Is this arrangement with step kids screwed up?
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Anonymous
| First wife continues to fuck husband. What kinda bitch marries an many but doesn't want his kids? |
Anonymous
| The situation you describe is called birdnesting. |
Anonymous
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Here's an article about birdnesting from Psychology Today:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/co-parenting-after-divorce/201307/birds-nest-co-parenting-arrangements |
Anonymous
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I think this would be good if old wife just went somewhere else for the wknd
Everyone I know who grew up as a divorced kid of a stepmom hated moving houses, didnt really like going to the stepmoms house etc. seems like this would be less traumatic for the kids. |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]Without going into details, consider and assess this situation. Married man long planning to divorce meets new woman, which finally triggers the divorce. Old wife agrees to divorce. Man has two young kids (under 12), who are still unaware of the impending divorce. New woman doesn't feel ready, and doesn't want, to be a step mother. Man and new woman reach the following agreement (unclear if old wife agrees with it): kids will not spend time in the new woman's home. Instead, once divorce takes place, every couple of weeks, man will go back to his former family home and spend the weekend with old wife (by then, the ex wife) and the two kids. That way, he will grant the new woman (by then, new wife) her wish of not having to deal with step kids (and perhaps ex wife is happier about not sharing custody, or perhaps she will not be happy about the arrangement).
Is it just me, or is this arrangement completely screwed up? Looks like a sure way to emotionally damage the kids...[/quote] Kids will suffer less from not having to pack up all their shit and shuffle back and forth like nomads. Parents should put themselves out, not the kids. He should not be marrying a woman who is not willing to be a stepmother. WTF? |
Anonymous
OP here. Not the same. In the situation I am describing, old wife cinitues to live in the family home with the kids. Man lives in new woman's place, and every 15 days he comes back to old wife's house and spends the weekend there, in a separate room. Old wife sticks around. New woman never sets foot in that home -- and never sees the kids. In the meantime, during 12 out of 14 days, old wife is basically a single mother, and man is completely absent. In the situation I am describing, man thought it was toooo compkicated to be taking care of the kids without the old wife (and without the new woman's participation) because he works long hours. |
Anonymous
| OP again. And the second reason is that new woman's place (where he is going to move into) is too small -- and was recently renovated, so new woman is unwilling to move. |
Anonymous
| OP are you the Old wife? |
Anonymous
No. |
Anonymous
| Does the new wife want kids of her own with this guy? |
Anonymous
| Yes |
Anonymous
| Weird and selfish of dad/stepmom. VERY! |
Anonymous
| Omg that is going to be a disaster if they have kids. How awful. OP, if you know the DH in this situation, I hope you express your concern about him marrying a woman not willing to step parent at all. |
Anonymous
Even if arrangement was suggested by and agreed upon man and old wife? |
Anonymous
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Op here with a clarification. The new woman didn't originally suggested it -- it was agreed upon by the man and old wife. However, new woman is happy about it, as it fits with her desire not to have to be a "second mother". She also thinks it's good that "he can take care of his kids every couple of weeks, so that I have time for myself and keep my independence about managing my time".
Regarding having kids, yes, they want it. Actually, they are talking about getting pregnant even before divorce is finalized. |