HR Bitch, help -

[Anonymous]

I work in an office building and some crazy woman once tracked me down to my office to complain about my soup spilling over in the microwave!!! It wasn't mine and I was shocked that she was so POed that she tracked me down (there are hundreds of offices). People get weird about microwaves for some reason.

If I were you OP I would have called your boss out on this petty bs. It has nothing to do with your real work and both are hearsay, not even complaints that originated with your boss.

[Anonymous]

How to make yourself look junior? Carry around a water bottle everywhere. I would assume that the managers aren't putting a big water bottle on the table when they have important meetings. Use a cup or go without. You probably are being mistaken for a bike delivery person.

[Anonymous]

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face. [/quote]

I'm human. Sometimes I will just have to go to the bathroom. On the water, I can stop drinking water at meetings, but that seems like a pretty petty complaint. [/quote]

While I agree that the two points are weird, I"m not sure if the getting up and leaving is a petty complaint. Does anyone else leave during the meeting? How often do you leave? I can see how if you are he only one leaving, and you leave more than once, people may find it disrupting, especially if they have to wait for you to come back to continue or catch you up. I don't know. Just trying to see it from their side I suppose. And maybe the microwave thing was a heads up that people are talking about you behind your back? That's the only way I can figure why he'd mention it.

Did you get a written review as well without these points listed? Maybe your boss was just trying to give you a heads up? While your performance may be great, if people are going around the office saying bad things about you, it can eventually harm your reputation. Just playing devil's advocate. I can't imagine bringing this up in a review. [/quote]

I am pretty junior so I rarely participate or need to be briefed on what is going on in the meeting. I can see how one would think it is disruptive if they thought I was just getting water - so I can stop doing that but I will still need to go to the bathroom during most 2, 3, 4 hour meetings.

I think that IS why my manager brought up the microwave thing, but it's still gossip. I can't do much to counter gossip based on a perceived slight. [/quote]

So here's the natural way to handle this:

1. Make a comment thats germane to the conversation
2. At the end pause and say something like "I appreciate we've been here for a while, would perhaps a 5 minute break be a good idea?"

Thats it.[/quote]


This is fine if you do it rarely and when absolutely necessary. But if OP is very junior, it is really going to seem like millennial entitlement if he/she tries to take over the structure of the meetings, no matter how unreasonable. I am afraid the only solution is to drink less water so you don't have to step out of the meetings. And listen and learn, even if

[Anonymous]

My sister had a similar experience at a terrible job she was at - her "performance" review included complaints about how she put her foot up (she had a knee issue and had told the team/supervisors about it before "putting her feet up" [not a client facing job]), and how she used a blanket, and other strange, random, totally odd things.

Basically she ended up leaving the job as it appeared full of a bunch of crazies.

[Anonymous]

I am not junior, and I frequently leave meetings (long and short) to go to the bathroom or to get water. I go at times when the conversation has turned away from things I'm directly responsible for. What kinds of meetings are you all having where it's unacceptable to go to the batroom? Are you all like watching navy seal missions live or something?

I can't imagine my manager mentioning this stuff to me. I can't imagine mentioning this stuff to the folks I manage.

[Anonymous]

I'm a high up in HR in my Firm. Bathroom breaks or water breaks and microwave issues would never be mentioned in a performance review unless there were other issues - if you are generally a person who is restless and can't focus on work then I may mention this as a side bar (not the microwave thing). If you make it an absolute habit to leave meetings every single time then yes we would monitor your general behavior and see if you have focus issues. If your work is stellar and you occasionally leave to go to the bathroom it's really not a big deal.

[Anonymous]

0948 use a blanket? what?

and
1104++

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

Also, have you had your blood sugar checked recently? Thirsty plus frequent bathroom visits could be an early sign of diabetes. Not to freak you out.

Yes! Glucose levels are fine. I am young and healthy and I exercise frequently - hence the hydration and peeing.

If your concern is hydration, you drink more right before, during and/or after exercising. Otherwise, normal, healthy adults don't need to drink more than 8 oz every 2-3 hours or so. I drink 3/4 gallon a day, and can go without bathroom breaks for 3 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

Also, have you had your blood sugar checked recently? Thirsty plus frequent bathroom visits could be an early sign of diabetes. Not to freak you out.

Yes! Glucose levels are fine. I am young and healthy and I exercise frequently - hence the hydration and peeing.

If your concern is hydration, you drink more right before, during and/or after exercising. Otherwise, normal, healthy adults don't need to drink more than 8 oz every 2-3 hours or so. I drink 3/4 gallon a day, and can go without bathroom breaks for 3 hours.

Well, good for you, but not everyone is built like you. I need to go at least every 1.5 hours. Waiting three hours would leave me in extreme pain.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP,
I agree this is annoying bullshit. It would aggravate the shit out of me.

I've learned that reviews are all about making your reviewer happy. If for some reason the whole water bottle bathroom thing irks them or goes against the culture of the meeting - then you should reconsider your actions if you want to make a good impression. If you don't care if this pisses them off, then you are well with in your right to keep bringing the water bottle and going to the bathroom. just dont be surprised when the issue surfaces again and be prepared to change or stand by your guns again.

the microwave is stupid. i hate stupid reviews and stupid comments in reviews.

good news is: you will always have a great story to tell! Once during my review, microwave usage was discussed...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

Also, have you had your blood sugar checked recently? Thirsty plus frequent bathroom visits could be an early sign of diabetes. Not to freak you out.

Yes! Glucose levels are fine. I am young and healthy and I exercise frequently - hence the hydration and peeing.

If your concern is hydration, you drink more right before, during and/or after exercising. Otherwise, normal, healthy adults don't need to drink more than 8 oz every 2-3 hours or so. I drink 3/4 gallon a day, and can go without bathroom breaks for 3 hours.

Well, good for you, but not everyone is built like you. I need to go at least every 1.5 hours. Waiting three hours would leave me in extreme pain.

My point was not to say that everyone should be like me.
If your job requires attendance to meetings that last 1-2 hours, you adapt by not drinking too much water before these meetings. Unless you have a medical condition, your employer shouldn't have to accommodate trips to the bathroom only because you hydrate so... intensely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face.

I'm human. Sometimes I will just have to go to the bathroom. On the water, I can stop drinking water at meetings, but that seems like a pretty petty complaint.

Ok, so here's what I see as your problem. You are a junior person who leaves meetings seemingly to get water while the senior people stick around to get the job done and then you think complaints about your disrespectful behavior are petty. Your behavior is disrespectful. As others have said, plan for meetings by not drinking anything for awhile before they start and going to the bathroom right before you go. Don't leave the meeting unless you absolutely physically have to. If you have to leave, make it a quick trip. Don't bring water to the meeting and don't drink during your bathroom break. And, if you haven't thought about this, you should probably also not bring a cellphone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As part of my formal performance appraisal process, I received some weird feedback. My manager said that someone else in our company (but diff dept) complained that I used the microwave in the pantry before her, even though she was next in line, and that this woman then complained to other people about me. I'd never go out of my way to do something rude, and it makes me uncomfortable that random office gossip is part of my review. Apparently other staff also complains that I leave meetings sometimes in the middle to fill up my water bottle. We have long meetings sometimes, and I usually fill up the water bottle when I need to go to the bathroom anyways. Thoughts on how to mitigate this? I only get positive comments on my actual work.

Just look for another job. Bathrooms and water are protected activities. SMH
And your company sucks ass and your boss is a nitwit. So annoyed

[Anonymous]

Oy vey. I'd be really annoyed if someone brought this up with me at a performance review. You're an adult presumably doing an adult job. Adults get to go use the restroom when they need to. What kind of micromanagers think that underlings can't drink water when they are thirsty or go pee when they have to pee?

Me personally, I would be looking for a new job if these were the sorts of things that my manager were complaining about. (And no, I'm not a millennial.)

If the real issue were that you seemed disengaged generally, and these observations were a proxy for that, it might be a different story. Your managers might have more reason to bring the issues to your attention.

What kind of job/office are you in?

[Anonymous]

Some people have medical issues that mean they need more frequent bathroom breaks. They shouldn't have to disclose this to their boss unless they are working on an assembly line or something. Adults should be able to judge for themselves when to pee and other adults shouldn't question the timing of it.