How I thought it'd be...and how it is: the disillusionment of new motherhood
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Anonymous
| Wait until they are 4 - the back talk is here in full force and the 2 year old tantrums haven't gotten better. |
Anonymous
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Read this book:
http://www.amazon.com/Mothering-New-Mother-Feelings-Childbirth/dp/1557043175/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1340932859&sr=8-2&keywords=mothering+the+mother It was so helpful to me when I was feeling like you! |
Anonymous
It sounds like your baby is lucky to have you for a mother 
I mean that sincerely. |
Anonymous
| Op, organic means natural and not contrived. Sometimes the big stroller is more natural than taking four hours to get the f$&@@ sling on. You're doing great. |
Anonymous
Ha ha ha. This. I also thought I'd have that serene moments that they show in films, with mom and baby serenely snuggling in a rocking chair, and it's so calm and peaceful! Ha ha ha. It was like running one sprint after another in 3 hour cycles with no sleep for months.... |
Anonymous
Agreed. "Sippy Cups are not for Chardonnay" was the best present I ever received after I had my first. If everyone hasn't read it they should... The moment the second line on the pee stick turns pink, women discover they've entered a world of parenting experts. Friends, family, colleagues, the UPS delivery guy -- suddenly everybody is a trove of advice, much of it contradictory and confusing. With dire warnings of what will happen if baby is fed on demand and even direr warnings of what will happen if he isn't, not to mention hordes of militant "lactivists," cosleeping advocates, and books on what to worry about next, modern parenthood can seem like a minefield. In busy Mom-friendly short essays, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay delivers the empathetic straight dirt on parenting, tackling everything from Mommy & Me classes ("Your baby doesn't need to be making friends at three months old -- you do! But not with people you'll meet at Mommy & Me") to attachment parenting ("If you're holding your baby 24/7, that's not a baby, that's a tumor"). Stefanie Wilder-Taylor combines practical tips with sidesplitting humor and refreshing honesty, assuring women that they can be good mothers and responsibly make their own choices. A witty and welcome antidote to trendy parenting texts and scarifying case studies, Sippy Cups Are Not for Chardonnay provides genuine support, encouragement, and indispensable common-sense advice. |
Anonymous
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OP, I feel you. My son is ten and I still have no idea what I'm doing. Lol.
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Anonymous
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Hilarious! Of course things are different now. I can laugh at myself too though I never thought I would do the attachment parenting thing anyway. But I definitely let things slide that I never thought I would/did not in the beginning.
We have one stroller and though it is not small, it works for us and we use it a ton (BOB). Others have provided SO much advice and yes, even plenty of folks without children. I just laugh now. I've also stopped beating myself up over things we are not doing - tons of playdates, tons of activities, etc. At 16 mo my child enjoys playing alone or with others. We read, we play, we walk, we try new things and things seem to be pretty ok. Do I feel guilty at times? Sure but techinically parenting isn't a competition (really, it's not). My husband keeps me a bit grounded when I get a little out of control. Here are a few of mine: Figured I'd be back running after the 6 week mark and would run a few races in late spring. At 16 mo it is only now that I am running regularly again. Thought I would BF exclusively for 1 year and do the baby led feeding. I did BF exclusively for about 7 months then had to supplement. A few months later I was so f-ing sick of pumping I just stopped and did AM/PM nursing. As for food...my baby had first solid at 6.5 months but it took 4 more to get her to really eat much. Now she eats everything! Oh and never thought I would nurse past a year since that is weird. Well...here I am. Thought my child would be walking and talking by age 1. We got one down and continue to work on the walking...and continue to feel horrible when other mothers make comments like oh, she will at some point. Or your lucky - it gets hard when they are mobile. Annoying! Never thought I would worry about crying. She cries and at night sometimes cries when I walk out...but I still sit on the stairs until she stops. It only takes about a minute and she's asleep. Now, if cheerios fall on the floor and the dog comes by - they can fight over them. I don't care. We'll wash hands later. I could go on as I am sure we always will but it's been interesting. |
Anonymous
| tee hee, your breast pump blew up in another country! That story ALONE must make you laugh and feel better. |
Cloud
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| My dreams of perfect motherhood started when I was a kid. A mere child of 8 or so years old and I started cutting pictures out of catalogues and imagining all the things I would do with my own little family. Well... I've done some of those things. But like you, had low milk supply and only nursed for 6 months with each child. Kid 1 was so underweight she looks like a victim of famine in her baby pics until she started formula and totally filled out. I wouldn't worry one bit about getting a stroller or a swing- those things are so harmless! Using those tools to get a few extra winks of sleep is totally ok. Try to throw out all those ideals you had. Seriously. Once you let go of them you'll be able to see what a good job you're doing and maybe start to enjoy the experience. |
Anonymous
| My child is four and I'm still trying to figure out what the hell happened since I saw that positive pregnancy test. |