No heartbeat today ... and now I have to decide how to expell contents of uterus

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry that you are going through this! I had the same dilemma during the last September... and here is what my RE said to me:
Wait for a week and repeat us to make sure it is not viable pregnancy.
.. and if the size is not fitting the pregnancy stage schedule DC ... it is traumatic enough to do it in hospital and under anesthesia; however, to see it happening naturally and still ending up doing the procedure (because it is likely you'll need to make sure that everything is out) - that is horrific.

Also if you RE wants to do biopsy to figure out what went wrong - you definitely want them to do DC.

Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Um, PP, the OP has already made her decision -- she was scheduled for a D&C yesterday afternoon.

OP, have been thinking of you and hope that everything went as smoothly as it possibly could have, and that you are holding up okay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thinking good thoughts for you today, OP. One small suggestion - ask your husband to get/go through the mail for awhile. We got insurance statements and miscellaneous bills relating to my D&C for what felt like months and that was really hard for me - I'd feel like I'd gotten over being sad and then a statement would come in the mail and I'd be weepy all over again.

This is a good suggestion. I was horrified how long it took for me to keep getting statements and misc that were labeled maternity after my miscarriage and they always made me cry.

[Anonymous]

Still thinking about you OP and wishing you a quick physical recovery. Folks are right about the mail too. Let you husband handle that for a long while. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

I had two miscarriages one was spontaneous and with the other I had a scheduled D&C. I am sorry for your loss, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: I wish I knew you IRL so I could come over to your house tonight with a giant tub of ice cream and a bottle of wine and a big hug.

OP here. This made me cry, in a good way. Thank you. I read a post on the general parenting forum today from a woman who was sad about not having a third baby (her DH did not want another one) and quite a few of the ladies on there were downright mean, telling her to get over it and be grateful for what she has. I am so grateful for the kindness and understanding so many of you have shown me in this tread and at other times too. It has truly been a comfort to me. I wish I knew many of you, IRL.

I had the D&C and I'm glad it's over but it was not easy. My OB is a nononsense type of doc and normally I am okay with that. But this time, I clearly needed the hand-holding and maybe she's just not capable, but it made it harder for me. The procedure itself apparently was without problem, but the whole experience of having to go to L&D to do this and then see/hear everything going on as they prepared for the procedure before they put me under was terrifying for me. It probably was no more than 5 or 10 minutes, but it seemed like an eternity. (Do other hospitals make you go to L&D for this?? I was at G'town.) I was thankful for the anesthesiologists, who were both very nice with gentle demeanors. One of them was the only one who spoke to me while the tears rolled down my checks into my ears while I was lying on the operating table thinking please put me out soon. I wonder if they know how something so small -- like just telling me we're going to give you something to relax you, it's going to feel warm in your arm, you're going to be asleep in 20 seconds -- meant so much at that moment. When I woke I was sobbing and confused -- I didn't really understand exactly why I was crying because oddly I didn't feel that sad at the moment -- the crying was an uncontrollable response -- but they explained that it was the anesthesia because it allows your body to relax so much. It didn't last long and I was feeling kind of weak but much better by the time I was discharged. Just some light bleeding and cramping since - nothing big. But the emotional end of it ... I'd like to say let the healing process begin! ... but maybe in a couple days when I am feeling less drained, less hollow, less exhausted, and more like myself. In the meantime, I've had some nice comfort food -- pancakes from the Metro 29 diner are the best and Breyer's Reece's PB cup ice cream is really yummy. My little ones have been extra sweet. We told them I wasn't feeling so great the past couple of days and had a belly ache. Their hugs and kisses are like magic, at least at that moment.

[Anonymous]

Hugs OP. Feel better.