No heartbeat today ... and now I have to decide how to expell contents of uterus

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thank you for sharing this. I'm glad you are at peace with your decision. I hope I will get there too.

Is nausea a common side effect of the meds? My OB did not mention this and told me to take ibuprophen for pain. Someone else mentioned vicodin. I do not have a high tolerance for pain and can't take narcotics because they usually make me sick to my stomach. Anti-nausea drugs are tough for me too. They do take away the nausea but put me to sleep in a big way.

Yes, my OB said nausea is a common side effect. I alternated between high dose ibuprofen (600 mg per dose, I think) and some sort of narcotic pain killer. Anti-nausea drugs and narcotic pain killers make me very sleepy too, almost narcoleptic-like sometimes, but you won't be doing anything or going anywhere during the period when you need the drugs, so I'd say take them. The worst of the pain was over in about 45 minutes for me, then I had couple of secondary episodes the same day that felt like early labor cramps or the kind of intense menstrual cramps I sometimes had as a teenager. I also remember passing another small chunk of tissue maybe 36-48 hours after the initial episode, but it wasn't painful, just unpleasant. You probably won't need any meds after the first day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes the internet is good and sometimes not so much. I was searching to find out how painful a miscarriage is and found a site that talks about so much pain that I don't think I can take the meds this weekend. http://babyandbump.momtastic.com/miscarriage-support/317291-painful-your-miscarriage.html My cervix was fully closed today so sounds even more painful. I guess it is different for everyone, but wonder how long it will take for my body to begin the process -- will I make it to next week for the D&C?

Was this an IVF pregnancy? If so, staying on your progesterone and estrogen would probably prevent you from passing the embryo unexpectedly before your D&C next week. I stayed on mine for at least a week after the miscarriage was diagnosed, because I needed some time to decide between the meds and a D&C and I was afraid of passing the tissue at work or otherwise without warning.

[Anonymous]

It was not an IVF this time. As one pp put it, it was a surprise miracle baby, or at least that was what we had hoped it would turn out to be.

I was bleeding a little last night but not much today. My boobs have already gotten smaller and I can feel my bady changing, but mostly, I feel completely drained.

[Anonymous]

I lost a pregnancy at 12 weeks that was from IVF. I opted for a d&c with a doctor covering for my usual one 2 days later and it was a good decision. I felt like I could start dealing with the emotional aftermath sooner and it provided some closure. Physically it was fine. Emotionally was difficult

[Anonymous]

I had to take Cytotec once and found it quite painful. The side effects were also unpleasant. When I questioned my OB about the pain potential, she said "We'll, it's a good thing you have that Percocet."

I would not take Cytotec without narcotics. I've had miscarriages without painkillers and found the one at 6+ weeks quite uncomfortable.

We all have different levels of tolerance for pain. Just wanted to give you another perspective.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Just another voice telling you how sorry I am for your loss.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think I need to take some deep breaths ... so I decided to schedule the D&C, but could not do so on Friday because by the time I made the decision it was too late in the day to schedule -- my doc had already gone home for the day and the scheduling nurse had to wait to hear back from her, presumably today. No one called me this morning like I had hoped, so I called and left a message for the schedling nurse about an hour ago and now I feel like I am just in this terrible state of limbo waiting for my phone to ring. First I didn't know what I wanted to do and now that I decided I just want to get this scheduled and over with. I feel like all of this saddness and anxiety is going on inside my heart and my mind and I am going through the motions of my day as if nothing is happening and everything is just fine. I am worried about making arrangements for the care of my kids so my DH can be with me at the hospital and I have all these work deadlines this week too. I don't do well with the not knowing -- I am a planner and I find comfort in it-- and it would help me so much to be able to arrange everything this week around this D&C, assuming they can actually get me in this week. I know I am rambling and probably sound like a bit of a crazy lady but figured if anyone would understand it would be the women on this forum. There are so many things about this situation that I can't control and it would just be nice to be able to take care of the things I should be able to control like rearranging meetings at work and arranging for someone to help us at home with the kids. Did I mention that I think I need to take some deep breaths? Please help me to be patient while I am waiting for the call. I know Monday's are busy in a doctor's office and I am just one of many patients there, but waiting patiently is hard.

[Anonymous]

Waiting is hard. And you don't sound crazy. You sound sad and distracted as you have every right to be.

Can you take the next couple of hours to try and get some work deadline relief? Tell someone who can help what is going on and get a couple things shifted to someone else or eased up on? It's okay to ask for help.

[Anonymous]

Was surprised to have D&C scheduled for late this afternoon. I wanted this, but I'm feeling so anxious and scared and sad. I don't really fully understand the procedure and waiting for a call back from my doc. I mean I understand they dialate my cervic, but how do they dialate it? Do they do it with pitocin or some other drug or just pry it open? Scraping out the contents of my uterus sounds so grusome but I know my doc mentioned suction. Do they ever just use suction? Sounds more gentle. They said the procedure will only take 30 or 40 minutes and that I should be able to go home a couple of hours later. Is that accurate? I know there is anesthesia but am I fully sedated? It makes me nervous that I don't know more about this process. When I talked to my doc I had just found out about the no heartbeat and we didn't go into too many details of the D&C and didn't discuss any of the risks.

[Anonymous]

OP, so terribly sorry for what you're going through.

When I had a D&C last fall for a miscarriage (at GW), I was fully sedated. After they gave me that first dopey-making medicine in my IV, I don't remember a thing other than waking up under a pile of warm blankets with kind nurses caring for me.

To be honest, I don't know exactly what they had to do, and at that point it didn't matter -- I didn't need to know. (Granted, it was a slightly different situation for us -- it was an emergency D&C and we had come into the ER with terrifying bleeding, so we were just grateful that I was safe.) But I might suggest that you try (I know it's hard) not to dwell too much on the details of the procedure -- just know that GW has excellent docs and nurses who are going to take very, very good care of you.

I've done both Cytotec and D&C for pregnancy loss -- and the D&C was by far easier, at least for me.

I really feel for you. Will be thinking of you today and sending many healing thoughts.

[Anonymous]

Thank you for the kind words. Healing thoughts and peace would be nice today. (And some lunch and water too but can't have either they said for 8 hours before.) I am trying to work myself off the ledge -- I say that jokingly meaning I am not actually a danger to myself or anything like that -- but I do feel very emotional and normally I am a very practical person who is able to handle stress. This feels different. There is no "good" outcome except that when it is over I can begin to move on.

[Anonymous]

10:44 again. You're right, there is no "good" outcome here, and it's not surprising that you have a lot of emotion around this -- of course you do. This isn't practical, rational stuff -- it goes to the very core. I wish I knew you IRL so I could come over to your house tonight with a giant tub of ice cream and a bottle of wine and a big hug.

One of the things I was grateful for after the D&C was that once it was over, it was definitively OVER. I knew that every day afterward would get me one tiny step toward healing and feeling better, both physically and emotionally.

You'll need to take really good care of yourself these next few days and weeks, and as much as you can, let others care for you too.

Keeping you in my thoughts.

[Anonymous]

OP - you will get through this. When I had my D&C, I remember them putting the IV in my arm and the anesthesiologist asking me how I felt. Then I woke up - it was done. Recovery physically was a couple of days. Emotionally, well, take your time.

[Anonymous]

Hang in there OP. I'm sorry.

[Anonymous]

Thinking good thoughts for you today, OP. One small suggestion - ask your husband to get/go through the mail for awhile. We got insurance statements and miscellaneous bills relating to my D&C for what felt like months and that was really hard for me - I'd feel like I'd gotten over being sad and then a statement would come in the mail and I'd be weepy all over again.