A new twist on the "SAHM with a nanny" discussion!
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Anonymous
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I have a friend here with 2 nannies. She spends tons of time with her kids but if she needs to run out for an errand or take a call (she does do some freelance work) or anything, she's totally covered. I think it's great. She's employing two people who are supporting their whole families. I guess I think if you can afford to employ people you should. Avoiding time with your kids, well, that's a shame.
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Anonymous
| Interesting OP. What country? |
Anonymous
+1000 This is something that DCUM cannot understand. A few facts about someone and they're judge and jury. |
Anonymous
Oh please. Stop being so provincial. You do know that nannies, nursemaids, ayas, baboes, governesses, etc. are the DEFAULT in how the rich have raised their precious offspring the world over for centuries, right? We in the US have a mental block against domestic help. Americans are not comfortable with the concept! Very funny, actually. My husband is the same way. Midwestern middle class background, very awkward initially with our nanny and housekeeper. For some reason, the pool guy and gardener didn't befuddle him so much--maybe because they never came in the house. I was born in a third world country, and came over as an infant. My family has earned, inherited, and lost, a fortune before immigrating to the US. My mother was raised by a nanny, and then became a housemaid herself when the family's fortune's fell. So, the concept of domestic help is not alien to me, and I also feel a lot of warmth for the profession. Americans don't like maids and nannies because y'all feel that the job is somehow demeaning, and having domestic help is "putting on airs" and "getting uppity." Well, it's not. It's an honorable way to make a living, taking care of and loving infants and children. the same person who judges someone for having the means to afford domestic help has no problem ordering around an overworked minimum wage worker in some fast food joint working 3 jobs trying to support a wife a kid. That worker probably has, dollar for earned dollar, a way more financially insecure and exploited life than a private nanny. I love my nanny. I don't love her more than she loves my kids (which is plenty), but that's the way it should be. I see my kids and want to surround them with as many people who love them as possible. This includes the nanny, grandparents, etc. etc. As long as this is an anonymous forum, I will just come out and state what I always felt: it's not HEALTHY for a woman whose sole purpose is to stay at home and not do anything else. It would be different if the husband also stayed at home, then you are just people of leisure and you have company. But this weird ideal that is imposed on American women that you should shoulder ALL of the childrearing and housekeeping while your husband works 80 hours a week and travels all the time is imbalanced. |
Anonymous
she's just jealous. Her jealously is actually seeping through my computer screen, it's that obvious. |
Anonymous
| Is you nanny chopping or shopping? I was thinking it was a typo. Unless you mean chopping as in meal prep. |
Anonymous
As a SAHM I would also NEVER pay someone to watch my children full time. I would also never put my children in daycare or "preschool" (under 2.5 at least). Yes, of course if I needed because I had some debilitating chronic disease, or were taking care of someone (husband, in laws, elderly parents, etc) that is another story. I do not judge (really I don't), but I would not know what to do with all the time in my hands as a SAHM with full time childcare. I would have no problem leaving them under the care of others in case I worked. |
Anonymous
OP here, yes chopping as in meal prep. 
And yes, I'm lazy! And no, not the world's best Mom. But having the help around the house certainly helps me pay way more attention to my kids, work part-time at the Embassy, and the bonus is I get to try new recipes, watch Ted talks, have lunch with friends, go on hikes alone, learn how to crochet, and catch up on all of those projects (like a "legacy drawer") that I always swore I would do one day. We sacrificed a lot to move overseas to do the job that we do. I'm taking advantage of the good parts, like household help, without a second thought. My kids are in school full-time and I am THRILLED to spend none of that time cleaning or doing food-prep or organizing the pantry. Beyond thrilled. Ecstatic. Glad some of you found the humor in it!
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Anonymous
Glad that being the mandarins of the global hegemon is working out for you ... |
Anonymous
| Why are people so judgmental? OP, I am super jealous and would do the same in your shoes. A friend of mine in Hong Kong has a live in maid who cooks, cleans, grocery shops, walks the dogs, etc. for $400/month. I pay that much for someone JUST to walk my dogs. |
Anonymous
| i have 2 nannies as well here in the US. i lived abroad and it was not unusual to have two nannies, a cook and a driver! that was the life. |
Anonymous
| OP, you have a housekeeper. I am soooo envious! |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
I assume you get paid market-rate for whatever profession you do? My housekeeper does too, actually she makes about 50% over market rate and 300% more than the minimum wage here. She gets paid vacations and sick leave. She is treated with respect and dignity. Whatever accusation you're trying to make is patronizing and unnecessary. We are good people serving our country. I sleep just fine. |
Anonymous
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I can't believe that some people are mocking the OP. What exactly is she doing wrong? She is in a place where she can afford to hire help, thereby giving jobs to others (and no, it is not a good idea to pay more than market rate). She is benefiting from this, which is wonderful. OP, I think every single one of the posters on this thread, including me, would love to switch places with you. I enjoyed your post
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