friend hurt my feelings with facebook post

[Anonymous]

OP, I would not talk to her about and like most people said, just let it go and move on. This person is not your best friend and was stating an opinion. She has a right to do so and you can hide her if you want to.

You need to just feel comfortable doing what you think it right for you, your child and your family. People will always have their opinions.

[Anonymous]

Just defriend. If she ask why , "Your post upsets me." Why do you care about making her comfortable is a social setting. She does not care about you or anyone else. Pick your friends and spend your time with them. The people you don't like, f them. Life is toooooooo short. Do you see your husband worrying about being friends with someone he does not like?

[Anonymous]

Oh Honey, this is the first of many times this is going to happen as your child grows. And while your perception is this is a direct attack against you, it isn't. This is her opinion and she views everyone who does this in the same boat. Every family is different and every family makes choices which are best for them. We all have a tendency to judge others without thinking. Keep this in mind the next time you don't agree with how someone is raising their child (and believe me, there will be lots of opportunities).

Defriend her if you want, but personally I would just hide her posts and walk away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It was along the lines of "if you feed your child formula, you are poisoning him." That is not the exact issue, but it's an equivalent. It isn't a parenting style like attachment parenting or not. It is basically calling me irresponsible as a parent for making a different choice. (And it's not actually formula / breastfeeding, that is just an equivalent). Another equivalent would be natural birth / epidural. She basically came down hard on one side of the equation, which fine, she is entitled to her opinion, but she said basically "anyone who does X is just irresponsible and not putting their child's health first." So, since I happened to do X, I feel like pointing out that maybe she should not be so judgmental. Talking this over more with DH (yes, I know, shouldn't let this get to me so much) I guess it is possible she doesn't know we did what she's warning against, but I also think she is the type to say it fully aware that she's offending people and just not caring. I think that's my main problem. I woudn't care if it was just an opinion, but she was SO judgmental about it.

There are several people who are arguing with her now and I think one of her friends is about to unfriend her so it's not just me feeling offended. But I'm basically over it, and her. I've unfriended her on FB and if she ever notices and asks me why, I'll tell her. Not so sure how our in-person interactions will be in the future. As few and far between as possible, with any luck.

OP, both of the "examples" you mentioned are extremely personal decisions. It is kind of like when Gisele (Tom Brady's wife) said that breastfeeding should be mandatory. It is clear that this woman is ignorant. If breastfeeding was easy for everyone, everyone would do it. But the reality is that women face many challenges and have the needs of themselves and other family members to consider. What about women who must work 12 hours a day in a minimum wage job environment that is not conducive to pumping?

This woman is ignorant, both for making blanket judgement statements about others' personal decisions, and also for posting it on facebook.

[Anonymous]

Would you rather know how she felt on the subject or had her quietly keeping it to herself? If you discuss your parenting style with her atleast you know how she feels unlike the others who quietly judge you behind you back.

[Anonymous]

i have now scoured all the links posted by my facebook friends to see if there is anything controversial about parenting that i could become offended about - trying to figure out if i know you in a six-degree-of-separation kind of way. the only thing i found was an article i posted from huffpost about working moms and how their children do better than expected. i guess i have sahm friends who might find that controversial. or not. i certiainly didn't post it intending it to be a dig at those people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, she didn't mention you in her post, did she?

And if she just rambled on how, say, attachment parenting is wrong, well, it's her right. I don't think anyone was taking a stab at you, personally. People say all kinds of things at Facebook, if you don't like stuff they post, just hide them. That's what I did when someone I know started getting overly political.

Agree. I have AP friends that post really mean stuff about formula feeding and whatnot. I've even gotten into a spat but it never affected our relationship in real life. I am still a non-AP parent, with friends that are AP parents. We learn from each other. It's fine. Just because someone thinks AP is ridiculous doesn't mean they hate you.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, OP, stop being so damn sensitive. If your wittle feelings are THAT hurt, just defriend, ok?

As others have stated, in life there are going to be people with differing opinions to yours, and that is absolutely okay. She was not directing anything AT YOU.

[Anonymous]

its facebook. unless they called you out specifically, get over it.

i dont get people getting all emotional over shit posted on facebook. whether its political or personal, defriend the mother fucker and move on. you can also block it so you dont see what they post on their timeline if you are too afraid to defreind them.

and ive only read your original post so maybe you gave more info by now but look 1) you admit its not your close friend and 2) you say they didnt aim it at you directly.

those to points by themselves indicate how you shouldnt give two shits about this. fuck em. let it go. keep it moving.

im a guy so obviously i dont get all wrapped up in this bullshit or care what i or anyone else posts. you should do the same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It was along the lines of "if you feed your child formula, you are poisoning him." That is not the exact issue, but it's an equivalent. It isn't a parenting style like attachment parenting or not. It is basically calling me irresponsible as a parent for making a different choice. (And it's not actually formula / breastfeeding, that is just an equivalent). Another equivalent would be natural birth / epidural. She basically came down hard on one side of the equation, which fine, she is entitled to her opinion, but she said basically "anyone who does X is just irresponsible and not putting their child's health first." So, since I happened to do X, I feel like pointing out that maybe she should not be so judgmental. Talking this over more with DH (yes, I know, shouldn't let this get to me so much) I guess it is possible she doesn't know we did what she's warning against, but I also think she is the type to say it fully aware that she's offending people and just not caring. I think that's my main problem. I woudn't care if it was just an opinion, but she was SO judgmental about it.

There are several people who are arguing with her now and I think one of her friends is about to unfriend her so it's not just me feeling offended. But I'm basically over it, and her. I've unfriended her on FB and if she ever notices and asks me why, I'll tell her. Not so sure how our in-person interactions will be in the future. As few and far between as possible, with any luck.

its PP. you seriously need to get over the shit.

look, you made a choice you felt was best for your child. fuck everyone who thinks otherwise. my wife and i choose to do certain things as well and while we dont pass judgement on people who did the opposite, we dont give a flying fuck about those who sit around yapping their gums loud about thinking our choices were suspect.

get some damn confidence and "man" the fuck up. if you are happy with your decision, be firm about it. stop being a 5 year old wanting to cry and bitch cause someone decided to SUPPOSEDLY be against the way you go about doing things with your child. i mean are you an alien? is this your first time on earth cause folks dont agree with you on this planet. its human nature. its up to you to get a damn spine and stop wanting to cry about it everytime somebody wants to say shit against your position

[Anonymous]

OP here. No it is not about vaccines! Look, here it is since people are now thinking maybe they offended their own friends. She's in DC so could read this, but I guess, I don't really care obviously.

She posted a link about a babies dying in childbirth. And wrote: "if you have a natural birth, especially out-of-hospital, and your baby dies, it is YOUR fault. You basically killed your baby or caused whatever problems it has. Have fun living with that just because you wanted it to be all about you. Selfish"

We had a midwife attended birth at a birthing center with a hospital back up / transfer option in case things went wrong, which they didn't. We are very confident about the decision and it's NOT that I can't handle conversation about it or even criticism. I asked what I thought was a valid question about how to handle in real life the fact that I was offended by something someone said on person.

Whether or not she was aiming this at me? I don't know. I know she knows where we had our daughter because she asked me if I liked my OB / hospital and I replied that we had DD in a birthing center and she didn't really say anything.

I personally think there are rude people who are rude again and again because nobody ever calls them out on it! Her friend who confronted her on her facebook page made her look really stupid, so maybe that will make her think twice before posting something so harsh again. Especially something she doesn't really understand. It's fine to just say you don't agree with something, but don't sit there and say you're at fault for a baby's death for any type of natural birth! Besides rude, that's crazy! Anyway, over it, and thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It was along the lines of "if you feed your child formula, you are poisoning him." That is not the exact issue, but it's an equivalent. It isn't a parenting style like attachment parenting or not. It is basically calling me irresponsible as a parent for making a different choice. (And it's not actually formula / breastfeeding, that is just an equivalent). Another equivalent would be natural birth / epidural. She basically came down hard on one side of the equation, which fine, she is entitled to her opinion, but she said basically "anyone who does X is just irresponsible and not putting their child's health first." So, since I happened to do X, I feel like pointing out that maybe she should not be so judgmental. Talking this over more with DH (yes, I know, shouldn't let this get to me so much) I guess it is possible she doesn't know we did what she's warning against, but I also think she is the type to say it fully aware that she's offending people and just not caring. I think that's my main problem. I woudn't care if it was just an opinion, but she was SO judgmental about it.

There are several people who are arguing with her now and I think one of her friends is about to unfriend her so it's not just me feeling offended. But I'm basically over it, and her. I've unfriended her on FB and if she ever notices and asks me why, I'll tell her. Not so sure how our in-person interactions will be in the future. As few and far between as possible, with any luck.

its PP. you seriously need to get over the shit.

look, you made a choice you felt was best for your child. fuck everyone who thinks otherwise. my wife and i choose to do certain things as well and while we dont pass judgement on people who did the opposite, we dont give a flying fuck about those who sit around yapping their gums loud about thinking our choices were suspect.

get some damn confidence and "man" the fuck up. if you are happy with your decision, be firm about it. stop being a 5 year old wanting to cry and bitch cause someone decided to SUPPOSEDLY be against the way you go about doing things with your child. i mean are you an alien? is this your first time on earth cause folks dont agree with you on this planet. its human nature. its up to you to get a damn spine and stop wanting to cry about it everytime somebody wants to say shit against your position

OP here, just wanted to say you seem really nice! Like a warm, kind individual who enjoys helping others and is kind when possible. Have a great day filled with sunshine.

[Anonymous]

OP, people have opinions and you might not agree with them. People post their opinions on FB all the time. It's not always about you. I suggest that you dump FB and focus on your child. Obviously, the online world isn't for you because you can't control everyone's posts or opinions.

btw, how do you function on DCUM? Everybody posts opinions here. Do you always feel defensive?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, OP, with that issue, that probably has nothing to do with you. I daresay she's not even including birthing centers in that statement, but is thinking along the lines of people who give birth at home- which a lot of people just don't get. Seriously, I 100% doubt she was sitting there going "You know, that neighbor who had a midwife is just wrong. I'm going to make a post about how natural childbirth that results in the death of the child upsets me just to piss her off."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, people have opinions and you might not agree with them. People post their opinions on FB all the time. It's not always about you. I suggest that you dump FB and focus on your child. Obviously, the online world isn't for you because you can't control everyone's posts or opinions.

btw, how do you function on DCUM? Everybody posts opinions here. Do you always feel defensive?

No, I don't, because I dont know or interact with you and I don't have to decide whether or not to address something rude you've said in person.

I wasn't "crying" over this or sent into hysterics over it. It was rude, I unfriended, and now I'm over that post, though I don't like the poster. You're kind of an asshole, telling me to focus on my child, but it doesn't upset me because as far as I know you are just some sad individual on the internet making herself feel better by being snarky to a stranger. That makes me feel sorry for you more than anything else. But the women I was discussing is a real life person who I see just about every day, and since I'm annoyed with what she wrote, I may find it hard to disguise that when I next see her, which will probably be today or tomorrow. Odd that people find that so irritating or childish, but maybe something I wrote originally gave that air. Whatever. This thread has outlived its utility for me now that I've decided what to do. AGain, thanks to the helpful people. To the cranks, I'm glad I've given you something to do today.