How did you learn of spouses affair?

[Anonymous]

She would come home and then immediately go take a shower and throw clothes in wash. Kept happening so I got suspicious. One I Smelled the clothes and there was strong cologne scent and her "special occasion" underwear had what looked and seemed to be semen on it. Made mistake of confronting her then and she denied. Called it feminine issues and said the cologne smell was friend's husband who they were hanging out with. Her lying friend covered for her and she was smart and started to lay low. 2 months later coworker of hers saw me and asked if we were separated because he had seen her with this guy. Did some snooping and tracked tracked. Just a random guy she had met and was attracted to I guess. She showed very little remorse as if it was my fault for finding out.

[Anonymous]

Not me, but a close friend learned because the other woman called her on the phone and claimed to be pregnant by my friend's DH. Turns out it wasn't her husband's kid. Surprisingly they are still married but their marriage is still a total mess from this.

[Anonymous]

The first time we kept having a weird phone # show up on the caller id. At first I just blew it off. Then I heard DH answer the phone and say soem odd things, that I can't even remember now. But it prompted me to dig through the phone bill and his computer and discover it was some girl he had met online and they were talking all the time.

The 2nd time (because I'm stupid) he started showing weird behavior again, staying up super late, weird phone calls again, so I watched the cell phone bill, snooped on his pc, got some advice from survivinginfedelity.com and bought a voice activated recorder. Busted his ass good and there has been no 3rd time. Obviously we had more issues going on that we are fixing and these were online/phone only "affairs", nothing physical so it was easier to work on getting over it. Not sure I could forgive a physical affair though.

[Anonymous]

Was having some issues with cramping, bleeding etc. Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with an STD. He had the nerve to blame it on me having an affair. A while later it came about that he has a kid less than a year older than ours.

[Anonymous]

Cell phone records. Specifically, got a letter from Verizon: DH, thank you for switching to online billing for your cell phone!

Why would he not want his paper cell bills coming home anymore? So I logged on..... oh, that's why.

Do not confront until you have absolute proof. He would look me in the eye and lie, and lie, and lie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was having some issues with cramping, bleeding etc. Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with an STD. He had the nerve to blame it on me having an affair. A while later it came about that he has a kid less than a year older than ours.

That's horrible. So did you divorce him?

[Anonymous]

My ex deleted the internet history one day. Very, very odd. I went through the temporary internet files and found out about craigslist women and in the subsequent emails and phone convos/pictures. No solid evidence that anything physical happened although I'm sure it did, I'd be stupid to think otherwise. I stayed with him but it didn't end up working out in the end. Thank God.

[Anonymous]

I suspected and asked, but he denied, and I had no proof.

Six months later, the Other Woman showed up at my workplace to let me know he hadn't been honest with me about their relationship (her phrasing).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Cell phone records. Specifically, got a letter from Verizon: DH, thank you for switching to online billing for your cell phone!

Why would he not want his paper cell bills coming home anymore? So I logged on..... oh, that's why.

Do not confront until you have absolute proof. He would look me in the eye and lie, and lie, and lie.

Yep. 99% will lie to the end.

[Anonymous]

Wow...this thread brings back terrible memories.

Had no clue until DH sat me down to tell me he'd had a ONS. He only told because he caught an STD that I, unwittingly, also had contracted.

I honestly didn't care *much* about what I thought was a one-time error, but several months later, my gut starting telling me something was wrong. Check his cell phone and noticed a number on there. One night I decided to call it and discovered it was a coworker. Further digging revealed he talked to her ALL hours of the night into the morning.

MANY things happened in the interim, but he actually confessed to the physical affair (like a dumbass I just thought it was an inappropriate emotional affair). Turned out the so-called ONS was actually with the female coworker and the affair lasted almost a year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was having some issues with cramping, bleeding etc. Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with an STD. He had the nerve to blame it on me having an affair. A while later it came about that he has a kid less than a year older than ours.

That's horrible. So did you divorce him?

Yup. I left that night (the night I heard from the doctor) and never went back. It was probably three years later that DNA testing proved that DS has a half sibling almost exactly 9 months younger. The mom wasn't sure who the dad was for those three years. She was sleeping with two different guys, both already in relationships. I have never once regretted my decision to leave immediately without so much as waiting for an explanation or anything else.

[Anonymous]

Mine asked me for a divorce out of no where. The month before he was on a business trip and took his secretary. I thought nothing of it, since he said that her husband was meeting her there. I offered to go (it was Atlantic City) and he said no...fine, I like my free time too. The very next month it was divorce city. WTH? Denied any other woman-well, he was having an affair with his secretary. Saw them walking hand in hand the other day it made me want to vomit.
He is the owner of a Heating and Air Conditioning company in Damascus. No ethics or scruples -two marriages destroyed and kids involved on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Was having some issues with cramping, bleeding etc. Went to the doctor and was diagnosed with an STD. He had the nerve to blame it on me having an affair. A while later it came about that he has a kid less than a year older than ours.

That's horrible. So did you divorce him?

Yup. I left that night (the night I heard from the doctor) and never went back. It was probably three years later that DNA testing proved that DS has a half sibling almost exactly 9 months younger. The mom wasn't sure who the dad was for those three years. She was sleeping with two different guys, both already in relationships. I have never once regretted my decision to leave immediately without so much as waiting for an explanation or anything else.

So your DH went out and boned another woman withing days of your son's birth? That is monumentally assholish. Wow.

[Anonymous]

Cell phone bills...total accident. Had to print out our joint bill for a work reimbursement and accidentally printed the entire bill (including called numbers). Noticed a lot of weird numbers on his line. Googled a few of them ... hookers from backpage and craigslist. Start with googling first and then use reverse search if you need to.

Another handy tool is to install a text message backup app on their phone. It will email you all of their text messages. (make sure you set it up to capture and save messages automatically so it won't matter if they deleted the messages).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her husband called me and asked where my husband was. I said he was at a school board meeting. He said nope, he's at the Marriott. And he was.

This really makes me sick. So sorry, PP. Are you still together? Did you truly sense nothing?

No, no clue. And before everyone jumps in that that I'd just been too naiive or didn't want to believe it... I really had no clue. It'd been going on for like a year, usually during office hours- he was home every night/weekend, doing the usual stuff with the kids, going on family vacations, etc. She was a co-worker of his, acquaintance of mine. We're not still together and neither are they- but I'm now happily remarried to her ex-husband. And yes, before you ask, it sounds crazy. But I'm so glad it happened!