HR Bitch, help -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

I used to be able to go 5 hours (while still staying hydrated). After having DS 11 months ago, I can usually go about 3. Although, if I am sitting and not moving around at all, I can usually go 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

I can if I don't drink water (or coffee or anything else) beforehand. I used to have to sit in court and not leave where the presiding judge would not call a break for hours. The only way I got through was to empty my bladder immediately beforehand and not drink anything for a long time beforehand. Not the healthiest thing.

[Anonymous]

OP, I agree with the PP who said to ask the person organizing the meetings to set a scheduled break of 5-10 min. I'd cut out the water bottle. However, if you are junior, it may appear to those who are senior that you have zero interest in the meetings which can reflect poorly on you (even if that isn't the case). Especially if you hope to move up in the company.

[Anonymous]

Uh, drink less water so you can sit through a meeting like an adult? Unless you are an ultra marathoner you don't need to be drinking quarts a day. It is fine to have to excuse yourself on occasion from a meeting, but it looks weird if you do it every time. You should be able to go 2 hours on a regular basis without going to the bathroom, unless you have a medical condition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

I can, and usually do, go much longer than 90 minutes (while staying hydrated, although I don't drink water by the gallon either). But I think it's unreasonable to go 2+ hours without a break.

However, I just saw that you rarely participate in these meetings and don't need to be briefed. So then is there a point in you having to attend these meetings in the first place? Maybe your time would be better spent doing other things. Perhaps address that with your boss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

[Anonymous]

Some people can't last long. In meetings, I usually have to go every hour. And I drink a ton of water. You're an adult...If you have to go to the restroom, then go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

Also, have you had your blood sugar checked recently? Thirsty plus frequent bathroom visits could be an early sign of diabetes. Not to freak you out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The thing is people probably don't know that you are going to the bathroom - from their POV it just looks like you leave meetings. Look the solution is simple, stop leaving meetings in the middle.

The microwave feedback is so stupid I want to punch your boss in the face.

I'm human. Sometimes I will just have to go to the bathroom. On the water, I can stop drinking water at meetings, but that seems like a pretty petty complaint.

While I agree that the two points are weird, I"m not sure if the getting up and leaving is a petty complaint. Does anyone else leave during the meeting? How often do you leave? I can see how if you are he only one leaving, and you leave more than once, people may find it disrupting, especially if they have to wait for you to come back to continue or catch you up. I don't know. Just trying to see it from their side I suppose. And maybe the microwave thing was a heads up that people are talking about you behind your back? That's the only way I can figure why he'd mention it.

Did you get a written review as well without these points listed? Maybe your boss was just trying to give you a heads up? While your performance may be great, if people are going around the office saying bad things about you, it can eventually harm your reputation. Just playing devil's advocate. I can't imagine bringing this up in a review.

I am pretty junior so I rarely participate or need to be briefed on what is going on in the meeting. I can see how one would think it is disruptive if they thought I was just getting water - so I can stop doing that but I will still need to go to the bathroom during most 2, 3, 4 hour meetings.

I think that IS why my manager brought up the microwave thing, but it's still gossip. I can't do much to counter gossip based on a perceived slight.

So here's the natural way to handle this:

1. Make a comment thats germane to the conversation
2. At the end pause and say something like "I appreciate we've been here for a while, would perhaps a 5 minute break be a good idea?"

Thats it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

Also, have you had your blood sugar checked recently? Thirsty plus frequent bathroom visits could be an early sign of diabetes. Not to freak you out.

Yes! Glucose levels are fine. I am young and healthy and I exercise frequently - hence the hydration and peeing.

[Anonymous]

What company is this? McDonalds?

[Anonymous]

My problem is poop...can't really hold it in for hours! Sorry, but if I feel the urge to poop, I'm leaving immediately, situation be damned.

[Anonymous]

OP, what the meeting issue boils down to is that people find it disruptive. Even if you aren't crucial to the meeting. It probably also gives off the vibe that you are not interested in the meeting. In the end, since you are junior, it probably does not leave a good taste in your superiors' mouths. And, I'm assuming you hope to move up in the company some day.

You have two options it seems.

1. Work out breaks with whoever runs the meetings. Perhaps a 5 min one every 2 hours. Make sure your bladder is empty before you go in and don't chug a bottle of water either.

2. Stop bringing in water bottle with you. I was in a long meeting and 3.5 hrs in, I thought my bladder was going to burst. I was not really part of the meeting so I never had a reason to speak up. But at that point, when there was a brief lull in the conversation, I shut my notebook and said something along the lines of "excuse me. I'm sorry but I'm afraid I have to step out for a brief moment. Apologies for interrupting." And a couple of people suggested we take a break so everyone could get some water and go to the bathroom. I think just standing up with your water bottle and exiting the room without saying anything is rude.

[Anonymous]

Unless you have a medical reason to keep your kidneys flushed (I do), cut down on the water. If it is verbal, it is not a big deal. If it is written, it is a WTF moment.

What I mean is verbal feedback may be the way the boss tells you how you are perceived. Today, I really don't care how I am perceived. But, early in the career, it does matter.

(what I mean by the last comment is that I am the expert in my field -- globally -- How I look (hair combed, for example) does not matter. They need me more than I need them.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Uh, drink less water so you can sit through a meeting like an adult? Unless you are an ultra marathoner you don't need to be drinking quarts a day. It is fine to have to excuse yourself on occasion from a meeting, but it looks weird if you do it every time. You should be able to go 2 hours on a regular basis without going to the bathroom, unless you have a medical condition.

This. You don't need to carry a water bottle everywhere you go. You will not die of dehydration if you go 2-3 hours without drinking water. Use the bathroom before the meeting.