s/o Brazilian au-pair and the whole hot nanny subject

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We just raise our own kids. Nonexistent issue here.

Nah, your DH is banging one of his interesting (and grape-jelly free) colleagues instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see the risk of having my husband alone with a 50 year old woman for more than a few minutes.

Well, I am going to bet that about 100% of women whose homes were broken with a generous help from household workers did not see any risk in hiring them.

Of course they didn't, but perhaps that's because they didn't want to face up to the fact that something was already wrong with their marriages.

Please - do you really believe that? That "cheating is a symptom"? You are exactly the type of arrogant "trusting" woman that just cannot comprehend that her husband would want to sleep with someone else, no matter the circumstance. But life will teach you a lesson, like so many before you (there is like a list of famous actresses who lost her husbands to nannies...)

Of course cheating is a symptom! You really think that a person just cheats if everything is lovely and wonderful in their marriage? I'm not arrogant at all, and I do believe my husband - like nearly every man - would want to sleep with someone else. HOWEVER, I also believe that my husband isn't going to act on that desire, even though I know he has been presented with the opportunity before. We have been in the situation before, so I'm not naive about it at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously! This is what we should be worrying about - our husbands being stolen away by the nanny? Come on.

To the contrary - you hire help in such form so that you don't need to worry about it.

But I trust my husband and my nanny - so I don't worry about it regardless of how hot she is.

That's kind of arrogant, but to each its own. Btw, my bet is, the dead mom from the original topic didn't worry either.

Good grief. That poor woman probably had more important things to worry about, like the fact that she was dying of cancer.

Both the nanny and the DH probably deserve each other. I think that's special kind of despicable, to cheat on someone in their own home as they're dying. I hope it comes around for them. Just horrid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We just raise our own kids. Nonexistent issue here.

Nah, your DH is banging one of his interesting (and grape-jelly free) colleagues instead.

It's not only about banging... When one's husband spends a lot of time, day after day, with some other woman, no matter what capacity, relationship will develop. People click, laugh together, solve problems, fall in love... Many men who cheat with service workers do in fact marry them. So it's not necessarily just sex as you in your endless arrogance assume.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see the risk of having my husband alone with a 50 year old woman for more than a few minutes.

Well, I am going to bet that about 100% of women whose homes were broken with a generous help from household workers did not see any risk in hiring them.

Of course they didn't, but perhaps that's because they didn't want to face up to the fact that something was already wrong with their marriages.

Please - do you really believe that? That "cheating is a symptom"? You are exactly the type of arrogant "trusting" woman that just cannot comprehend that her husband would want to sleep with someone else, no matter the circumstance. But life will teach you a lesson, like so many before you (there is like a list of famous actresses who lost her husbands to nannies...)

Of course cheating is a symptom! You really think that a person just cheats if everything is lovely and wonderful in their marriage? I'm not arrogant at all, and I do believe my husband - like nearly every man - would want to sleep with someone else. HOWEVER, I also believe that my husband isn't going to act on that desire, even though I know he has been presented with the opportunity before. We have been in the situation before, so I'm not naive about it at all.

Yes, absolutely. I believe that someone can have a wonderful marriage and end up being cheated on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seriously! This is what we should be worrying about - our husbands being stolen away by the nanny? Come on.

To the contrary - you hire help in such form so that you don't need to worry about it.

But I trust my husband and my nanny - so I don't worry about it regardless of how hot she is.

That's kind of arrogant, but to each its own. Btw, my bet is, the dead mom from the original topic didn't worry either.

Good grief. That poor woman probably had more important things to worry about, like the fact that she was dying of cancer.

Both the nanny and the DH probably deserve each other. I think that's special kind of despicable, to cheat on someone in their own home as they're dying. I hope it comes around for them. Just horrid.

What? So, though she was lying in bed all day, she didn't have time to bother thinking about being cheated on? I know several people who died of cancer, and trust me, they still worry about the "little things", like how they look or, you know, whether their husbands are sleeping with household help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't see the risk of having my husband alone with a 50 year old woman for more than a few minutes.

Well, I am going to bet that about 100% of women whose homes were broken with a generous help from household workers did not see any risk in hiring them.

Of course they didn't, but perhaps that's because they didn't want to face up to the fact that something was already wrong with their marriages.

Please - do you really believe that? That "cheating is a symptom"? You are exactly the type of arrogant "trusting" woman that just cannot comprehend that her husband would want to sleep with someone else, no matter the circumstance. But life will teach you a lesson, like so many before you (there is like a list of famous actresses who lost her husbands to nannies...)

Of course cheating is a symptom! You really think that a person just cheats if everything is lovely and wonderful in their marriage? I'm not arrogant at all, and I do believe my husband - like nearly every man - would want to sleep with someone else. HOWEVER, I also believe that my husband isn't going to act on that desire, even though I know he has been presented with the opportunity before. We have been in the situation before, so I'm not naive about it at all.

It doesn't work like that. Not all young hot women are interchangeable. The person and the circumstances would be different.

Doesn't mean of course any of that will happen to you. But the point here is, why even risk it? That's what I don't get. And if it happens, it would make it million time worse to know that I was the one who helped bring them together.

[Anonymous]

While I was in grad school at AU, I used to babysit regularly for a family in Bethesda, just over the DC line. Three children. Used to help in the evening with dinner and bath time. The money was good... $15 an hour for three hours, 4 times a week. The father was a lawyer and would get home around 7:00. Totally disengaged with the whole evening process, but thought he could ask me to mix his drinks and that he could press his boner against me while I stood at the counter. Mom was oblivious it seemed. I really needed the money, but couldn't take it any more. I was outta there. He was a colossal ass. I could post his name here and I bet many of you would know him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It doesn't work like that. Not all young hot women are interchangeable. The person and the circumstances would be different.

Doesn't mean of course any of that will happen to you. But the point here is, why even risk it? That's what I don't get. And if it happens, it would make it million time worse to know that I was the one who helped bring them together.

Of course each situation is different. But my point is - I'm not worried about 'hot young women'. I'm worried about my husband forming a relationship with someone that would make it likely he would cheat. And to me, it's more about boundaries and knowing your marriage than it is about 'hot young women'. I don't care about hot young women any more than I do about the women he meets at work who he sees for 8 hours a day, every day. THAT is much more troubling to me than a 24 year old nanny. He is likely to have a lot more in common with the women at work and much more likely to form a relationship with one of them than with a 24 year old airhead (and no, I don't think all 24-year-olds or all nannies are airheads, but that is the term someone else used earlier).

[Anonymous]

18:48 - what background are you? What a cad. You did the right thing. Would you really want to be with someone like that? That is the sad part, that these women would actually be with someone like that. Yuck! They can have them!

[Anonymous]

Oh puhlease..I'm a nanny. I'm not saying I'm hot per say, but I'm certainly not ugly. I'm 5'2 skinny and fit, long dirty blonde hair and attractive. I've had DB's hit on me, but nobody's been totally disrespectful. I certainly wouldn't want to hire a foreign nanny due to issues with green cards, but educated American women..sure why not? I'm happily married and respectful. That's key. I wouldn't want to hire a young bimbo to take care of my kids anyway, let alone tempt my husband. An attractive married lady? Why not?

Btw--I've never had a hard time getting a nanny job due to being attractive. Most seem to dig it. Generally I deal mostly with MB anyway except for my current position where I deal with attractive DB for the most part..but I'm secure in my marriage as I'm sure he is too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:18:48 - what background are you? What a cad. You did the right thing. Would you really want to be with someone like that? That is the sad part, that these women would actually be with someone like that. Yuck! They can have them!

I'm a blonde, blue eyed WASP. He was waspy too. She was as well. Nantucket reds and all that. She actually asked me to go to their beach house with them for a few weeks to take care of the kids, all expenses paid. I had to decline. I was about 25 at the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It doesn't work like that. Not all young hot women are interchangeable. The person and the circumstances would be different.

Doesn't mean of course any of that will happen to you. But the point here is, why even risk it? That's what I don't get. And if it happens, it would make it million time worse to know that I was the one who helped bring them together.

Of course each situation is different. But my point is - I'm not worried about 'hot young women'. I'm worried about my husband forming a relationship with someone that would make it likely he would cheat. And to me, it's more about boundaries and knowing your marriage than it is about 'hot young women'. I don't care about hot young women any more than I do about the women he meets at work who he sees for 8 hours a day, every day. THAT is much more troubling to me than a 24 year old nanny. He is likely to have a lot more in common with the women at work and much more likely to form a relationship with one of them than with a 24 year old airhead (and no, I don't think all 24-year-olds or all nannies are airheads, but that is the term someone else used earlier).

By introducing a nanny (or worse, au pair) you are helping him form a relationship. You never know what they could share - she might have a great sense of humor, or similar family or love of the same sport...Also, he is observing her in a role close to that of a potential wife - living in his home, raising his kids...

But the point here is not that nannies pose most threat to married women but that they are the ones you can pick (or choose not to have). I agree that coworkers could be more of a threat, but those things are to a large extent outside of your control. Household help isn't.

[Anonymous]

What happened to that threat anyway? Did it get deleted?

[Anonymous]

thread, no threat, haha