TTC over 50

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The chances of a young obese woman not being around in 20 years is far greater than that of a healthy, active 50 year old.

I seriously doubt this is true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"SG is not for the old ladies"

Well, I don't consider myself an old lady. I'm not 80 or 90, for chrissakes.

You will be an old lady when your child is in his or her 20's if not already dead. Anyone who has a child so late in life is not thinking about the future of that child at all. They are only thinking of themselves. There are age cutoffs at these clinics for a reason. Having a child in your 50's is absolutely ridiculous.

While I must admit I was extraordinarily lucky because I had the most amazing mother in the world, I also lost her to cancer when I had just turned 16. Even though I always hoped I'd have kids in my early 30s for fear of dying before my kids were grown, I gotta say that what I learned from losing my mom is that even only 16 yrs of having an awesome mom but losing her makes me luckier than a LOT of people I've met during my life who felt traumatized by their mom/parents. Even at my mom's funeral a good friend from high school approached me crying, saying "Why did it have to be your mom? Why couldn't it have been my mom instead? You actually liked your mom!" That stuck with me forever. I'll take my 16 yrs with her because she was amazing.

So now, as much as I hope I'll live a long healthy life and see my kids (who I had in my 40s) grow up into adults, maybe even meet my grand kids, I believe if I'm the best mom I can be while I'm here, they'll be really ok no matter what happens and when it might happen. As long as there is a good solid plan in place for who will care for them. Of course there are no guarantees, but my mom's great mothering stayed with me all my life so I know it's possible to lose a mom before you're in your 40s and still be ok - great, even. But I'm hoping and planning for being around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is not fair to your children to have them so late in life. When your child is in college, you will be in your 70s. As a child of old parents, it is not fair to your child.

Ahh, the truth comes out! You are bitter because you mom/dad did not meet your needs and you blame them and all older parents. Maybe your parents just didn't like you? I certainly can understand why they wouldn't like you.

[Anonymous]

Kind of cold PP but I agree she sounds like a spoiled brat

[Anonymous]

16:04 - original poster of this message. And you are absolutely, 100% wrong. My parents met ALL my needs plus more. My parents were the best parents around. The amount of love they showed me was endless. But I have an 80 year old father who suffered a debilitating stroke. I have watched him go downhill for the past 4 years. I am in my early 30s and have been unable to have a child yet. I pray he makes it to see his grandchild. I also would like him to be around a lot longer but that likely won't happen.

So before you spew your vile hatred and petty judgment on someone's post, why don't you ask them for clarification. You sound completely ignorant and selfish yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:16:04 - original poster of this message. And you are absolutely, 100% wrong. My parents met ALL my needs plus more. My parents were the best parents around. The amount of love they showed me was endless. But I have an 80 year old father who suffered a debilitating stroke. I have watched him go downhill for the past 4 years. I am in my early 30s and have been unable to have a child yet. I pray he makes it to see his grandchild. I also would like him to be around a lot longer but that likely won't happen.

So before you spew your vile hatred and petty judgment on someone's post, why don't you ask them for clarification. You sound completely ignorant and selfish yourself.

You appreciate your parents, yet you tell another, who comes here seeking SUPPORT, not to do it? Who do you think can say they had the "best parents ever"? Maybe their maturity was part of it. And you're bitter that your father may not see his grandchildren so you're telling someone else to not be a wonderful parent, bring a child into this world with security and love, because you're having a hard time with this ONE thing you would change about your parents? You'd trade their wonderful qualities for younger parents, even though you admit they gave you everything? Who they are brought them to become your parents when they did.

Indeed you're a spoiled, ungrateful, and rude brat.

Silence is golden.

If you struggle with infertility into your 40s, I hope you truly, deeply regret your insensitivity.

Even if you don't, doesn't change the fact that you owe your parents more respect and gratitude for all they gave you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:yeah, why shouldn't she try after 50? No good reason why not! It's no different from anyone else who is having trouble conceiving. It's not "natural", right? is that the argument? Well, IVF isn't natural either!!!

I think it's more the fact that OP will be in her early to mid-70's by the time her child graduates from college. Sorry, but that is odd. If you're being mistaken for your child's grandmother (and she will be, I assure you) you might just want to think twice about whether this is a good idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not fair to your children to have them so late in life. When your child is in college, you will be in your 70s. As a child of old parents, it is not fair to your child.

Ahh, the truth comes out! You are bitter because you mom/dad did not meet your needs and you blame them and all older parents. Maybe your parents just didn't like you? I certainly can understand why they wouldn't like you.

Well you're a raging asshole, aren't you? A good friend of mine had parents this old. It was odd. They were much older than everyone else's parents and got mistaken at school events as being her grandparents. When we were in our early 20's dating, establishing careers, and having fun, she was dealing with parents whose health was failing. When we were all getting married in our late 20's/early 30's, she was arranging for assisted living for her parents and selling their home. So yeah, there are some compelling reasons why having parents old enough to be your grandparents is not the best scenario for a child.

Dick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:16:04 - original poster of this message. And you are absolutely, 100% wrong. My parents met ALL my needs plus more. My parents were the best parents around. The amount of love they showed me was endless. But I have an 80 year old father who suffered a debilitating stroke. I have watched him go downhill for the past 4 years. I am in my early 30s and have been unable to have a child yet. I pray he makes it to see his grandchild. I also would like him to be around a lot longer but that likely won't happen.

So before you spew your vile hatred and petty judgment on someone's post, why don't you ask them for clarification. You sound completely ignorant and selfish yourself.

You appreciate your parents, yet you tell another, who comes here seeking SUPPORT, not to do it? Who do you think can say they had the "best parents ever"? Maybe their maturity was part of it. And you're bitter that your father may not see his grandchildren so you're telling someone else to not be a wonderful parent, bring a child into this world with security and love, because you're having a hard time with this ONE thing you would change about your parents? You'd trade their wonderful qualities for younger parents, even though you admit they gave you everything? Who they are brought them to become your parents when they did.

Indeed you're a spoiled, ungrateful, and rude brat.

Silence is golden.

If you struggle with infertility into your 40s, I hope you truly, deeply regret your insensitivity.

Even if you don't, doesn't change the fact that you owe your parents more respect and gratitude for all they gave you.

Get help for that anger problem, okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is OK for men older than 50 to have kids but not women older than 50? If you're worried about the health issues associated with pregnancy, would it be OK with you so long as a surrogate is used for carrying the pregnancy? Are you also against adoption by people over 50?

BTW...I am not over 50, but I am married to a man who is. That makes me AARP eligible but does not make me infertile. We have two lovely children to prove it.

I don't think it's a great idea for men that old to be having children, either. The age of both the parents (and the increased chance of birth defects) are compelling reasons not to go there.

If you are going to spend $$$$$ trying to become a parent, why not adopt?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not fair to your children to have them so late in life. When your child is in college, you will be in your 70s. As a child of old parents, it is not fair to your child.

Ahh, the truth comes out! You are bitter because you mom/dad did not meet your needs and you blame them and all older parents. Maybe your parents just didn't like you? I certainly can understand why they wouldn't like you.

Well you're a raging asshole, aren't you? A good friend of mine had parents this old. It was odd. They were much older than everyone else's parents and got mistaken at school events as being her grandparents. When we were in our early 20's dating, establishing careers, and having fun, she was dealing with parents whose health was failing. When we were all getting married in our late 20's/early 30's, she was arranging for assisted living for her parents and selling their home. So yeah, there are some compelling reasons why having parents old enough to be your grandparents is not the best scenario for a child.

Dick.

There are lots of people in their 40s becoming parents. Some even got pregnant the old fashioned way (gasp). Its not as "odd" as you make it out ot be.

[Anonymous]

Wow the person coming on here calling someone a rude, spoiled brat - I hope you are not trying to become a parent. From the sounds of it, you don't need to have children. That person is trying to tell you how it is harder to have older parents - hard on the children AND the parents. That is her personal experience. Get a life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is not fair to your children to have them so late in life. When your child is in college, you will be in your 70s. As a child of old parents, it is not fair to your child.

Ahh, the truth comes out! You are bitter because you mom/dad did not meet your needs and you blame them and all older parents. Maybe your parents just didn't like you? I certainly can understand why they wouldn't like you.

Well you're a raging asshole, aren't you? A good friend of mine had parents this old. It was odd. They were much older than everyone else's parents and got mistaken at school events as being her grandparents. When we were in our early 20's dating, establishing careers, and having fun, she was dealing with parents whose health was failing. When we were all getting married in our late 20's/early 30's, she was arranging for assisted living for her parents and selling their home. So yeah, there are some compelling reasons why having parents old enough to be your grandparents is not the best scenario for a child.

Dick.

There are lots of people in their 40s becoming parents. Some even got pregnant the old fashioned way (gasp). Its not as "odd" as you make it out ot be.

Give me a break. I am 35, TTC#2. I may very well have a third and I would likely be pushing 40 at that point. There is a big difference in terms of overall and reproductive health between 40 or 42 and 50 or 52, and you damned well know it. Likewise there is a big difference between 62 and 72, as anyone whose parents are getting older, or who has watched their grandparents decline - knows full well. Stop being so simplistic already.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow the person coming on here calling someone a rude, spoiled brat - I hope you are not trying to become a parent. From the sounds of it, you don't need to have children. That person is trying to tell you how it is harder to have older parents - hard on the children AND the parents. That is her personal experience. Get a life!

+1 Presumably if OP cares at all about her potential future children, then that reality is not something she will just ignore. She absolutely should think about it very seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow the person coming on here calling someone a rude, spoiled brat - I hope you are not trying to become a parent. From the sounds of it, you don't need to have children. That person is trying to tell you how it is harder to have older parents - hard on the children AND the parents. That is her personal experience. Get a life!

And she expresses herself so eloquently!