How I thought it'd be...and how it is: the disillusionment of new motherhood

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I plugged my breast pump into a foreign outlet and it exploded

OMG i would have freaked...

Yeah, it's not at all like I expected. I have compromised on things that I SWORE would be off limits. DD now watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (she's 17 mos) while DH is showering. At her little friends' birthday parties she is absolutely allowed to have (non-organic! oh no!) cake and ice cream. Oh freakin' well. She is happy, healthy, and not a complete terror. So I sleep well at night.

On the plus side, I get more sleep than I expected, have more fun than I expected, and it got easier FASTER than I expected. And we consigned the swing as soon as possible (which I also swore we would not have).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think I had pretty realistic expectations of the infant stage, in that I thought it would suck and wasn't surprised when it did. My disillusionment came with the toddler stage. I was one of those, "TV is bad, why would you let them watch TV" bitchers. My daughter loves Disney Jr. I said, "Disney crap is tacky. I will not have that tacky crap in my home. I will never go to Disneyworld." Now she's 3 and... I think she'd love Disneyworld and I want to take her one day! Also swore I'd never step foot in a Chuck E Cheese... took her to one a couple months ago. When she became a "kid" and not an infant I realized that she was her own person, and liked her own things, and making her happy and letting her have a kid-like childhood was way more important than my preconceived notions about how tacky or ugly or gross Disney is.

I love what you described- so honest and respectful of the fact that these babies become their own person!

[Anonymous]

OP here. May I just say, you guys are AWESOME. These are some of the best, funniest, most supportive stories I've read on here. Boobs bigger than your baby's head...friends coming over with swings and boxes of batteries...visions of magazine-reading afternoons on the deck gone awry...thank you. Thanks for helping me feel normal, less alone, and most of all for a good damn belly laugh. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go mix up some formula and crank up my giant swing. Wishing sweet dreams (and 4 hours stretches of sleep) to all the rockin' DCUM's out there tonight.

[Anonymous]

I remember during the last month of my pregnancy I bought a bunch of books to read while on my maternity leave.

My mother asked me when I was going to read them, "when the baby is sleeping"

Three years later, we still laugh at that (and I have only read two of the books, sigh).

[Anonymous]

Ah, OP, you're a rock star. I have 3 munchkins, had three horrific ( zofran pump, premature labor, bedrest ) pregnancies and had all of these grand visions of how my perfect little family would be. BFing for at least 12 months, making all my own baby food, no formula. WHATEVER! I am happy I have three beautiful little beings! My five year old is a drama QUEEN, 3 year old DS is a beautiful tantrum prone crazy man and the 20 month old is a clingy, mama crazed lady. I put on the tv to gain some sanity, regularly reward them with chocolate for NO GOOD reason and collapse on the couch every night with two glasses of wine ( big glasses ). RELAX. Your baby is healthy, get some sleep and hug that beautiful babe. It goes so fast.. and yes, the compromises get so much bigger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I remember during the last month of my pregnancy I bought a bunch of books to read while on my maternity leave.

My mother asked me when I was going to read them, "when the baby is sleeping"

Three years later, we still laugh at that (and I have only read two of the books, sigh).

My plans for my maternity leave were:

organize hundreds of pictures, print them and put them in photo albums
scrapbooking atleast twice a week
read 2 to 3 books a month

basically, I was going to catch up on all the tasks I didn't have time for, and yes I too was going to do all of this while the baby slept.....HAHAHAHAH!!!

[Anonymous]

Oh OP, I have SO been here!!!! I basically wound up half assing everything (co sleeping, wearing, bf-ing, no tv, all organics) when I wanted to use my whole ass. And my child is WONDERFULLY fine for it. I do a lot more fretting about this bs than everyone else will.

And, on top of all these expectations, I'm the breadwinner and have a demanding career.

It's not the general "are you mom enough?" - I read that time magazine article and thought it's "are you mom enough for your child" and I think every one of us has had the ask this question and, for the most part, the answer is yes. Sure you screw up, everyone does. Then, you pick back up and keep going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember during the last month of my pregnancy I bought a bunch of books to read while on my maternity leave.

My mother asked me when I was going to read them, "when the baby is sleeping"

Three years later, we still laugh at that (and I have only read two of the books, sigh).

My plans for my maternity leave were:

organize hundreds of pictures, print them and put them in photo albums
scrapbooking atleast twice a week
read 2 to 3 books a month

basically, I was going to catch up on all the tasks I didn't have time for, and yes I too was going to do all of this while the baby slept.....HAHAHAHAH!!!

LOL! Me too! I was always going to keep up with DC's baby book too. 3 kids later - I think I have 3 empty baby books and a hard drive full of trapped photos.

[Anonymous]

I bought a book at a garage sale- " I was a good mother until I beCame one." So funny- now if I can find it in my jungle home.

[Anonymous]

Let's see:

We were going to make all our own baby purees- I'm not sure that happened even once.

I would exclusively breastfeed- no, to at least direct nursing. Ended up exclusively pumping so he got all breastmilk until 15 months.

Our daughter would NOT fall prey to Elmo or Disney princesses- guess who used to be the biggest Elmo fan and now is a huge princess fan? She doesn't even watch TV or movies and the marketing still got her.

[Anonymous]

I remember when I was about a week out from giving birth, my MIL and SIL asked me what all I still needed to get. It was all KINDS of stuff... baby bath tub was one thing I definitely remember. They said, "Well, do you want us to take you shopping so you can get that stuff before the baby comes?" and I said, "No, I think I'll just do it once I bring her home from the hospital." BWAHAHAHA. They literally laughed in my face and made me go shopping that day. So glad. I had no idea what I thought the first few days at home would be like, but evidently I thought they'd be calm and normal enough to endure a shopping trip to Target for vital supplies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember during the last month of my pregnancy I bought a bunch of books to read while on my maternity leave.

My mother asked me when I was going to read them, "when the baby is sleeping"

Three years later, we still laugh at that (and I have only read two of the books, sigh).

My plans for my maternity leave were:

organize hundreds of pictures, print them and put them in photo albums
scrapbooking atleast twice a week
read 2 to 3 books a month

basically, I was going to catch up on all the tasks I didn't have time for, and yes I too was going to do all of this while the baby slept.....HAHAHAHAH!!!

LOL! Me too! I was always going to keep up with DC's baby book too. 3 kids later - I think I have 3 empty baby books and a hard drive full of trapped photos.

Yup, two kids with the empty baby books, about a thousand pictures that live nowhere but our computer and shutterfly, and two big boxes full of scrapbooking supplies. My husband loves to talk about my scrapbooking hobby that never came to fruition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's see:

We were going to make all our own baby purees- I'm not sure that happened even once.

I would exclusively breastfeed- no, to at least direct nursing. Ended up exclusively pumping so he got all breastmilk until 15 months.

Our daughter would NOT fall prey to Elmo or Disney princesses- guess who used to be the biggest Elmo fan and now is a huge princess fan? She doesn't even watch TV or movies and the marketing still got her.

Yup, I was so anti-Elmo and Disney and while we have not yet introduced TV, my almost two year old already LOVES Elmo! Wait until he sees him on TV!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember during the last month of my pregnancy I bought a bunch of books to read while on my maternity leave.

My mother asked me when I was going to read them, "when the baby is sleeping"

Three years later, we still laugh at that (and I have only read two of the books, sigh).

My plans for my maternity leave were:

organize hundreds of pictures, print them and put them in photo albums
scrapbooking atleast twice a week
read 2 to 3 books a month

basically, I was going to catch up on all the tasks I didn't have time for, and yes I too was going to do all of this while the baby slept.....HAHAHAHAH!!!

LOL! Me too! I was always going to keep up with DC's baby book too. 3 kids later - I think I have 3 empty baby books and a hard drive full of trapped photos.

Another wannabe scrapbooker here! I still have the supllies I was going to use on our wedding scrapbook. I was married 12 years ago! WHat made me think I would actually do that for my kids? HA HA HA

Yup, two kids with the empty baby books, about a thousand pictures that live nowhere but our computer and shutterfly, and two big boxes full of scrapbooking supplies. My husband loves to talk about my scrapbooking hobby that never came to fruition.

[Anonymous]

We used to subscribe to all kinds of magazines, but after about 3 weeks of mat leave, it was "Sayonara, New Yorker." That freakin' thing comes every week!

Oh, and I was absolutely going to potty train as early as possible. Because it's just SO easy to control someone else's bladder.