Apologize for being a bridezilla many years ago?

[Anonymous]

Op again - thanks for the perspectives. What made me post is that I think about this every few months and all these "bridezilla" posts lately had me thinking about my own situation and thinking about finally making a move to apologize. I wouldn't expect anyone to be friends with me again all of a sudden. I think I just want them to know that I know I was a jerk and that I'm truly sorry. I think I was already growing apart from these women at the time just because of normal life growth stuff, but that certain situations cemented the end of our friendships.

For those curious, the main thing was that I had it in my head that I needed a certain number of bridesmaids (groom had that number, so felt I needed exactly the same), so I only asked that number and I know that at least one person was really hurt that I didn't ask her or include her in another way. Other issues - someone wanted to contribute to my ceremony and I had a very short untraditional ceremony, so I told her I wasn't interested in what she wanted to do, but I don't think I did it very nicely. There was a dress issue that one of the girls was upset about and I blew it off.

Not huge things. And maybe these people never even think about me or the wedding. That's why I was wondering - weird to bring it up again especially since I don't know if anyone even remembers?

[Anonymous]

OP - are you a 12 stepper?

Sounds like the apology is all about YOU, just like your precious special day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a 12 stepper?

Sounds like the apology is all about YOU, just like your precious special day.

Huh. Can you say more? I mean, yeah, I guess it is about me since I don't know how they will react or if they even think about it. What is the point of an apology other than to express that I personally am sorry that I acted a certain away. You can't really expect much more out of an apology than that... Hopefully the person receiving the apology will feel better too, but you can never know that. I think this is why I'm conflicted about even offering an apology. I am absolutely sorry that I acted the way I did. Is it important that they know that?

[Anonymous]

No. We all have youthful indiscretions. Move on, and make it your policy to be a good listener and reasonable person from now on.

Stop thinking about the past. it doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

I would maybe say something like this --

I've been reflecting on my wedding based on a thread about "bridezillas" I read online. I realize now that I probably was one. I also realize that while it may not matter to you now, 8 years later, it matters enough to me to apologize for being so irrational and difficult. I also realized we lost touch after my wedding and I know the reason was likely my behavior. I'd love to hear from you and know how you've been.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sign of weakness.

And OP is at war with Turkmenistan and can't afford that?

I don't get this kind of thinking.

[Anonymous]

OP here is the problem: since you have been married, there have been reality shows of all kinds. The ones about brides exist because of the term *bridezilla*. When that term came about, it made so many non-wedding-types thrilled! "At last, we have a term to use in our moments of bitterness!!!" For those kinds of people, the term covers any bride imaginable, nasty or not. Let it go. No one cares.

Those who use the term will be bitter long after the weddings are over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe say something like this --

I've been reflecting on my wedding based on a thread about "bridezillas" I read online. I realize now that I probably was one. I also realize that while it may not matter to you now, 8 years later, it matters enough to me to apologize for being so irrational and difficult. I also realized we lost touch after my wedding and I know the reason was likely my behavior. I'd love to hear from you and know how you've been.

Perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would maybe say something like this --

I've been reflecting on my wedding based on a thread about "bridezillas" I read online. I realize now that I probably was one. I also realize that while it may not matter to you now, 8 years later, it matters enough to me to apologize for being so irrational and difficult. I also realized we lost touch after my wedding and I know the reason was likely my behavior. I'd love to hear from you and know how you've been.

Perfect.

OP here - wow. this is EXACTLY what I want to say.

[Anonymous]

I think 13:11 has a perfect statement too. YOu should totally say that!

[Anonymous]

13:11 hit it out of the park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - are you a 12 stepper?

Sounds like the apology is all about YOU, just like your precious special day.

you are a jerk. really.

[Anonymous]

OP, are you sure your friends stopped talking to you due to bridezilla behavior? Could it just have been that you grew apart, some other reason?

[Anonymous]

While I like PPs phrasing, I agree that it may have been some other reason that you drifted apart. No good friend drifts apart over a wedding, really.

[Anonymous]

Agree that it wasn't totally the wedding, but I'm sure that contributed. We were definitely growing apart before that, but had been friends for a long long time, so I would have hoped to at least be in and out of each other's lives as the years went on.