No heartbeat today ... and now I have to decide how to expell contents of uterus

[Anonymous]

Not sure exactly how to explain this feeling. I was shocked but not surprised. Shocked because I have no cramps or other signs of miscarriage. I was spotting a little a few days ago but then it stopped. I was not surprised because I am 43. Docs said it must have just happened because fetus was measuring where they would have expected at this point.

So aside from the feeling like I have been kicked in the stomach, which I will deal with in a little bit, now I have to decide what to do. They explained my options as 1) do nothing and see what happens and that this could take awhile; 2) take meds that will essentially bring on a miscarriage, but this may not work or work or may not work entirely and may have to get D&C anyway; or 3) D&C, but cannot schedule until Tues if I want my own OB to do it. I am not crazy about going under anesthesia so was hesitant to do the D&C but doing nothing and waiting seems crazy too. Got the prescription for the meds but did not pick it up yet because having doubts that this is the way to go. Aside from the anethesia and that I hate the idea of having a procedure done (I got pnemonia at the hospital when I had my last c-section), the D&C seems quick and relatively easy.

Any thoughts from others? I am trying to be practical and not so emotional right now. I work FT and have 2 small children, but a supportive DH and wonder if getting it all over with quickly is the answer. Also, wondered what happens if I start bleeding and cramping before the D&C -- do you still go forward with it?

[Anonymous]

I ended up miscarrying naturally and getting a DC afterwards. In total I carried a dead baby around for nearly 5 weeks. For convenience and peace of mind I would reccomend the DC since it puts you in control of the timing.

[Anonymous]

I would just do the D&C - for me it was a faster way to move on so I could begin mourning and figuring out next steps.

[Anonymous]

I have no advise. Just wanted to say that I am truly sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

That happened to me at 11 weeks. Devastated b/c was IVF baby. The doc said D&C best. It did put an end to things. They have greatly improved the anesthesia used now.

[jindc]

I have no advice, but I am sorry for your loss and I wish you comfort in the coming days.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry for your loss.

How far along are you? Where was your ultrasound performed (RE or OB/gyn) ? From my experience there is a vast difference in quality of equipment between centers.

I only ask this because I know someone on another board was told it was over by her ob/gyn. Her and her husband weren't comfortable with the reading and decided to have a second ultrasound somewhere else before calling it over. Ended up that the first place made a mistake and she in fact had a viable pregnancy. It eventually did end in miscarriage several weeks later.

I don't mean to give false hope but since growth is measuring perfectly, If it were me I'd either want to get a second scan or let it resolve itself naturally (just incase). Although take my response with a grain a salt since I've never gotten an official bfp.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I had one miscarriage before, but did not have to go through this because I was carry twins from an IVF so one day there was only one heartbeat. It was very sad, but I still had one good one and all turned out well. He is 5 YO now and a beautiful boy. I had a second pregnancy 8 months after he was born -- a wonderful surprise -- and we have a 3 YO girl. They are lovely, and I am so grateful, and I feel almost greedy saying that I would have really liked a third ... but I would have really liked a third. The pregnancy was unexpected and we were delighted, although always knew at my age that the liklihood of carrying to term was not very high but still, it's very hard.

[Anonymous]

I'm so sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP, I am so sorry for your loss. Don't beat yourself up for the way you feel. Allow yourself to grieve for this one if that is what you want to do.

I would go for option 2 or 3. I did option 2 at 11 weeks. I took the prescribed medication and it happened within 24 - 48 hours. I was lucky in that the baby passed completely and I didn't need a D&C. Do what you think is the most comfortable for you. A D&C is a more guaranteed option but more invasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure exactly how to explain this feeling. I was shocked but not surprised. Shocked because I have no cramps or other signs of miscarriage. I was spotting a little a few days ago but then it stopped. I was not surprised because I am 43. Docs said it must have just happened because fetus was measuring where they would have expected at this point.

So aside from the feeling like I have been kicked in the stomach, which I will deal with in a little bit, now I have to decide what to do. They explained my options as 1) do nothing and see what happens and that this could take awhile; 2) take meds that will essentially bring on a miscarriage, but this may not work or work or may not work entirely and may have to get D&C anyway; or 3) D&C, but cannot schedule until Tues if I want my own OB to do it. I am not crazy about going under anesthesia so was hesitant to do the D&C but doing nothing and waiting seems crazy too. Got the prescription for the meds but did not pick it up yet because having doubts that this is the way to go. Aside from the anethesia and that I hate the idea of having a procedure done (I got pnemonia at the hospital when I had my last c-section), the D&C seems quick and relatively easy.

Any thoughts from others? I am trying to be practical and not so emotional right now. I work FT and have 2 small children, but a supportive DH and wonder if getting it all over with quickly is the answer. Also, wondered what happens if I start bleeding and cramping before the D&C -- do you still go forward with it?

I'm sorry, OP. When I had a miscarriage I opted for a D&C because of #2 on your list - I needed it to be over and worried I'd wind up needing one even if I opted to try things naturally. I also had one small child and that also made me want to get the physical part of the miscarriage over quickly. The emotional side takes longer...be kind to yourself in the coming weeks and months.

[Anonymous]

Hi Op, I"m sorry. The same thing happened to me a few years ago and I opted for the D&C after reading a lot of threads here and talking to friends. I just wanted it done and it seemed like I could get back to normal and trying again as quickly as possible that way. I believe our cycle is supposed to get back to normal more quickly if you have the D&C, too, which may matter to you if you plan to try again to get pregnant. For what it's worth, I got pregnant again about three months after the D&C and that one stuck.

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry to hear this? Do they know how far along you were when the baby stopped growing? I have had 2 miscarriages and have done one with the meds and one via D&C. For me, the meds were MUCH easier but I imagine the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks, so that may be partly why. I was told to brace for an awful day and given pain meds, have my husband home, etc, but really I just sat on the couch for a day high on Vicodin. You could also do this right now and hopefully be set by the end of the weekend.

The second one we lost at 8 1/2 weeks and opted for D&C. The procedure was fine, but it is still a day in the hospital...2 hours early, anestesia, recovery, ugh. I am not a fan. I also had sharp pains for almost a week after, which I do not think is normal, but wanted to share my experience.

Hoping you get through this hard time as quickly as possible.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for sharing your experiences. They are all helpful. I was measuring at 8 weeks and 3 days today. The ultrasound was at Georgetown, first by a tech and then a second look by a doctor, who also happened to be the dept chair so seems unlikely that there was a mistake. Everyone was so nice to us, which was of course very appreciated.

[Anonymous]

I would vote for the D&C. It seems to be the quickest way to be done with everything and if you chose waiting or medication, there's a pretty decent chance you'd just end up with the D&C anyway. Plus with waiting, you never know where you'll be when you start bleeding, which would stress me out. D&C seems like a really scary procedure to some people, but it's so routine and actually very quick. Recovery isn't bad at all. Take care of yourself-enjoy a glass of wine and hug your kids.