School Recommendation for Gifted Child

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost all the kids in the elite private schools test into the gifted range.

I don't believe this is true, from speaking to teachers and administrators at a couple of the "top tier" schools. They've got plenty of 80th-percentile kids in there and below. "Gifted" usually means 95%-ile and up.

[Anonymous]

My IQ is 144 and my brother's is 160 or so. Our parents sent us to (very well regarded) public schools and we were both in the gifted program. It did not work well for either of us. I rejected academics and went for popularity. My best friends were cheerleaders and I had lots of boyfriends and partied. I did very little work, graduated with 3.1 and 97 percentile SATs. My parents tried to switch me to private school junior year but I rebelled and refused to be tested/attend. I did at least end up at a decent college because of the SAT percentile. On the other hand, my brother was sucessful academically, although probably a bit bored, was a complete geek, was the butt of lots of pranks and teasing and had only one friend. Some pretty sad things happened to him because of being such an outcast. He finally overcame it all in his 30s and is married to a great girl. But, basically, public school was really pretty much a disaster for us both. I think in some MCPS that might not have happened to either of us because there are more highly gifted students and we would each have felt more normal being ourselves but I do tend to believe that both situations are less likely in the right private school. I really applaud OP for recognizing this and trying to find one for her son. That said; give your daughter's school a chance. Talk to the administration and see what they have to say about special programs for other super smart kids. You may be surprised. Private schools have more resources, are more likely to think outside the box, and your DS would not be the first gifted child they would have had. Good luck!!

[Anonymous]

You might want to consider Aidan Montessori. It goes goes through 6th, but I would imagine that they have openings for K since many of the children from the preschool leave to go to ongoing privates. Montessori is a great fit for gifted children because of its individualized focus and self-pacing. Then, see how he develops in terms of personality and interests. At that point, you can decide whether or not to apply to one of the privates or get him into one of the G&T programs in Montgomery County.

My IQ was tested as 165 in 6th grade. I have fond memories of Montessori preschool and K (learning both long division and sewing buttons...). I did well as long as I was in a G&T program or setting that was friendly and encouraging of out-of-sequence intellectual development. I think I might have thrived more somewhere with more enrichment in terms of fully developing talents - but in terms of happiness, the most important thing was to be around teachers who had positive attitudes about "smart" kids and (secondarily for me) around kids for whom being smart was normal.

I disagree with the post saying that most of the children in private schools are gifted or highly gifted. I believe that this is true for most of the children who are NOT legacies or not otherwise "connected" precisely because the schools have to admit the legacies and other priority children without as much weighting on the factor of measurable intelligence. So the population as a whole distributes more toward the norm (albeit a "norm" that is still on the right-hand tail of the larger bell curve).

In the end, the most important things children learn in their school years are social skills. So find an environment that is supportive and celebratory of who he is - where he feels safe and valued - and he'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

PP here. I forgot to include the below links. You might find them interesting:

http://www.educationaloptions.com/levels_giftedness.htm

http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/IQtable.aspx

[Anonymous]

Love that chart! Especially the splitting of the 99%-ile hairs!

[Anonymous]

We're in the same boat as you and have found numerous resources to guide us in choosing an educational path for our children. A couple of quick links you can look at:

1) http://www.ditd.org/ -- the Davidson Institute will offer free services to your child as long as you can show that his scores are actually in that range.

2) http://cty.jhu.edu/ -- Johns Hopkins has a wonderful Center for Talented Youth that will offer help with diagnostics and counseling and offers great summer and afternoon programs to enrich the M-F curriculum.

3) http://www.judithglasser.com/contact.html -- Dr. Judith Glasser is a psychologist who has a background and special interest in helping young gifted children through their asynchronous development.

4) Raising Gifted Kids: Everything You Need to Know to Help Your Exceptional Child Thrive by Barbara Klein -- I found this book particularly helpful in determining what kind of children I had (i.e., globally gifted or just one area) and what the pitfalls and special rewards would be as they developed.

FWIW, we had our kids in a private school and found, for many reasons, that it was not right for us (full disclosure, we did not like the atmosphere or values system of our particular school). But another overwhelming reason was that they did not have the ability in the lower grades to meet the academic needs of our kids. We looked at Nysmith but, in the end, with all of the guidance we have received, we chose Montgomery County and all of its in-school options, out-of-bounds special programs and magnets. We talked with a LOT of people over the course of a couple of years before making this decision and sat in on lots of classes at all these different schools. At the end of the day, MoCo schools seemed the best place to meet academic needs as well as having a mass of like students who could meet social needs.

HTH and best of luck to you as you start down this path.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love that chart! Especially the splitting of the 99%-ile hairs!

I find the rarity information helpful in understanding how people with these scores will experience the world and be experienced by others.

[Anonymous]

How is it that people know their IQ scores? Is testing automatic in schools now? Or who do you see about IQ tests and at what age?

[Anonymous]

I found "Your Gifted Child: How to Recognize and Develop the Special Talents in Your Child from Birth to Age Seven" by Joan Franklin Smutny et al helpful. I think it is out of print but I got it at the library.

As for picking the school, as a gifted child myself and parent to two gifted children, I think personality matters as much as intelligence in finding the right place. And remember their experience will vary a lot year to year based on the teachers if you pick a traditional school setting. We do Montessori and love it.

[Anonymous]

11:15 - I don't know my own IQ, but the WPPSI III is required for pre-k and K applications at many of the local private schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it that people know their IQ scores? Is testing automatic in schools now? Or who do you see about IQ tests and at what age?

Some of us were tested in elementary school for access to gifted programs at the time. Our h.s. guidance counselor also had a listing.

[Anonymous]

Why not just your neighborhood school?

[Anonymous]

Depends on what the neighborhood school offers!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why not just your neighborhood school?

As one of the pps on this thread who tested as HG as a child, I can tell you that Gen Ed is an absolute nightmare when you have an IQ of 140+. Trust me. And it's not the kids as much as the teachers often that make it a hostile environment simply to be yourself.

[Anonymous]

Our neighborhood school is not one of the "good" ones in Arlington. And I don't think the mixed abilities classes work as well as tracking, frankly, because the teachers end up teaching to the lowest common denominator.

I agree with 17:21 about the hostility toward bright kids, especially from adults - not just teachers but the parents of "friends."

Of course, I just read the "DC Urban Moms Farce" - which included insults directed at anyone talking about having a gifted child - and even one post that was paraphrasing a post of mine on this thread.

You know what is really annoying about that? I never, ever reveal to anyone IRL what my kids' IQ scores are, even when asked a direct question. I have neither hired an educational consultant nor gotten sucked into the whole "prestigious" private school crap. We didn't even apply to Beauvoir because I had no intention of driving into DC every day just so I could somehow feel reflected glory from my high-achieving child.

I came here sincerely asking for advice about education for gifted kids. Most everyone responding has been helpful, which I appreciate. But using my post in that other thread - well, that person clearly has issues.