Lean-In Circles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We ALL need better and more affordable child care and not to be penalized for working a flex schedule that accomodates kids and parenting.

I couldn't agree more.

I would totally join a circle with this goal.

We need a catchy name to promote THIS vision!

[Anonymous]

I don't trust Sandberg because she went to the Harvard Business School, whose graduates have offshored and downsized more peole than any organization ever created.

[Anonymous]

"At 25-40 hours a week you can do both career and family. But, anything more the kids will truly suffer. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that it has to be that way. But, kids need nurturing from their mothers and it isn't the same from dads or grandparents. I don't know why, it just is. And I for one hate to have to admit that. "

Stats, please. Otherwise, you are full of shit. It just is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"At 25-40 hours a week you can do both career and family. But, anything more the kids will truly suffer. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that it has to be that way. But, kids need nurturing from their mothers and it isn't the same from dads or grandparents. I don't know why, it just is. And I for one hate to have to admit that. "

Stats, please. Otherwise, you are full of shit. It just is.

NP here. i think it is sad that you need stats to reflect that kids need face time with their parents, and working 45+ hours a week out of the home inhibits that time.

[Anonymous]

I just read the book. I am a working mom, and it really rang true for me.

I think some of the earlier posters here have not read the book, otherwise they would not have said the things they said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To the skeptics, how is Sandberg profiting from the circles? Book sales, ok, but to set up a circle all you have to do is say you did. Why the hate?

In my case, it is because SS comes across as utterly self-satisfied, not to mention that in diagnosing women as the problem she is perpetuating a corporate culture that for the most part continues to stifle real work-life balance for women and men. She should do something that is actually useful instead of starting another bullshit "self-help" enterprise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to say this as an older woman who got married late and only has one child but I really think that Sanberg is full of shit. This is because if you do this "Lean-in" crap and focus on getting yourself ahead despite your "family obstacles", your children and society are going to pay the price for not having a mother around. They will grow up to be sociopaths either mildly or full-on.

You can never spend enough time with your kids if you are working. I am not saying don't work and get ahead but please put your foot down to working 50+ hours at the office just because there is a carrot in front you. Companies are bleeding employees dry and there will always be more indians than chiefs. I think it is a ploy to get more people to work 50 hour weeks.

At 25-40 hours a week you can do both career and family. But, anything more the kids will truly suffer. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that it has to be that way. But, kids need nurturing from their mothers and it isn't the same from dads or grandparents. I don't know why, it just is. And I for one hate to have to admit that.

You're wrong. My DH spends more time with our children because I work 45 to 50 or even 55 hours a week some weeks. It doesn't HAVE to be all mom all the time, especially if you have boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

And why the fuck should only women with "helpful" husbands and "money" for housekeepers and nannies get the high level jobs?

Agreed! I wish we were talking about policy changes as a part of this discussion. Let's hear it for high quality, subsidized child care.

No! No more of my money in taxes to subsidize childcare. I've already spent my $250,000 on childcare. Sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We cannot have it all. I wish we could, but we can't.

Speak for yourself. I can, and do. Two thriving, high achieving, community minded kids (tween and teen), a high paying job I love and a DH who does half and also has a high earning job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that some people are commenting who have not read or heard what Lean In is about. First, no one says you have to work 80 hours/week to be successful or to join a circle with Lean In. In fact that is the exact opposite.
As a full time working mother I have a career which I love and a spouse and child I adore. The spouse steps up - big time- and it helps me to do what I do... and vice versa. What I want to see is more confidence... and I need stories and support from other professional working women to give me some boosts, tips, and the confidence to step up.
Tearing other women down for working hard AND being mothers is the exact opposite of the intent.

I agree completely. So many of my friends left the workforce when they had kids and I've found I just don't know many other working moms--even in the DC area. I'd love to find a group of people to talk about what works to excel in your career while having a family.

I can tell you what works - lower your standards and be ruthless about how you invest your time.

Signed, a mom who has always worked full time, for more than 12 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish the the profits from Lean In went to a charitable organization, rather than to more middle-upper class women.

Why? That's chick thinking. Are you afraid to get rich?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"At 25-40 hours a week you can do both career and family. But, anything more the kids will truly suffer. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that it has to be that way. But, kids need nurturing from their mothers and it isn't the same from dads or grandparents. I don't know why, it just is. And I for one hate to have to admit that. "

Stats, please. Otherwise, you are full of shit. It just is.

NP here. i think it is sad that you need stats to reflect that kids need face time with their parents, and working 45+ hours a week out of the home inhibits that time.

Not necessarily. Do you realize that at some point the kids are gone 32 to 40 hours a week, just between school and the bus rides and not counting extracurricular activities? Are you just thinking of when all kids in the family are younger than 5?

[Anonymous]

Raise your hand if you have worked with Sheryl.

I have. I know her values and personality. Her "Lean-In" philosophy is not supposed to be applied to most women. She only wants it applied to Ivy educated, upper bracket women.

I will not join a "lean-in" circle. We need more institutional support and less finger waging.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am going to say this as an older woman who got married late and only has one child but I really think that Sanberg is full of shit. This is because if you do this "Lean-in" crap and focus on getting yourself ahead despite your "family obstacles", your children and society are going to pay the price for not having a mother around. They will grow up to be sociopaths either mildly or full-on.

You can never spend enough time with your kids if you are working. I am not saying don't work and get ahead but please put your foot down to working 50+ hours at the office just because there is a carrot in front you. Companies are bleeding employees dry and there will always be more indians than chiefs. I think it is a ploy to get more people to work 50 hour weeks.

At 25-40 hours a week you can do both career and family. But, anything more the kids will truly suffer. Don't get me wrong, it sucks that it has to be that way. But, kids need nurturing from their mothers and it isn't the same from dads or grandparents. I don't know why, it just is. And I for one hate to have to admit that.

+10000

And, I will say I'm in nonprofit manager, working fulltime and making $150k so I haven't dropped out. In fact, many people would say I've "leaned in" but I have intentionally drawn the line at 34-40 hours a week. My kids need me.

[Anonymous]

How is "lean in" new? I remeber in the 70's when my mom went back to work (and I became a latch key kid) because she was told she could "have it all."