If you are wicked smart, what about your kids?
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Anonymous
| DH and I are both in the scary smart range. DC1 is scary smart, and DC2 is smart, but not in an over the top way. Guess which child is better socialized, has more friends, has had fewer behavior issues, does not have ADHD, and is generally happier and better adjusted? *sigh* smart's nice, but we've certainly discovered that it's a small part of the happy and successful life equation. |
Anonymous
Hahahaha, ooo, ooo, pick me, I know this one! ... because I kind of live this one. 
Not sure of DH's IQ, but at his high school reunion, everyone I met told me, "Your husband was the smartest guy in our class!" According to Wikipedia, my IQ puts me in the "Very Gifted or Highly Advanced" bracket (Stanford-Binet). And about those kids... DS1 is also wicked smart, has always acted above his age. Other adults have approached me to talk about him, as he's never been shy about having complicated conversations with them (especially abstract concepts, or anything scientific). But DS2 is also ridiculously clever and quick, and actually scored higher than his older brother on the FCPS standardized tests (NNAT and CogAT). BUT DS2 is less in-your-face about his innate intelligence, and I'm pretty sure he thinks he's not as smart as his big brother. (We aren't planning to show them their scores, as it really shouldn't affect how hard they work in school. I don't want them thinking they can just coast. Hard work is its own reward, yadda yadda yadda.) |
Anonymous
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[Sheepishly raises hand.] A lonely childhood drove my academic interest. Reading opens up the world for an isolated child, huh? My children are growing up very differently. They are still very young. I don't know what they'll manifest. If they end up clever kiddos, I pray it's not for the same reason. |
Anonymous
| My DH is extremely smart. Everything comes easily to him, especially math. I am above average, but nothing special. Our older DC is similar to me. Smart enough, but has to work at it. He particularly struggles with spelling and writing, though. Even though he is an A/B student, DH has a hard time with him not being as quick as he is himself. I think he assumed his kids would be smart because he is. Our younger DS is very bright and so far things seem to come easily to him. I think he'll be more like DH. I find myself defending older DS because I know what it's like to have to work hard at certain subjects and that it doesn't have much bearing on success in life. I don't want him to develop a stigma because he isn't super-smart. |
Anonymous
Same in this family. except for ages and gender. Plus, it's hard because things come so easily that I am afraid that he gives up too easily when something comes along that takes work - which doesn't happen all that often. |
Anonymous
I completely agree. I tested HG as a child, and I've always been a little out of sync. Things were okay in school where I was generally surrounded by bright people, but when I hit the workforce, I felt like many people were working in slow motion. I had a really hard time accepting that they weren't being deliberately lazy and stupid. I eventually figured out that my processing speed is faster than most people's, and that people are trying their best even when they seemed to be moving impossibly slowly. |
Anonymous
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PP here.
Oh, and our kids vary. The eldest seems to be very bright, but doesn't display some of the scary characteristics I had as a child. I had a photographic and eidetic auditory memory that lasted into my late teens. People seemed to find these skills freakish, and once I was old enough I hid them. I generally felt freakish as a kid and while I had friends, there was always a core of loneliness because I was so different. Our other two kids are bright, but seem closer to the range of normal. All of our kids are happy and socially well-adjusted, which are the most important things for DH and me. |
Anonymous
Similar here: DH (pretty smart) and I (above average/normal smart). DS (HS age) is simply far smarter and a faster learner than any of us. DS is in a different league completely and it has always been the case. As stated by other poster, it is not always a blessing. I would add that it is not so easy for his siblings either, who because of DS's intelligence, perceive themselves to lack brains. We work to emphasize effort and that each person has unique skills talents and contributions. They'll probably not realize recognize or come into their own until they are in high school or college. |
Anonymous
But this is exactly how they teach math these days so I'm not sure it points to his unusual smartness just that he is able to pick up on the way the subject is taught (which is great of course but not a sign of special ability) IMO smartness matters much less than work ethic, effort and an ability to get along well with others. I have a number of academics in my family and the super smart ones have brilliant ideas but those ideas aren't accepted mainstream bc they can't socialize them among their peers. I had one brilliant uncle who ended up as a car mechanic despite 2 PhDs from Harvard and Stanford bc he was so quirky no place would hire him on a tenure track. I have no idea where my kids rank on the intelligence scale nor do I care. I emphasize working hard and caring about schoolwork. They don't get real grades yet but they know those are important to us as well as finding subjects that interest them tTt hey want to learn more about on their own. |
Anonymous
| Isn't wicked smart or scary smart what you always say bout kids with emotional problems? |
Anonymous
| I think it's strange how many adults know their IQ. |
Anonymous
And they are all high! No one came rolling in here saying they had an IQ of 104. Typical DCUM! |
Anonymous
Why is that strange? Many adults have been tested for various reasons. I was tested repeatedly to qualify for different gifted programs. interestingly,my scores increased as I got older -- perhaps a function of the fact that I am an immigrant and English was not my first language. As for why people would only post if they have high IQs, well, duh -- OPs question starts, "If you are wicked smart," so the not-so-smart, are not likely to post. |
Anonymous
Depends on how you define emotional problems. But it certainly seems, based on DS, other very bright kids I know & my reading, that the brightest 1% of kids have a high likelihood of having ADHD, ASD, SPD, or anxiety. But with the exception of anxiety, I would think of these as neurological problems not emotional ones. These are also the kids who "need" AAP in FCPS, because they are very out of step academically and social- emotionally. |
Anonymous
FCPS used to test kids for GT eligibility--back in the '80s, parents didn't pay for it. That's how I know mine. (I do think it's weird when people share it with you in real life. One of my coworkers told me his. I don't even know him that well... WTF??? I didn't tell him mine was almost 10 points higher.  )
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