Bailing on famiy who planned a formal dinner

[Anonymous]

Oh, and I don't know why people are being so hard on you. Somebody even mentioned divorce. Lol, geez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I disagree with almost every other poster -- I see no reason for you, DH and kid to try to attend this event. I presume it's part of a larger trip to the resort with the family. There's no reason why you have to attend EVERY. SINGLE. EVENT. It's ok to bow out if the logistics don't work for you and clearly they don't.

Politely bow out, see them at other things and during down time, and don't let anyone give you shit.

+1!!

[Anonymous]

We went on a cruise for a friend's wedding. We all had late seating dinner. One couple had a 3 year old. They would go to the buffet at 5 with the 3yo and have a light meal to eat with him. Then they would go back to the room, do the bedtime routine, bathe, change clothes, brush teeth, etc. His bedtime was between 8:00-8:30. At 7:45, the sitter would arrive, and the little boy would get into bed watching a video. The parents would then come down to dinner at 8pm. Worked out well for everyone. Maybe ask to have a later dinner for the big night and that will limit what the sitter has to do and you can get your child up to bedtime (or close). I agree with the PP who said that sitters at resorts are going to be lot safer than any random sitter. The sitters work for the resort and the resort has a lot of information on them. The reputation of the resort is on the line and they will make sure to vet the sitters.

[Anonymous]

This is the hormones talking. Go and just plan to leave if DS has a hard time.

Simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the hormones talking. Go and just plan to leave if DS has a hard time.

Simple.

This. Sometimes little kids can surprise the heck out of you with their good behavior. You actually might get through the dinner. But if you don't...

Dh can bring you back a doggie bag to the hotel room or, of course, there's still pizza. Don't stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We went on a cruise for a friend's wedding. We all had late seating dinner. One couple had a 3 year old. They would go to the buffet at 5 with the 3yo and have a light meal to eat with him. Then they would go back to the room, do the bedtime routine, bathe, change clothes, brush teeth, etc. His bedtime was between 8:00-8:30. At 7:45, the sitter would arrive, and the little boy would get into bed watching a video. The parents would then come down to dinner at 8pm. Worked out well for everyone. Maybe ask to have a later dinner for the big night and that will limit what the sitter has to do and you can get your child up to bedtime (or close). I agree with the PP who said that sitters at resorts are going to be lot safer than any random sitter. The sitters work for the resort and the resort has a lot of information on them. The reputation of the resort is on the line and they will make sure to vet the sitters.

My kids would never have accepted a strange sitter like that. Not at the age of 3.

[Anonymous]

I have a three year old. I would take him to the dinner, bring a portable DVD player, headphones and DVDs for him. I'd have him sit and talk politely for as long as he could hold out, and then sit him in a corner and plug him in. Works for car trips, why not this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it with this very pregnant bs..please I was pregnant a few times and unless you are on bed rest which then the trip would be out of question anyway..it's his family reunion.geezzz pull it together. Why can't you use a resort sitter for one night? You already said it is a high end resort..stop being crazy. I have traveled at many high end resorts and believe me..they can't have a problem happen. Their sitters are usually bonded and drug tested..relax and don't ruin this for your husband. Also, if they think you are nutty..do some inward thinking..Are you nutty?? Work on this as it will save you a divorce.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a three year old. I would take him to the dinner, bring a portable DVD player, headphones and DVDs for him. I'd have him sit and talk politely for as long as he could hold out, and then sit him in a corner and plug him in. Works for car trips, why not this?

I can't really explain why it bugs me when parents use electronics like that, but it does bug me. The 3 year old sitting there zoned out watching his DVD player will soon become the zoned out 13 year old sitting at the table listening to his MP-3 player.

I'm probably hopelessly old fashioned but I prefer - no electronics at the dinner table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is it with this very pregnant bs..please I was pregnant a few times and unless you are on bed rest which then the trip would be out of question anyway..it's his family reunion.geezzz pull it together. Why can't you use a resort sitter for one night? You already said it is a high end resort..stop being crazy. I have traveled at many high end resorts and believe me..they can't have a problem happen. Their sitters are usually bonded and drug tested..relax and don't ruin this for your husband. Also, if they think you are nutty..do some inward thinking..Are you nutty?? Work on this as it will save you a divorce.

+1

+2

If the resort sitter thing works for you - great, use one. Problem solved. But it's rude to call a parent "nutty" for not wanting to use one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a three year old. I would take him to the dinner, bring a portable DVD player, headphones and DVDs for him. I'd have him sit and talk politely for as long as he could hold out, and then sit him in a corner and plug him in. Works for car trips, why not this?

I can't really explain why it bugs me when parents use electronics like that, but it does bug me. The 3 year old sitting there zoned out watching his DVD player will soon become the zoned out 13 year old sitting at the table listening to his MP-3 player.

I'm probably hopelessly old fashioned but I prefer - no electronics at the dinner table.

I agree. It's ruder and instilling terrible habits to do this instead of just doing age-appropriate things. And just waiting until the kid melts down and then taking him out is obnoxious too. Much better to just accept that three year olds don't do formal late-night dinners. Why set the kid and yourself up for failure?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a three year old. I would take him to the dinner, bring a portable DVD player, headphones and DVDs for him. I'd have him sit and talk politely for as long as he could hold out, and then sit him in a corner and plug him in. Works for car trips, why not this?

I can't really explain why it bugs me when parents use electronics like that, but it does bug me. The 3 year old sitting there zoned out watching his DVD player will soon become the zoned out 13 year old sitting at the table listening to his MP-3 player.

I'm probably hopelessly old fashioned but I prefer - no electronics at the dinner table.

I agree. It's ruder and instilling terrible habits to do this instead of just doing age-appropriate things. And just waiting until the kid melts down and then taking him out is obnoxious too. Much better to just accept that three year olds don't do formal late-night dinners. Why set the kid and yourself up for failure?

It's a family dinner, not a state dinner. Certainly, the folks that arranged this whole affair know that they have a 3 year old coming. Normally, I wouldn't ever even think to bring a 3 year old to a dress up, formal dinner like that. But this is family for goodness sake and he is *invited*. I say dress him up, bring him and let everyone have fun with him. Everyone there knows that he might not make it through the entire dinner. But he might surprise everybody and be the life of the party. Relax, go, leave if you have to. People will understand!

[Anonymous]

sitter..problem solved. As for my child wouldn't handle. Yes they would..they can handle so much more than you know. Experienced sitters can handle the worst tantrum and most kids by three are in some sort of preschool anyway. As for electronics at the table..god if you are trying to make this dinner work..loosen it up for one night. So many crazy parents on this site lately.

[Anonymous]

Hire a sitter. It's just one night and you want to skip the dinner? That's going to piss off your DH's family to no good purpose. Or send DH to the dinner and go back to the room with kid to "rest." No one is so pregnant they cannot do the lifting required to put a 3 year old to bed unless you are high risk for some reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you expect the entire family to revolve around you just because you have a three year old?

She's not asking for that at all. In fact, seems to me that she's trying NOT to make the event all about her and her small child. Maybe a lot of those relatives will get pissy and roll their eyes if the kid acts up and starts throwing a tantrum. If anything, she's trying to take the attention off of her child. And I highly doubt there will be any deathbed regrets on either side if her kid does go to the buffet and they call it an early night. Family events often get blown out of proportion and then years later, people hardly recall them.