need to hide it and would feel more relaxed about eating in general. Try it for awhile and then slowly get the junk food out and the healthy food in.

ITA. Maybe do something to break her snacking cycle - get her involved in an interesting activity of some sort. Go to the library to study...

Just get away from all of this emphasis on food, snacking, what she should/should not be eating. Get her doing instead.

[Anonymous]

My DS has/had food issues. He has apraxia/low tone so the physical act of eating was difficult and he had aversions to textures. Then, he had a choking incident that left him fearful to eat. Food issues, whatever the cause, are challenging. We worked with a therapist to help us through this. The number one rule is never to let food become a battle of wills. You need to keep emotions out of your discussions about food and at the dinner table. You need to have the majority of your meals together. There's always at least one preferred food on the table and you can have seconds of anything - if there's enough for everyone to have some on their plate and to have seconds. If it's dessert, there's only enough for one serving per person. Everyone gets a bit of everything on their plates (including dessert) even if they don't eat it. Everyone is encouraged to take a bite. If you take a bite and don't like it, you can spit it out discretely.

We involve the kids in meal planning, grocery shopping and meal preparation. We also have meal replacement drinks. It took me along time to get to the point that nutrition doesn't have to be chewed. It's made a big difference in our lives. Some days, we're on the go and don't have time for a sit down meal or needs a quick snack to stave off hunger. Those meal replacement drinks are ideal. Every meal/snack does NOT have to be a learning opportunity.

[Anonymous]

So I grew up being a picky eater...here are my thoughts. I think she is sneaking the food because she is hungry. I used to do that. Now that I am older I wish my parents had been a little more strict at mealtimes. Have you considered looking into a food therapist and not a family therapist instead?
Switch to cloth napkins and inspect them after meals. Make her finish the food that is in her mouth before he leaves the table. This way she can't put food in her mouth and then spit it into the toilet after meals. Watch closely that she is not moving food around on her plate. Always make sure there is at least one food she likes at meals. Require her to take a bite of everything on her plate. Don't give her seconds of the thing she likes until she has a bite of the other food.
Stop buying stuff like goldfish and M&M's. The squishy fruit I assume you are talking about fruit snacks? We don't consider that food/fruit in my house....we consider that candy. Stop buying those.


OP here. Thank you for this perspective. DD has taken a cooking class to learn how to make different treats etc. She enjoyed the cooking but didnt want to try half of what she made. We do make food she likes but my guess is that she gets bored with that food and stops wanting to eat it. It is tough because we have a younger child that doesn't have these issues and if we eliminate processes food snacks, everyone is living with it. Also, when we address the wrappers etc there is the whole dynamic of one child getting negative attention and the other child not getting any, the child getting in trouble getting ticked off at other sibling "never getting in trouble" and at times ratting her out (they share a room). I don't like pleading and getting upset when she doesn't eat all her food at dinner because I feel that in effect gives her control over the dinner table and conversation. I think there was a previous poster that mentioned if the child won't eat they either sit in their room or they stay at the table until everyone that is eating is done and then they are done.

I do think we have to treat it like she has a sugar addiction and not allow it in the house or severely limit it. Then I think we can tackle the picky eating maybe with the help of a food therapist.

Try thinking of the bolded in a new way. Rather than thinking of eliminating processed snacks as some kind of punishment for everyone else, think of it as a good decision to help everyone in the family. If one person in a family has a problem, the family needs to pull together to help that person. You're all on the same team. If someone in the family can't deal with not having a giant tub of goldfish around, then they're being petty and can buy and consume their goldfish elsewhere.