A new twist on the "SAHM with a nanny" discussion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Glad that being the mandarins of the global hegemon is working out for you ...

I am going to name my next band Mandarins of the Global Hegemon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Glad that being the mandarins of the global hegemon is working out for you ...

I am going to name my next band Mandarins of the Global Hegemon.

Love it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Glad that being the mandarins of the global hegemon is working out for you ...

I am going to name my next band Mandarins of the Global Hegemon.

You are my new favorite person. Ever. Thank you!

[Anonymous]

I think it is funny that the point (as I read it) of OP's post was to note how people judge others regardless of the circumstances, and the response is three pages of people judging her.

[Anonymous]

Really funny OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's pretty funny, OP.

Love it, OP!

[Anonymous]

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity."

How do you know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes chopping as in meal prep.

And yes, I'm lazy! And no, not the world's best Mom. But having the help around the house certainly helps me pay way more attention to my kids, work part-time at the Embassy, and the bonus is I get to try new recipes, watch Ted talks, have lunch with friends, go on hikes alone, learn how to crochet, and catch up on all of those projects (like a "legacy drawer") that I always swore I would do one day.

We sacrificed a lot to move overseas to do the job that we do. I'm taking advantage of the good parts, like household help, without a second thought. My kids are in school full-time and I am THRILLED to spend none of that time cleaning or doing food-prep or organizing the pantry. Beyond thrilled. Ecstatic.

Glad some of you found the humor in it!

OP, I'm happy for you. I work my ass off, but I'm glad to know you have the luxuries you do. I'm secure and happy enough to know that it doesn't mean you're less of a Mom or less of a woman... it just means you have help, and more power to you! I'd do it if I could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes chopping as in meal prep.

And yes, I'm lazy! And no, not the world's best Mom. But having the help around the house certainly helps me pay way more attention to my kids, work part-time at the Embassy, and the bonus is I get to try new recipes, watch Ted talks, have lunch with friends, go on hikes alone, learn how to crochet, and catch up on all of those projects (like a "legacy drawer") that I always swore I would do one day.

We sacrificed a lot to move overseas to do the job that we do. I'm taking advantage of the good parts, like household help, without a second thought. My kids are in school full-time and I am THRILLED to spend none of that time cleaning or doing food-prep or organizing the pantry. Beyond thrilled. Ecstatic.

Glad some of you found the humor in it!

WTF is a legacy drawer?

[Anonymous]

Can't speak for other people's jobs but there is no way I could work at home effectively and deal with an infant.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, yes chopping as in meal prep.

And yes, I'm lazy! And no, not the world's best Mom. But having the help around the house certainly helps me pay way more attention to my kids, work part-time at the Embassy, and the bonus is I get to try new recipes, watch Ted talks, have lunch with friends, go on hikes alone, learn how to crochet, and catch up on all of those projects (like a "legacy drawer") that I always swore I would do one day.

We sacrificed a lot to move overseas to do the job that we do. I'm taking advantage of the good parts, like household help, without a second thought. My kids are in school full-time and I am THRILLED to spend none of that time cleaning or doing food-prep or organizing the pantry. Beyond thrilled. Ecstatic.

Glad some of you found the humor in it!

Glad that being the mandarins of the global hegemon is working out for you ...

I assume you get paid market-rate for whatever profession you do? My housekeeper does too, actually she makes about 50% over market rate and 300% more than the minimum wage here. She gets paid vacations and sick leave. She is treated with respect and dignity. Whatever accusation you're trying to make is patronizing and unnecessary. We are good people serving our country. I sleep just fine.

True story: My friend's dad once rode on a plane with Jimmy Hoffa. He asked Jimmy about the Teamsters, and Jimmy said, "I sleep fine at night."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

[/quote


Yes! Why don't women realize this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

Wonderfully said on all counts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

Wonderfully said on all counts.

Yes, of course. We should all have our children cared for by brown subalterns while we work hobby jobs at "the Embassy" and prepare our "legacy drawers." Global lifestyle arbitrage, baby, it's the new gentrification!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never pay a stranger to raise my kids. It horrifies me just thinking about it.

Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right?

We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house.

I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell.

So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession.

Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny.

I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc.

As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced.

I agree very much with the above in bold! Well said.