If you are wicked smart, what about your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I wish we lived in Falls Church or Rockville, amongst more striving immigrants who would serve as role models. DH and I are both 99.9% and so are both kids, I'd say... but they float along with A- because it's easier not to work very hard.

And they are so different - the younger one is a thinker, introverted like us. But the older one loves sports, people in groups, managing things. It's hard to guide her correctly - trying to think about preparing her for business school, which we would never have considered. Reading the new book _Quiet_ http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/ helps give me perspective on who she is.

This post made me LOL! We live in Falls Church. Come on out! It's a great lifestyle and you're right, the diversity is nice, although you'd be surprised that there are actually some pretty wealthy white people out our way (not us).

[Anonymous]

DH and I are both really smart. The kids are probably smarter than us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I wish we lived in Falls Church or Rockville, amongst more striving immigrants who would serve as role models. DH and I are both 99.9% and so are both kids, I'd say... but they float along with A- because it's easier not to work very hard.

And they are so different - the younger one is a thinker, introverted like us. But the older one loves sports, people in groups, managing things. It's hard to guide her correctly - trying to think about preparing her for business school, which we would never have considered. Reading the new book _Quiet_ http://www.thepowerofintroverts.com/ helps give me perspective on who she is.

So, why not move? Good grief, are there no immigrants where you live? Or are they not the "striving" type?

[Anonymous]

DS, age 8, is probably about the same level of intelligence as I am (he tested 145 IQ at age 5, and I tested similarly way back in 4th grade). I do not consider that gifted, genius, or anything even close. DH, on the other hand, has an IQ over 180 - I consider him very smart. DS frustrates me b/c, as others have stated, DS has much less internal motivation than I did/do - I was a total perfectionist who always wanted top grades, to be president of the class, etc. - DS does not give a hoot, and frankly is way too unfocused and easily distracted to ever perform the way I did in school. I love him but I find it very hard to connect with him in this regard!

[Anonymous]

Wow, is this Lake Wobegon + ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS, age 8, is probably about the same level of intelligence as I am (he tested 145 IQ at age 5, and I tested similarly way back in 4th grade). I do not consider that gifted, genius, or anything even close. DH, on the other hand, has an IQ over 180 - I consider him very smart. DS frustrates me b/c, as others have stated, DS has much less internal motivation than I did/do - I was a total perfectionist who always wanted top grades, to be president of the class, etc. - DS does not give a hoot, and frankly is way too unfocused and easily distracted to ever perform the way I did in school. I love him but I find it very hard to connect with him in this regard!

He's only 8!!!!! These things change. He may very well find his motivation. M older child was unmotivated until about 4th grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS, age 8, is probably about the same level of intelligence as I am (he tested 145 IQ at age 5, and I tested similarly way back in 4th grade). I do not consider that gifted, genius, or anything even close. DH, on the other hand, has an IQ over 180 - I consider him very smart. DS frustrates me b/c, as others have stated, DS has much less internal motivation than I did/do - I was a total perfectionist who always wanted top grades, to be president of the class, etc. - DS does not give a hoot, and frankly is way too unfocused and easily distracted to ever perform the way I did in school. I love him but I find it very hard to connect with him in this regard!

He's only 8!!!!! These things change. He may very well find his motivation. M older child was unmotivated until about 4th grade.

Agree. I was a good student, but not great, in elementary school. I was very good in middle school. Excelled in high school/college. It just took me a while to get going!

[Anonymous]

Although very smart I was completely unmotivated all the way through school, never cared about grades or doing my best.

I still turned out okay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Although very smart I was completely unmotivated all the way through school, never cared about grades or doing my best.

I still turned out okay!

Me too!

So I have a really swell IQ, apparently, and was in gifted classes, etc.

I still do things like leave my phone on the roof of the car and drive away, drop it in the toilet, etc.

My child is also fabulously bright. This makes it incredibly hard to understand why the hell he sometimes does stuff like write his name IN SHARPIE! on the back seat of the car. Like seriously. Who did he think I would think did that? He's an only, so it's not like he can blame a sibling.

[Anonymous]

Pardon my ignorance, but how do so man posters know the IQ scores of their preschoolers?

[Anonymous]

My dd is finishing 8th grade and today is writing history exams. She came home from school and did not even open her book. She is not even sure what exam she will write tomorrow or the day after.
I wanted to cry. At 14 I was the top student in my school and did all my homework independenly. I have taken her to so many different sports and hobbies and signed her up for all kinds of activities, yet she always finds a way to drop out.
Yesterday she said she had taken her history book out of the bag and placed it on the table, and this with a smile as if she was really happy about her accomplishment

[Anonymous]

You can't expect your kids to be as strong as you in your best attribute -- there's bound to be a reversion to the mean. Not always, of course, but usually. By the same token, they're likely to far surpass you in other respects. Help them be them; don't expect them to be you.

[Anonymous]

"By the same token, they're likely to far surpass you in other respects. HELP THEM BE THEM; DON'T EXPECT THEM TO BE YOU."

This really hit home for me. I need to think hard about this and just don't know where to start. Can anyone recommend a book or other starting point to change how I relate to the DC so unlike me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, is this Lake Wobegon + ?

Lol, I am thinking the same thing. The pp who mentioned how being smaht in bumf&@*, USA is different than being smart in DC also seemed to have the right idea.

Wondering what all you wicked smahties do with your presh smarts? Lawyers? Lol.

[Anonymous]

This thread cracks me up. PP is spot on.