You know you did it in college... would you let your child be absent to complete an assignment?

[Anonymous]

My SIL is an engineering student and says parents aren't able to pressure the foreign born profs in the engineering school like they might be able to in the other majors.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the premise that the kids need to take more responsibility for their actions (or inactions). I am diligent about getting the kids to school on time (or early) and teaching them that they are responsible for their school work etc.

I also really resented the kids who bagged days of exams and tests in high school. I dragged my ass there and get things in on time and found out later that teachers were often not discounting the late papers or make-up exams.

When I got to college, I found, as others have, that professors were much less inclined (if at all) to tolerate any excuses, barring death etc.

[Anonymous]

You know what else strikes me? You're teaching them to lie, so don't be shocked when starting telling YOU lies. You'll only have yourself to blame, after all - you taught them to do it. It'll be hard for them to hear from you that lying to you isn't okay, when you've already showed them it's perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

My name is anonymous, and I am very strict about my kids getting to school on time , every day. However, there have been times I let my 14 year old daughter go to school one hour late after being up until 2 am finishing a project. I would never let her stay home to complete an assignment.

[Anonymous]

I did it in college. It caused me stress then; I'm ashamed of it now. I hope that I'll be able to instill better planning skills and greater moral fortitude in my kids than I had when I was young. But since I've already failed to achieve several noble-sounding parenting goals, I'm not going to judge OP.

[Anonymous]

But since I've already failed to achieve several noble-sounding parenting goals, I'm not going to judge OP.

I agree with this philosophy on many issues, but come on. I think there are times when judging is appropriate, and condemnation of lying and cheating is one of them.

[Anonymous]

PP here again - I should also note that the OP's question actually asked us to make a judgement call.

[Anonymous]

I didn't mean that people who were judging OP were doing a bad thing. I just meant that knowing my own frailty, if I did so, I might very well have to eat my words in several years. I haven't entered the pressure-cooker years of middle and high school with my kids yet, and God only knows how I'll react once I do.

[Anonymous]

I still think it was an opportunity for the OP to toot her own horn.

[Anonymous]

TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT TOOT !!!!!! 8)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did it in college. It caused me stress then; I'm ashamed of it now. I hope that I'll be able to instill better planning skills and greater moral fortitude in my kids than I had when I was young. But since I've already failed to achieve several noble-sounding parenting goals, I'm not going to judge OP.

Wow! This topic is right on time. I did it in college, too and vividly remember how hellish it felt before, during, and afterwards. Last night, my dd (a private school junior) begged me to lie for her so that she could miss first period to finish a paper. She was assigned the paper two weeks ago. During her begging session, she tried to manipulate me by saying, I get that you're not going to help me." A part of me feels horrible that I didn't "help" her, but probably would feel a 100 xs worse if I enabled her this one time and then two months later she needs me to lie again.

[Anonymous]

When people say they "did it in college" how did that work exactly? Did you just not show up to class, and then beg the professor to accept the paper later? Really, I never had this option and it was made very clear in my classes that if you didn't turn it in on time, you were screwed. Some professors said if you had a reason you couldn't get something in on time, come talk to them ahead of time, but it was made clear that it would be a rare occurrence, and would be for something like a death in the family, or a serious illness, etc.

I did occasionally skip a class where I didn't have assignments due, in order to get work completed for another class, but there was no lying involved in that. The work was turned in on time, and I knew it was my own fault for messing up and missing a class. But at least I was thinking for myself about what I was willing to do, and not lying about it or asking someone else to lie for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people say they "did it in college" how did that work exactly?

Must be in the type of "colleges" reserved specially for the "special" kids.

[Anonymous]

When people say they "did it in college" how did that work exactly? Did you just not show up to class, and then beg the professor to accept the paper later? Really, I never had this option and it was made very clear in my classes that if you didn't turn it in on time, you were screwed. Some professors said if you had a reason you couldn't get something in on time, come talk to them ahead of time, but it was made clear that it would be a rare occurrence, and would be for something like a death in the family, or a serious illness, etc.

I was wondering the same thing. I never did it in college, but I am pretty sure that you would have had to claim a newly dead relative or really serious illness to get away with turning something in late with no adverse consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people say they "did it in college" how did that work exactly? Did you just not show up to class, and then beg the professor to accept the paper later? Really, I never had this option and it was made very clear in my classes that if you didn't turn it in on time, you were screwed. Some professors said if you had a reason you couldn't get something in on time, come talk to them ahead of time, but it was made clear that it would be a rare occurrence, and would be for something like a death in the family, or a serious illness, etc.

I did occasionally skip a class where I didn't have assignments due, in order to get work completed for another class, but there was no lying involved in that. The work was turned in on time, and I knew it was my own fault for messing up and missing a class. But at least I was thinking for myself about what I was willing to do, and not lying about it or asking someone else to lie for me.

When I lied to get more time in college on a research paper, I told my professor that my step father (I didn't have a step father) was quite ill, possibly close to death and I had to go home for a few days to be with my family. My professor told me how sorry he was and without asking granted me more time on my paper. I felt like such slime, never forgot that lie. I received an A on that paper.