HR Bitch, help -

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How to make yourself look junior? Carry around a water bottle everywhere. I would assume that the managers aren't putting a big water bottle on the table when they have important meetings. Use a cup or go without. You probably are being mistaken for a bike delivery person.

You know it really depends on where you work.

I am a mid level manager and work at a large international organization downtown and think nothing of bringing coffee and water bottle both to a meeting. Its standard for even the highest level directors to have water and coffee served at pretty much every meeting and getting up to get more coffee or water is no big deal.

[Anonymous]

Get a new job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As part of my formal performance appraisal process, I received some weird feedback. My manager said that someone else in our company (but diff dept) complained that I used the microwave in the pantry before her, even though she was next in line, and that this woman then complained to other people about me. I'd never go out of my way to do something rude, and it makes me uncomfortable that random office gossip is part of my review. Apparently other staff also complains that I leave meetings sometimes in the middle to fill up my water bottle. We have long meetings sometimes, and I usually fill up the water bottle when I need to go to the bathroom anyways. Thoughts on how to mitigate this? I only get positive comments on my actual work.

Just look for another job. Bathrooms and water are protected activities. SMH
And your company sucks ass and your boss is a nitwit. So annoyed

Ha ha ha no, water bottles are not protected activity. Nor is drinking so much that you can't sit through an hour long meeting. Millenials!

[Anonymous]

I didn't have the attention span to read thru all the comments and posts, but, OP, do you work in the public or private sector????? Geez. This is so trivial, unless of course, we are talking the EPA, Dept of Labor or some other useless gov't dept.
A few ideas how to address this:
1) pee on the floor during next meeting. See if that is an issue. At a minimum, you can say you addressed one of the criticisms from your last review.
2) get a new job - seriously, did anyone talk to you about the actual work????
3) Get a colostomy bag, and just let it rip while you sit there. Then leaver the bag in your boss's office over the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:0948 use a blanket? what?

and
1104++

9:48 here, apparently her colleagues were bothered by the fact that she put a blanket over her legs, at her own desk, when she was cold.

[Anonymous]

HR Bitch here: OP, I've read what everyone else has said. And I've thought about this. The reality is, sometimes you need to play the game. So go to the bathroom five minutes before the meeting starts. Go to the meeting without water. If you must, bring a small sucking candy or mint (no noise is key). Would most women prefer a bathroom break every two to three hours? Yes. Are there times that's not possible? Yes. Aim to sit there for two hours straight. Take a sip of water while on your bathroom break. If you must, bring a cup of water and sip throughout the meeting, but since clearly it was noticed enough to be commented on, do not refill that cup when you step out to use the bathroom. Play the game.

As for the microwave issue, it's not the lamest thing I've ever heard, but it's up there. Again, play the game. Stand in the kitchen and make a point of pleasantly saying, "Joan, are you next in line for the microwave? Oh, Susan is after you and Barbara is after her? Okay, so I'll go after Barbara."

As long as both of these issues were raised verbally rather than in writing I think you're fine.

[Anonymous]

OP, the things you raised are trivial and should not affect your performance evaluation, but maybe what your manager is subtly trying to tell you is that others in the office don't perceive you as considerate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, the things you raised are trivial and should not affect your performance evaluation, but maybe what your manager is subtly trying to tell you is that others in the office don't perceive you as considerate.

This is what I was thinking as well. Or perhaps perceive her as being professional. He may have been (albeit clumsily) trying to give her some advice on how to appear more professional in the workplace.

[Anonymous]

I agree that OP should try to think ahead by going to the bathroom and filling her water bottle right before a meeting. That said, a boss raising these types of issues in a review meeting is batshit crazy. I would get out of there ASAP. What's next? That they're offended by the color of your hair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:HR Bitch here: OP, I've read what everyone else has said. And I've thought about this. The reality is, sometimes you need to play the game. So go to the bathroom five minutes before the meeting starts. Go to the meeting without water. If you must, bring a small sucking candy or mint (no noise is key). Would most women prefer a bathroom break every two to three hours? Yes. Are there times that's not possible? Yes. Aim to sit there for two hours straight. Take a sip of water while on your bathroom break. If you must, bring a cup of water and sip throughout the meeting, but since clearly it was noticed enough to be commented on, do not refill that cup when you step out to use the bathroom. Play the game.

As for the microwave issue, it's not the lamest thing I've ever heard, but it's up there. Again, play the game. Stand in the kitchen and make a point of pleasantly saying, "Joan, are you next in line for the microwave? Oh, Susan is after you and Barbara is after her? Okay, so I'll go after Barbara."

As long as both of these issues were raised verbally rather than in writing I think you're fine.

Agreed. It's about playing the game as annoying as that is.

[Anonymous]

^Playing the game includes

- no blankets at your desk (buy warmer pants/socks)
- no toys lined up on your cubicle shelves
- don't be away from your desk/a meeting so often that it causes others to take notice

Basically, act like a professional.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^Playing the game includes

- no blankets at your desk (buy warmer pants/socks)
- no toys lined up on your cubicle shelves
- don't be away from your desk/a meeting so often that it causes others to take notice

Basically, act like a professional.

I think the game varies from office to office. For many, personal items on the desk signify an investment in your office existence rather than seeing it as an impersonal space. I'm not looking to debate that so much as to point out that the game in your current office may be microwave etiquette and no water bottles whereas your next office it could be something equally as stupid but completely different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^Playing the game includes

- no blankets at your desk (buy warmer pants/socks)
- no toys lined up on your cubicle shelves
- don't be away from your desk/a meeting so often that it causes others to take notice

Basically, act like a professional.

I think the game varies from office to office. For many, personal items on the desk signify an investment in your office existence rather than seeing it as an impersonal space. I'm not looking to debate that so much as to point out that the game in your current office may be microwave etiquette and no water bottles whereas your next office it could be something equally as stupid but completely different.

Not personal items, but actual children's toys. Happy meal freebees and what not. I should take a picture of a coworkers desk. The whole company talks about it and looks down on it. Too bad her supervisor doesn't give her a heads up.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:If you regularly have meetings that are very long (more than 1.5 hours in a row), then suggest to the organizer that they have to build in a 5-10 minute break. Otherwise, unless you have a medical condition, I would think you should be able to sit through a meeting without needing to use the bathroom or to get more water (and if it's really just to get more water, then the solution is simple - get a larger water bottle). Depending on how formal these meetings are, I can totally see how your walking out of the meetings can be perceived as disruptive or rude, and also possibly showing a lack of interest/engagement.

OP here. Honest question - can most people usually go over 90 minutes without having to pee?

That would be painful for me but I have interstitial cystitis.

Is the person who complained a man?mive heard most men only pee three or four times a day. I pee at least six to eight times a day.

Also, have you had your blood sugar checked recently? Thirsty plus frequent bathroom visits could be an early sign of diabetes. Not to freak you out.

Yes! Glucose levels are fine. I am young and healthy and I exercise frequently - hence the hydration and peeing.

If your concern is hydration, you drink more right before, during and/or after exercising. Otherwise, normal, healthy adults don't need to drink more than 8 oz every 2-3 hours or so. I drink 3/4 gallon a day, and can go without bathroom breaks for 3 hours.

Well, good for you, but not everyone is built like you. I need to go at least every 1.5 hours. Waiting three hours would leave me in extreme pain.

Good thing you are not a teacher! I use the restroom before school starts, and that's it until lunch.

[Anonymous]

Oh wow- you have a wimpy boss and a stupid org that actually cares about this crap! I know this since I worked at a place like this- my boss actually gave a crap about this stuff (RED FLAG)- other people actually care if you go to the bathroom in another department (you need to go to your own)- RED FLAG- basically - a place of self perpetuating psychos. You can play the game but if you don't get it by now (are not psycho)- chances are you won't have or want to have a future at this place. Your boss is a super red flag- you can't change this stuff either. You can change your future and I would strongly suggest looking elsewhere and leaving this place. Gl.