Is my SIL overreacting?

[Anonymous]

I would never do that with someone else's kid. However, I do that with my kid and have no issue with my Mom doing the same with my DS (haven't had any other relatives do it). Your SIL did overreact, but it's her kid so I would have just apologized.

Re: cavities - while the bacteria can be transferred that way, the likelihood is quite small. For the Mom who's kid had cavities before 18 mo - either your dentist is overreacting (or making up fillings) or your kid has soft teeth. Despite the best oral hygine, some people are going to get a lot of cavities. There is a huge genetic component to cavities (brushing, floride, and sealants are still very important).

[Anonymous]

I think your SIL overreacted, but you should have not have told her it is "no big deal" when it clearly was a very big deal to her. I would just drop the whole subject with her.

My BIL offered my 20 month old a bite of his already bitten sandwich last weekend and it was not a bid deal for me. I don't see you as being out of line for offering a piece of bitten fruit but you do have to comply with the mom's wishes once she made them known, despite her rudeness.

[Anonymous]

I think your SIL didn't need to yell or tell you things about your mouth, but I think she was completely within her rights to tell you what she wants and doesn't want to have done with her baby. Politely, that is. At that point you should do as asked and not start an argument about hygiene, your mouth etc.

Mothers have convictions related to their children. They may make sense to other people or not, but it's not your place to question them.

For example, I don't give sweets to my son, I just don't. When our friend's wife once offered him a piece of candy, I said gently, please don't, and redirected her hand. She was surprised afterwards that he doesn't have candy, but I was like, I don't have to explain this to you, I don't want him to have candy and that is that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes she over reacted and was out of line. I would have also told you not to do that. I never did that with my kids, I always cut up their food.

Sorry OP

+1

[Anonymous]

Her reaction was too strong, but she's right. She's also the one dealing with snot, fever, and sleepless nights if you are coming down with something but don't know it yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just what do you expect your brother to do? Take your side over his wife's? Not going to happen.

He does any other time his wife has her freak out moments with me or my mom.

Yoj sound like an absolute bitch of a sister in law with this comment.

Before I just thought you were entitled and a bit stupid about what is appropriate.

Now after seeing this comment I completely understand why your SIL freaked out on you.

You (and your mom) need to quit interferring in their marriage and quit trying to make her husband take your side.

Like it or not, that woman and her child are his primary family now. You are not. Your mother is not. Your goal needs to either be help them have a happy marriage with their family, or if you can't do that, butt out. Quit being so controlling, interferring and manipulative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just what do you expect your brother to do? Take your side over his wife's? Not going to happen.

He does any other time his wife has her freak out moments with me or my mom.

Yoj sound like an absolute bitch of a sister in law with this comment.

Before I just thought you were entitled and a bit stupid about what is appropriate.

Now after seeing this comment I completely understand why your SIL freaked out on you.

You (and your mom) need to quit interferring in their marriage and quit trying to make her husband take your side.

Like it or not, that woman and her child are his primary family now. You are not. Your mother is not. Your goal needs to either be help them have a happy marriage with their family, or if you can't do that, butt out. Quit being so controlling, interferring and manipulative.

+1

If this is something you brag about, god help that marriage.

[Anonymous]

May you be blessed with the exact same times of in laws that you and your mother have been to your SIL, but tenfold.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just what do you expect your brother to do? Take your side over his wife's? Not going to happen.

He does any other time his wife has her freak out moments with me or my mom.

Yoj sound like an absolute bitch of a sister in law with this comment.

Before I just thought you were entitled and a bit stupid about what is appropriate.

Now after seeing this comment I completely understand why your SIL freaked out on you.

You (and your mom) need to quit interferring in their marriage and quit trying to make her husband take your side.

Like it or not, that woman and her child are his primary family now. You are not. Your mother is not. Your goal needs to either be help them have a happy marriage with their family, or if you can't do that, butt out. Quit being so controlling, interferring and manipulative.

+1

If this is something you brag about, god help that marriage.

+2. Your poor SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What?!?! Oh, OP, PLEASE tell your brother so he can also tell you off. I would also have yelled at you. My child had 4 cavities at age 18 months and had to have them capped. This never happened with the first two so why with this one? We were religious about tooth brushing and he genuinely never ate sweets, candy, or sticky type food like goldfish, etc, that would stick to the teeth. We brushed morning and night since first tooth. No bottle use, and night weaned on his own around 9 months. Why the cavities? Our dentist tells us that the bacteria that cause cavities is CONTAGIOUS. Neither DH and I have untreated cavities, but it's possible that someone else does, or that we're just carrying the germs. People just don't use their heads. And, OP, whether or not you think you are right, you are out of control trying to tell the mother of the kid that you have some sort of rights to do so because she's your NEICE. As for telling her brother, do it, please, so the brother doesn't think his wife is exaggerating when she tells him what his moronic sister did this time. Keep your mouth to yourself from now on, and apologize to SIL, big time.

Agree with this!!! I have lots of cavities and am determined not to share my bacteria with my baby.

Bacteria aside, how did you determine your mouth was "clean." That is a super stupid thing to say.

AND something posters are not mentioning, your SIL is probably pretty stressed and exhausted raising a 10 month old. She should be given some slack just for that. OP you don't have kids, so you have NO idea what she is experiencing. NO IDEA! She certainly doesn't need your bad behavior adding to her things to deal with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just what do you expect your brother to do? Take your side over his wife's? Not going to happen.

He does any other time his wife has her freak out moments with me or my mom.

Yoj sound like an absolute bitch of a sister in law with this comment.

Before I just thought you were entitled and a bit stupid about what is appropriate.

Now after seeing this comment I completely understand why your SIL freaked out on you.

You (and your mom) need to quit interferring in their marriage and quit trying to make her husband take your side.

Like it or not, that woman and her child are his primary family now. You are not. Your mother is not. Your goal needs to either be help them have a happy marriage with their family, or if you can't do that, butt out. Quit being so controlling, interferring and manipulative.

My mom and I will always be his and his child's family. Him and his wife can divorce anytime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So over the weekend, I was feeding my 10 month old niece some fruit (strawberries and grapes). I bit the fruit and half and fed it to her. My SIL (her mother) came in and how me do this and immediately flipped out. She told me not to feed her daughter food out of my mouth. I told her it’s not a big deal. She said it was and that she doesn’t know where my mouth has been (RUDE!). I said my mouth is clean and she’s my niece. She said well she’s NOT your daughter. Then she said when you have your own kids you can give them food out of your mouth, but don’t you DARE ever do that with my child again! I couldn’t believe it, I was so upset that I was in tears. I really think she overreacted. Should I tell my brother about this?

The mother came in and said not to do it. It's her child and then the OP gave her backtalk. It is her child and she has every right to tell NOT to do this. Glad the OP cried-seems a bit unbalanced to cry over this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You were way out of line. I would be appalled if my SIL did this.

+1
OP you can do this with your own children NOT a child that is not yours. It's gross and it crosses a line IMHO.

[Anonymous]

I think that sounds gross. If my sister-in-law did it, I would have handed her a knife and said, "here, use this to cut the fruit to keep is hygienic for the kid". I then would have told my DH what happened. However, if my SIL had a history of being pushy and difficult, I could see myself freaking out, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just what do you expect your brother to do? Take your side over his wife's? Not going to happen.

He does any other time his wife has her freak out moments with me or my mom.

Yoj sound like an absolute bitch of a sister in law with this comment.

Before I just thought you were entitled and a bit stupid about what is appropriate.

Now after seeing this comment I completely understand why your SIL freaked out on you.

You (and your mom) need to quit interferring in their marriage and quit trying to make her husband take your side.

Like it or not, that woman and her child are his primary family now. You are not. Your mother is not. Your goal needs to either be help them have a happy marriage with their family, or if you can't do that, butt out. Quit being so controlling, interferring and manipulative.

My mom and I will always be his and his child's family. Him and his wife can divorce anytime.

You sound like an awful person, OP. Shame on you and get some grammar lessons.