friends & family in absentia: the aftermath
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Anonymous
We are all terminal, nobody lives forever. My brother is a cancer survivor, yearly celebrations would bother him because he is back to his normal life. |
Anonymous
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I think it's very odd that you have come to expect this. You seem to believe it's an entitlement that they will throw a party.
Curious -- are you trying to manage the details of it, too? Are you maybe a bit of a task master? A perfectionist? I agree that an annual party is over the top. |
Anonymous
We get it. You're rude, entitled, lazy and nasty. The more you post the more clear it becomes. |
Anonymous
Leave her poor husband out if it. There's not actually any indication he thinks his friends are being selfish, other than OP loudly proclaiming that she reds a way to talk to him about it, like he just asked her where babies come from. |
Anonymous
| I'm doubting OP is even real. Well maybe her first post was, but then she got torn apart so she made up additional details. |
Anonymous
I TOLD you what to do right at the beginning. Go intimate with your celebration. Again: nothing says "yay for not having cancer!" like a blowjob. |
Anonymous
| They don't want to do it anymore, it's been 5 years. Does DH even want a party at this point? If so, why? Do you need constant reminding and celebration that he is free of cancer or can you just get on with your lives and forget about what other people are not doing for you? |
Anonymous
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OP, take your husband for a normal but special date, like to a fancy restaurant or out for a day of hiking somewhere pretty. Make it about celebrating everyday life together. Don't try to "console" him but instead make it about a positive change to a more normal gear. I'm sorry that he's still terminal; what does he have?
Your irritation and repeated posts make you seem like a troll. People are focusing on the friends and family thing because in order to give you advice, we have to either better understand the situation or else explain that we can't agree with your premise that this non-party is a big blow. You post at DCUM and you get whatever comes, not always what you dictate. |
Anonymous
| Cancer free but terminally ill from the cancer for the last 5 years? Sorry but I wouldn't want to have a party for a terminally ill relative every year. It's like waiting around for someone to die and then once a year there is a party..."Hey Bob, great to be here this year. Didn't know if you'd make it. Well if your around next year I was thinking about Korean barbeque and a bounce house for the kids at my place?" |
Anonymous
This does not make much sense. Maybe your friends and family are confused as well. Just plan something yourself to mark the event. |
Anonymous
| Do something special with your husband to celebrate. A nice dinner, day trip, long weekend would be good ideas. I don't think it's abnormal or wrong for friends to stop throwing big parties every year. If it is important for you to be around friends then you need to be the ones to invite them over or arrange for dinner out. Pick a day and location and email everyone. If they can make it then great if not, then too bad. It seems like everyone is too busy to plan the party. |
Anonymous
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Is your DH depressed about this? Does he even need consoling? A lot of men don't really need huge parties. I think a phone call or even email from friends would be okay.
As far as how to console him- console him the way you would when anything else goes wrong. You are not going to make him forget anything but do something for him. Only you know what would work bc you know your husbands interests. |
Anonymous
| Count your lucky stars that he's now cancer free and enjoy every day you have left. Be grateful that people celebrated in the past but it's time to move on. People don't owe you a party. They have their own problems to deal with. You don't own all the problems in the world. Celebrate quietly with your husband. |
Anonymous
| Go away for the weekend and celebrate. |
Anonymous
| Tell your husband you'd like to change it up this year and doing something just focused on the two of you. Before next year's anniversary, ask family and friends how they want to celebrate and make it clear that you will pay. |