School Recommendation for Gifted Child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighborhood school is not one of the "good" ones in Arlington. And I don't think the mixed abilities classes work as well as tracking, frankly, because the teachers end up teaching to the lowest common denominator.

I agree with 17:21 about the hostility toward bright kids, especially from adults - not just teachers but the parents of "friends."

Of course, I just read the "DC Urban Moms Farce" - which included insults directed at anyone talking about having a gifted child - and even one post that was paraphrasing a post of mine on this thread.

You know what is really annoying about that? I never, ever reveal to anyone IRL what my kids' IQ scores are, even when asked a direct question. I have neither hired an educational consultant nor gotten sucked into the whole "prestigious" private school crap. We didn't even apply to Beauvoir because I had no intention of driving into DC every day just so I could somehow feel reflected glory from my high-achieving child.

I came here sincerely asking for advice about education for gifted kids. Most everyone responding has been helpful, which I appreciate. But using my post in that other thread - well, that person clearly has issues.

Try not to take it in. As you said, that person - and others - have issues around this subject.

Do you mind sharing where your dc is in preschool - particularly interested if it is one of the more selective DC preschools. Our dd appears to be gifted and will be starting at one of these in the fall - so I am interested in feedback.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our neighborhood school is not one of the "good" ones in Arlington. And I don't think the mixed abilities classes work as well as tracking, frankly, because the teachers end up teaching to the lowest common denominator.

I agree with 17:21 about the hostility toward bright kids, especially from adults - not just teachers but the parents of "friends."

Of course, I just read the "DC Urban Moms Farce" - which included insults directed at anyone talking about having a gifted child - and even one post that was paraphrasing a post of mine on this thread.

You know what is really annoying about that? I never, ever reveal to anyone IRL what my kids' IQ scores are, even when asked a direct question. I have neither hired an educational consultant nor gotten sucked into the whole "prestigious" private school crap. We didn't even apply to Beauvoir because I had no intention of driving into DC every day just so I could somehow feel reflected glory from my high-achieving child.

I came here sincerely asking for advice about education for gifted kids. Most everyone responding has been helpful, which I appreciate. But using my post in that other thread - well, that person clearly has issues.

Lighten up a bit. The entire thread is a joke meant to help people "lighten up a bit."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what is really annoying about that? I never, ever reveal to anyone IRL what my kids' IQ scores are, even when asked a direct question. I have neither hired an educational consultant nor gotten sucked into the whole "prestigious" private school crap. We didn't even apply to Beauvoir because I had no intention of driving into DC every day just so I could somehow feel reflected glory from my high-achieving child.

I came here sincerely asking for advice about education for gifted kids. Most everyone responding has been helpful, which I appreciate. But using my post in that other thread - well, that person clearly has issues.

You have my sympathy. I think it's unfortunate that so many people feel comfortable displaying hostility toward the families of gifted cildren when they would never dream of doing so toward the families of children with (other) special needs. At the same time, I find it a bit ironic that in order to make your point you find it necessary to denigrate families that "get sucked into the whole 'prestigious' private school crap or use educational consultants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You know what is really annoying about that? I never, ever reveal to anyone IRL what my kids' IQ scores are, even when asked a direct question. I have neither hired an educational consultant nor gotten sucked into the whole "prestigious" private school crap. We didn't even apply to Beauvoir because I had no intention of driving into DC every day just so I could somehow feel reflected glory from my high-achieving child.

I came here sincerely asking for advice about education for gifted kids. Most everyone responding has been helpful, which I appreciate. But using my post in that other thread - well, that person clearly has issues.

You have my sympathy. I think it's unfortunate that so many people feel comfortable displaying hostility toward the families of gifted cildren when they would never dream of doing so toward the families of children with (other) special needs. At the same time, I find it a bit ironic that in order to make your point you find it necessary to denigrate families that "get sucked into the whole 'prestigious' private school crap or use educational consultants.

Thanks for picking that up pp. Two wrongs...!

[Anonymous]

My DS is gifted. No G&T for him. Being socially normal matters the most. I don't care about grades, good friens matter more. If he gets work done faster, that means more time for fun, not more work.
Childhood comes only once.

[Anonymous]

Indeed, I apologize for the reflect glory comment. To be fair, however, I've heard many people IRL focus on the prestige of the school rather than the fit of the school for their family. I almost got sucked into that, truly. Picking the "prestige" school is often a statement about the lifestyle your family has or aspires to. It is frequently more about the parents than the kids. But I was a bit harsh.

And I know the farce thread is a joke, but did anyone take your actual post and include it, so that you are personally mocked?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Picking the "prestige" school is often a statement about the lifestyle your family has or aspires to. It is frequently more about the parents than the kids.

Hey, you did it again!

[Anonymous]

Is this a joke?

[Anonymous]

Go back and play on the farce thread.

What's wrong with picking the prestige school? Really?

[Anonymous]

If you have to ask...

[Anonymous]

The farce thread wasn't poking fun at any specific mother going on too long about her child's talents. Rather, it went on (with a great deal of humor) about those with an over- inflated sense of their own child's abilities relative to the ability of the other kids in school. We all know plenty of those parents.

However, if the shoe fits....

[Anonymous]

OP, do yourself a favor before thinking too much about this: Go online and see if there is any evidence that differentiating kids by ability into gifted programs makes any difference in the long run. I have found no such evidence, so I plan to keep my kids in "regular" classes.

[Anonymous]

I don't think an IQ of 150 in this area differentiates your child that much from his/her peers. The DC area has a very high concentration of highly educated, and high IQ people. The public schools in some of the suburbs are very competitive.

Seriously, DH and I both have IQs higher than 150 and while we are smart and have done well, neither of us is a "brainiac" or will be discovering the cure for cancer anytime soon. Your child may find himself in the top 10th percentile but in many of the schools in this area I doubt he will be bored or feel out of place. He may not even be in the top percentiles.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think an IQ of 150 in this area differentiates your child that much from his/her peers. The DC area has a very high concentration of highly educated, and high IQ people. The public schools in some of the suburbs are very competitive.

Seriously, DH and I both have IQs higher than 150 and while we are smart and have done well, neither of us is a "brainiac" or will be discovering the cure for cancer anytime soon. Your child may find himself in the top 10th percentile but in many of the schools in this area I doubt he will be bored or feel out of place. He may not even be in the top percentiles.

You are not correct in your assumptions. The distribution of IQ has a VERY long tail, which means that rarity increases in a non-linear way with an increase in measured IQ points.

If someone has an IQ of 130 (which is "gifted"), then they are likely to experience themselves as bright but not unsusual with a rarity of 1 person out of every 30 or 40 (depending on which test is used. If someone has an IQ of 140, then the rarity increases to 1 out of every 160-260 - again they will very likely meet others like themselves and teachers will be relatively likely to meet their needs.

However, when you get to an IQ of 150, then rarity increases to 1 out of every 1300-2400 - which means a child might be the ONLY person with their capabilities in a large public school. And, at 160, you are talking about 1 out of every 11,000 to 32,000 people. A "regular" school setting is just not set up to be able to provide for many of the needs of highly gifted children.

http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/IQtable.aspx

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[However, when you get to an IQ of 150, then rarity increases to 1 out of every 1300-2400 - which means a child might be the ONLY person with their capabilities in a large public school. And, at 160, you are talking about 1 out of every 11,000 to 32,000 people. A "regular" school setting is just not set up to be able to provide for many of the needs of highly gifted children

Nor is any school, given those ratios. (Yes, I recognize that selective admissions schools aren't random samples of the population -- nor are public schools for that matter.)

Luckily, most highly gifted children don't rely on school for their education. In fact, the smartest people I know are typically the least likely to be bored. There's always something for them to think about and they're typically able to pay enough attention to less demanding stuff in their environment (teacher explaining stuff they already know) not to let unstimulating stuff drown out more interesting stuff.

All that said, socially, a highly gifted kid is better off when s/he is in an environment that doesn't enforce conformity and where s/he's surrounded by other kids who love to learn. It really isn't a matter of looking for the school that pushes kids hardest and fastest, (highly gifted kids will generally do that on their own) but one that doesn't channel their intelligence into doing what any reasonably intelligent person can do only earlier and more quickly. "Party tricks," as my dad used to say. Deep and wide and subtle is alot more important (and intellectually engaging) over the long run. (Hmm, maybe an undercurrent here is avoid schools that are obsessed with standardized test scores, but you probably knew that anyway.)