career conundrum: have you ever been fired or 'asked to leave' your job? wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The memo is a sign your boss would like to document poor performance as a reason for termination.

You should read the memo carefully. It should spell out what performance expectations are, what timeframe, and concrete steps for meeting that expectation.

Are these memos always a bad sign or does HR sometimes send them hoping things will actually work out with the employee? My younger sister received something like the above at her job about 2 weeks ago. She likes the company and is trying to work on her performance, but I suggested she start looking for something else asap.

OP, I want to wish you good luck over the next few weeks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The memo is a sign your boss would like to document poor performance as a reason for termination.

You should read the memo carefully. It should spell out what performance expectations are, what timeframe, and concrete steps for meeting that expectation.

Are these memos always a bad sign or does HR sometimes send them hoping things will actually work out with the employee? My younger sister received something like the above at her job about 2 weeks ago. She likes the company and is trying to work on her performance, but I suggested she start looking for something else asap.

OP, I want to wish you good luck over the next few weeks

At my last company this was always *the sign* and it was always bad. At best you had three months left, at worst you had two weeks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just leave it off your resume. Say you took a sabatical to care for an aging family member. No one will ever call them for a reference.

This is terrible advice, and I saw another poster suggested it too. I am a hiring manager for my region, and this is just a huge red flag whenever I discover it-- and yes, even without online evidence i can discover it. Why start off a job with dishonesty? If it has only been two months, note inthe cover letter that you are currently emoyed but seeking a better fit and opportunity closer to your interests.

HR here. What do you use to discover it? If it's not on google?

[Anonymous]

I have worked for several very large companies and we were forbidden from providing job references for ANYONE who had worked with us beyond "yes they were employed from these dates to these dates." Any chance you are at a big company?? if yes, you might be ok to linger and find something else if they aren't allowed to give a performance reference.

[Anonymous]

Yes, an official memo with HR CCed is not a good sign. I wrote one of these memos and gave a firm date by which specific improvements were needed. That date came and things had actually gotten worse so we had to let the person go.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I was asked to leave twice. In the first case, I was given a certain period of time to find another position so as to avoid a gap on my resume. I was able to locate a new job within that timeframe, and left on good terms. In the second case, I couldn't avoid the gap but I did manage to extend out my termination date.

I'd stick it out until they ask you to leave and negotiate for a late termination date.

[Anonymous]

"It's not that I'm dismissing my boss's suggestions for how to do things - I was trying to do things her way, but I needed greater clarity in order to really make progress on my assignments, so I tried a different approach and got shot down. In fact, the day I figured out a strategy that made sense to me I felt really good about the job for the first time, like I could possibly make it work after all - and then when I was presenting the outcomes to my boss she pretty much said "we don't do things that way here" and that was that.

But my take on that memo was the same as yours, PP - and that's why I am especially dreading the start of another work-week, and why I want to have some sort of plan for how to get out of here in a way that won't kill my career going forward.

Thanks again for the support and good advice."

Your needing "greater clarity" means you don't have the education and/or experience to perform at the level for which you were hired. Get out of there asap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your needing "greater clarity" means you don't have the education and/or experience to perform at the level for which you were hired. Get out of there asap.

Yes. OP here, and I agree with you. That's why this job and I are mismatched. The things I'm good at aren't working in this setting - and I don't even see much opportunity for me to use my strengths in this position (which wasn't at all clear during the interviews) - and while I know I could learn/sharpen the skills I'd need to succeed at this job I would need my boss to be a better mentor, which she is not interested in doing. Hence my feelings of inadequacy and frustration - a toxic combo for productivity, that's for sure!

I know my future with this company is nonexistent, it's just a matter of when and how I leave this job, and which way out would leave me in a better position. This weekend I was thinking I would come in today and give my notice, but maybe it does make more sense to be asked to leave and then try to negotiate a decent timeframe for my departure. I'm trying to balance all of the icky things about this situation - minimizing the amount of time without a paycheck before I get another job, preventing a future employer from finding out that I'm ineligible for rehire at this company (if I get fired), keeping my sanity while sitting at this desk - to find the best possible outcome, which isn't easy.

[Anonymous]

Good luck with all this, OP. And I wanted to say thanks to all the posters who have provided thoughtful advice. I am not currently in this position but I have been before and, who knows, may yet again. If so, I'll remember your advice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your needing "greater clarity" means you don't have the education and/or experience to perform at the level for which you were hired. Get out of there asap.

Yes. OP here, and I agree with you. That's why this job and I are mismatched. The things I'm good at aren't working in this setting - and I don't even see much opportunity for me to use my strengths in this position (which wasn't at all clear during the interviews) - and while I know I could learn/sharpen the skills I'd need to succeed at this job I would need my boss to be a better mentor, which she is not interested in doing. Hence my feelings of inadequacy and frustration - a toxic combo for productivity, that's for sure!

I know my future with this company is nonexistent, it's just a matter of when and how I leave this job, and which way out would leave me in a better position. This weekend I was thinking I would come in today and give my notice, but maybe it does make more sense to be asked to leave and then try to negotiate a decent timeframe for my departure. I'm trying to balance all of the icky things about this situation - minimizing the amount of time without a paycheck before I get another job, preventing a future employer from finding out that I'm ineligible for rehire at this company (if I get fired), keeping my sanity while sitting at this desk - to find the best possible outcome, which isn't easy.

don't give notice in this economy. look for a new job asap, but don't leave until (1) you are told to leave or (2) you have a better job. With luck, you might have a new job lined up at the same time you are collecting severance or vacation time from the current one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thank you all so much for being so supportive and helpful. I really appreciate the kindness (especially from DCUM! haha)

Looking back on my interviews for this job I realize that my now-boss was very unclear about what exactly the day-to-day job was about. I get the big picture, but apparently our approaches are totally different - in fact, completely opposite - and she's not too keen on me doing things the way that makes sense to me. She's also one of these read-my-mind type supervisors - we'll go over an assignment, I'll think I'm clear on what needs to be done, but I haven't quite managed to hit the mark yet. I was definitely getting the sense that she was frustrated with me and then came the memo on Friday - and the fact that she cc'd HR - and so it became official.

This whole experience is so humiliating - I can't remember ever feeling so incompetent in my professional life - and then to come home to DH and our toddler and try to be a good wife and mother - ahhhh! Oh, and I'm the primary breadwinner in our family, which makes this whole situation even more awesome. Yeah.

So tomorrow I'll go in and work hard (as always) and do my best not to quit or get fired, and work like crazy to get something else lined up ASAP. Good luck to my fellow DCUMs who are also not excited to start another week...

I had this exact thing happen to me a few years ago. I mean, I could've written your post almost word for word, except I didn't get a written memo. The situation was not unique at the place I was working - this supervisor routinely hired and dumped employees all the time. I was asked to leave, and I did (with two weeks severance, their standard offering). I lasted a few months, the person in my position before me lasted only a few weeks. I knew I was doing my level best at the job and I was treated dreadfully for the last few weeks before being asked to leave. I honestly felt suicidal for several weeks afterwards because I blame myself for everything. The next job I had was very healing - my hard work and professionalism were valued and appreciated there. I did not put this job on my resume. Fortunately I had a good alternate explanation for the gap.

Anyway, this type of thing happens. It sucks, but it is not your fault, and a good supervisor will be able to appreciate and make use of your strengths. Please don't waste your time blaming yourself like I did. In a few years this will be so far in the rearview mirror that you'll hardly remember it. Good luck on your interview!

[Anonymous]

OP here. I wanted to post an update on this situation since it may help someone in the future.

After lengthy discussions with an extremely helpful and supportive HR manager last week, I turned in my letter of resignation yesterday. It was pretty clear that was my only course of action, especially after my boss told me that she just didn't see things working out for me in this job. HR confirmed for me that I'll be paid through the end of my 30-day notice (even if my boss tells me to leave before then) - I know this isn't universally true, but it's the practice at this company (thankfully!) - and my benefits will run through the end of September. Technically I "resigned in lieu of termination" which means I'll receive a neutral reference and be eligible for rehire (not that I'd want to, but in case I end up reporting this position on a future job application, at least there won't be a black mark on my employment history). I'll also be eligible to collect unemployment - but hopefully I'll get a new job between now and my last day here!

So I think this is probably the best possible outcome to this crappy situation. Thanks again to everyone who weighed in with advice and support - here's to successful and rewarding careers for us all!

[Anonymous]

Best of luck to you, OP. I hope you find a job soon that's a better fit. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP. On to the next position!!! I had a very crappy 9 months in a position after 12 years with the same company. I was transferred as part of a sale of the company, and could not be happier now. What profession are you in? maybe we could refresh this thread with hunting ideas for you if you post generically what profession you will be pursuing. Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Good luck OP! I hope it all works out for you. Thanks for the update.