How did you learn of spouses affair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her husband called me and asked where my husband was. I said he was at a school board meeting. He said nope, he's at the Marriott. And he was.

This really makes me sick. So sorry, PP. Are you still together? Did you truly sense nothing?

No, no clue. And before everyone jumps in that that I'd just been too naiive or didn't want to believe it... I really had no clue. It'd been going on for like a year, usually during office hours- he was home every night/weekend, doing the usual stuff with the kids, going on family vacations, etc. She was a co-worker of his, acquaintance of mine. We're not still together and neither are they- but I'm now happily remarried to her ex-husband. And yes, before you ask, it sounds crazy. But I'm so glad it happened!

Wow!! So that call was from her husband was massive!

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I didn't mention it in the first post b/c I feel like it's definitely identifying info but I do want people to know that you can move on and be happy. I thought I was happy with my ex and we had a good life together but I realized it was built mainly as a business partnership and my new relationship is everything - emotional, physical and mental compatability. And FWIW, this wasn't a "crying on each other's shoulder" thing. We ran into each other about a year after I divorced and it just happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I didn't mention it in the first post b/c I feel like it's definitely identifying info but I do want people to know that you can move on and be happy. I thought I was happy with my ex and we had a good life together but I realized it was built mainly as a business partnership and my new relationship is everything - emotional, physical and mental compatability. And FWIW, this wasn't a "crying on each other's shoulder" thing. We ran into each other about a year after I divorced and it just happened.

That's amazing! Good for you, PP!

[Anonymous]

Wow, mine is a long story with a happy ending (we stayed together and are better for it but took years do go down this road). Husband did the whole, "I don't think I'm in love with you anymore" speech one night. Wasn't happy, said we needed to do marriage counseling, but didn't have a lot of hope we could work things out. Had been unhappy for a while he said etc. He was as at the time a few months into an affair with a former coworker (also a married mom).

I at first like a PP naively suspected an emotional affair. At that point, when he came to me, the affair was still going on but it was becoming less magical and the fog was starting to lift. It took a few more months to untangle completely and I kept digging and digging and never found actual proof (by that point they weren't meeting or talking very much). Finally I couldn't take it anymore and got to the point where I didn't care what was going on, I wasn't interested in staying married to a man I couldn't trust. He got an apartment, long story short, not long after that wake up call of living apart from me and the kids he confessed everything (though unfortunately took a few weeks to get the whole truth), and did everything in his power to show me changes: individual and marriage counseling, bringing our families into it and confessing what he had done and how he didn't want to be that person again, working on some longstanding issues with his father, took a job that was much more flexible (honestly that was part of a career path and he probably would have done that anyway, though it meant he was even more removed from the former affair partner), gave up his home office (which was such a symbol of him prioritizing other things over family, his need for privacy, etc.).

It was the worst time in my life in some ways but we both grew up so much and ultimately in a weird way the farther we get from it, the more I can see the meaning it had in my life. I won't say I'm over it or ever really will be, but the farther away we get, and the more our marriage continues to evolve, I think about it less and less and it affects me less when I do think about it.

[Anonymous]

I was sitting on the couch one night while she was asleep trying to figure out why she'd been acting so strange lately. "If it were anybody else, I'd think she was cheating." Two minutes later I checked her email just to prove to myself that I was being stupid. I found pictures, emails, and plans to meet up for sex on her upcoming "girls weekend."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was sitting on the couch one night while she was asleep trying to figure out why she'd been acting so strange lately. "If it were anybody else, I'd think she was cheating." Two minutes later I checked her email just to prove to myself that I was being stupid. I found pictures, emails, and plans to meet up for sex on her upcoming "girls weekend."

Are you divorced now?

[Anonymous]

I received the health insurance statement and the bill from the women's clinic for her abortion. She had been impregnated by the other man.

[Anonymous]

I called the reoccurring number I did not recognized on the cell phone bill. The other woman picked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I received the health insurance statement and the bill from the women's clinic for her abortion. She had been impregnated by the other man.

Yowch. If I wasn't happily married to the OW's ex now, I'd ask you out for a drink!

[Anonymous]

Honey, trust your gut. It is rarely in the wrong.

If you suspect something is not right, then it probably isn't.

I understand you might not want to know, but honestly, when is a good time to find out? Arbor Day??!

I say sooner rather than later.

Life is too short to be betrayed.
And to live w/a liar and cheater.

[Anonymous]

I'm really curious to know what happened to HAPPY ENDING massage husband (after golf).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cell phone bills...total accident. Had to print out our joint bill for a work reimbursement and accidentally printed the entire bill (including called numbers). Noticed a lot of weird numbers on his line. Googled a few of them ... hookers from backpage and craigslist. Start with googling first and then use reverse search if you need to.

Another handy tool is to install a text message backup app on their phone. It will email you all of their text messages. (make sure you set it up to capture and save messages automatically so it won't matter if they deleted the messages).

Did you divorce? Can you recommend a good text mssg backup app?