Today I forgave my husband for cheating on me...AMA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that you've forgiven him?

It's honestly a work in progress. I wanted a divorce up until yesterday. Now I have accepted the mindset that we are going to work on this. I forgave him earlier, but them I had to figure out whether I should stay or go. I'm staying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one said it is okay to disrespect other people. However, many people do not believe that cheating is reason enough to break up a marriage. And it's not 'doing nothing' just because one makes a decision not to divorce the spouse who cheated.

I guess those people never took vows that included 'forsaking all others?' Or else they were too stupid to understand what it meant?

People make mistakes. Maybe you should read a bit about forgiveness.

Agreed- like forgiving cheaters.

Thank god your opinion is just that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

Why do you insist on being so rude about someone else's situation? You're not changing anyone else's mind.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

Why do you insist on being so rude about someone else's situation? You're not changing anyone else's mind.

What is rude about the truth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

OP here. Yes, he slept with someone else. But I have to live with myself and even if I've been wronged I'm not going to let it change me into a person that is worse than what I was before. I've decided to make myself better (well, I hope haha). I'm not going to take out on other people either. Obviously I have taken it out on him but there's only so much of that one can do until it's not productive either. Now we're past that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

Why do you insist on being so rude about someone else's situation? You're not changing anyone else's mind.

What is rude about the truth?

Rude is posting one-liners attempting to make the OP and anyone else who disagrees with you feel like they're wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

Why do you insist on being so rude about someone else's situation? You're not changing anyone else's mind.

What is rude about the truth?

Rude is posting one-liners attempting to make the OP and anyone else who disagrees with you feel like they're wrong.

She is wrong, and maybe the next time he does it, she'll realize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good for you! Enjoy your life now.

Any guidance on what you did to get over it?

I posted on here for advice. I took a look at myself and what I brought to the table -- an affair rips open your reality. You see your flaws, your spouses flaws. You take a look at yourself and try to change. Little by little you mend and a new growth of self comes. And then you can move on - together or not together.

I actually forgave him first -- but I had up forgive myself, which took way longer.

[Anonymous]

To clarify: it affects me not at all. If she wants to be treated like dirt, that's her business, but she should realize that she's saying she's willing to take it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To clarify: it affects me not at all. If she wants to be treated like dirt, that's her business, but she should realize that she's saying she's willing to take it.

OP here - why does this touch a nerve with you? You are passionate about your stance. Do tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you forgave him, don't bring it up again without reason. Or it just tells him you didn't forgive him.

TBH, I would have divorced him, but anyway, if you want to stay together, don't hold it over his head. Give him the chance to rebuild your trust.

OP here, that ^ was me too. I don't bring it up at liberty - I'm not that kind of person. But you are right - rubbing it in someone's face just isn't very productive.

Sleeping with someone else isn't productive either, but that's the kind of person your husband is.

Why do you insist on being so rude about someone else's situation? You're not changing anyone else's mind.

What is rude about the truth?

Rude is posting one-liners attempting to make the OP and anyone else who disagrees with you feel like they're wrong.

She is wrong, and maybe the next time he does it, she'll realize.

OP here. Yes, you're right, if he cheats again I will realize something. Don't know what it will be?

Maybe I'll cheat. Then will we equally deserve each other?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Today is the day I got over it all. It's been 11 months since D-day. Meaning the day I found out.

And you posted here

[Anonymous]

I would never take a cheating man back no matter what especially after my parents situation. My father cheated on my mom when we were in elementary school. She stayed, he cheated on her again when we were in college and gave her an incurable STD. I honestly believe he never stopped cheating on her the entire time, but just got good at hiding it.

It's a real gamble to be with a man when you can't trust where and who his stick has been in.