Apologize for being a bridezilla many years ago?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sign of weakness.

And OP is at war with Turkmenistan and can't afford that?

I don't get this kind of thinking.

LMAO!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

While I like PPs phrasing, I agree that it may have been some other reason that you drifted apart. No good friend drifts apart over a wedding, really.

I did.

A friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and then treated me quite poorly -- not as a person but as a prop for her "special day." As her demands grew and grew over the months, I started seeing our friendship in a new light. I realized it was more about convenience than a true give-and-take, and there was always drama. So. Much. Drama.

So after putting a smile on my face and doing my job as a bridesmaid, I very intentionally drifted away. We lost touch and are no loger friends. No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Yes, go ahead and apologize. If I had something hanging over my head about that, I would definitely own up to it.

[Anonymous]

To quote Oprah, "you did then what you knew then, now that you know better, you do better"

Apologize, it would go a long way in mending those wounds.

[Anonymous]

Op no matter how long it has been, I think its great that you are acknowledging and reflecting on this. It shows growth and that you are comfortable with who you are now.

Good for you!

[Anonymous]

I've put distance between myself and a woman who was an obnoxious bride. It turns out she wasn't a very good friend or nice person outside of the wedding anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

While I like PPs phrasing, I agree that it may have been some other reason that you drifted apart. No good friend drifts apart over a wedding, really.

I did.

A friend asked me to be a bridesmaid and then treated me quite poorly -- not as a person but as a prop for her "special day." As her demands grew and grew over the months, I started seeing our friendship in a new light. I realized it was more about convenience than a true give-and-take, and there was always drama. So. Much. Drama.

So after putting a smile on my face and doing my job as a bridesmaid, I very intentionally drifted away. We lost touch and are no loger friends. No regrets.

This happened to me to (though we didnt 'drift away' - I explicitly broke up with her, telling her i didnt have the energy/time to put into a one-sided friendship & never heard from her again) I was hoping that OP was my friend - an apology from 'my' bridezilla would mean a lot; I still think about her and wonder how she's been & if she ever realized how terribly she treated me during that time.

OP, your apology is great and i'm sure your friend will appreciate it.

[Anonymous]

I have to say this is why some women have a reputation of being nuts.

This is totally neurotic. You're FORMER friends will have a good chuckle.

Do it if it will make you feel better, but this is just an exercise in vanity and self-help BS. You're former friends are not sitting around thinking about you and your behavior from years ago. They have lives and have moved on and will more than likely see this as a reflection of your self-absoprtion.

If you feel guilty about past behavior, do your penance via charity or volunteer work.

If I got an apology like this from someone years later, I would think a) it was random and b) she was stuck on herself and in the past.

[Anonymous]

I say do it...email/write/call whatever. I've had some people crap on me over the years and while I have moved forward and forgiven, I haven't forgotten and it still sometimes stings. A sincere apology would mean A LOT to me and my respect for the person would go up exponentially.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to say this is why some women have a reputation of being nuts.

This is totally neurotic. You're FORMER friends will have a good chuckle.

Do it if it will make you feel better, but this is just an exercise in vanity and self-help BS. You're former friends are not sitting around thinking about you and your behavior from years ago. They have lives and have moved on and will more than likely see this as a reflection of your self-absoprtion.

If you feel guilty about past behavior, do your penance via charity or volunteer work.

If I got an apology like this from someone years later, I would think a) it was random and b) she was stuck on herself and in the past.

Couldn't agree more. Let it go - the other women have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say do it...email/write/call whatever. I've had some people crap on me over the years and while I have moved forward and forgiven, I haven't forgotten and it still sometimes stings. A sincere apology would mean A LOT to me and my respect for the person would go up exponentially.

this

[Anonymous]

My SIL was a "bridezilla" at my own wedding. Couldn't handle a family event where she was not center of attention. She'll never apologize. Do draw satisfaction that I was not the only one who noticed.

[Anonymous]

I say definitely do it. I had an employee quit five years ago whom I'd always respected for his technical skills, but had a really tough time managing because he was basically a jerk to me every single day. He contacted me about three months ago with an apology email in which basically apologized for being a complete asshole. Five years later, but I really, really appreciated it. We'll never be friends again, but I do respect him for coming a long way and realizing that our problems were mostly on his part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sign of weakness.

And OP is at war with Turkmenistan and can't afford that?

I don't get this kind of thinking.

Me neither. Since when is it "weak" to do something difficult and potentially uncomfortable? It actually takes balls to apologize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. We all have youthful indiscretions. Move on, and make it your policy to be a good listener and reasonable person from now on.

Stop thinking about the past. [b]it doesn't exist[/b].

Of course it does, in spite of your wishful thinking.

OP, I think you have gotten some strange replies here. I'm assuming that your post, question and situation are serious and sincere. If that is the case, then I think you should definitely be in touch with these people and make your peace. It sounds to me like a very mature, kind thing to do.