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[quote=Anonymous]Wow, mine is a long story with a happy ending (we stayed together and are better for it but took years do go down this road). Husband did the whole, "I don't think I'm in love with you anymore" speech one night. Wasn't happy, said we needed to do marriage counseling, but didn't have a lot of hope we could work things out. Had been unhappy for a while he said etc. He was as at the time a few months into an affair with a former coworker (also a married mom).

I at first like a PP naively suspected an emotional affair. At that point, when he came to me, the affair was still going on but it was becoming less magical and the fog was starting to lift. It took a few more months to untangle completely and I kept digging and digging and never found actual proof (by that point they weren't meeting or talking very much). Finally I couldn't take it anymore and got to the point where I didn't care what was going on, I wasn't interested in staying married to a man I couldn't trust. He got an apartment, long story short, not long after that wake up call of living apart from me and the kids he confessed everything (though unfortunately took a few weeks to get the whole truth), and did everything in his power to show me changes: individual and marriage counseling, bringing our families into it and confessing what he had done and how he didn't want to be that person again, working on some longstanding issues with his father, took a job that was much more flexible (honestly that was part of a career path and he probably would have done that anyway, though it meant he was even more removed from the former affair partner), gave up his home office (which was such a symbol of him prioritizing other things over family, his need for privacy, etc.).

It was the worst time in my life in some ways but we both grew up so much and ultimately in a weird way the farther we get from it, the more I can see the meaning it had in my life. I won't say I'm over it or ever really will be, but the farther away we get, and the more our marriage continues to evolve, I think about it less and less and it affects me less when I do think about it.[/quote]

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