career conundrum: have you ever been fired or 'asked to leave' your job? wwyd?

[Anonymous]

Can you let us know how the bad match happened? Did the employer mis-advertise the position or skills needed, or is it a difficult manager issue?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - I'm 12:55 and I work in HR. Your probationary period has nothing to do with receiving unemployment. Generally in MD, VA, and DC you can collect unemployment if you are terminated (there are exceptions including cause, abandoning your job, and you are not eligible to receive unemployment for any weeks that you have been given severance). The only thing that your length of employment has to do with unemployment is that businesses pay unemployment tax and if you have not worked at your company for enough quarters for that business to have paid enough tax for your unemployment than the state takes the funds from your previous employer's taxes that they have paid. It's complicated, but this does not impact you as the receiver and it is handled by the jurisdiction that you apply to.

I've dealt with many employees in your situation where they are just not a good fit. It's part of life and please do not let it discourage you. Fortunately I have always worked for companies that understand when an employee is not a good fit it is best to acknowledge that, give the employee a period of time to improve, and if they cannot then to allow them to leave with their dignity and one month's pay.

I like you.

[Anonymous]

I have a scenario for you. Not sure if it will help, but it might. My friends brother worked for friends company. Brother thought (brother) was doing a great job. Turns out brother was doing a mediocre job, but friend wanted to do something nice for (brother) that friend knew would be be thankless, but gave him a job anyway, thinking it would somehow motivate brother to be a better person and better worker. Disaster. For years, brother took advantage of time, money and friends general niceties. Brother wanted a piece of the pie more and more. Friend was very successful in her own right, by her own doing, completely. Again, friend wanted to do something nice for her family, as brother was generally a whiner who had been complaining about (brother's) old job. So years passed and friend could not seem to drop enough hints to brother that it was "time to go". Of course, brother had no reason to leave, as brother had money, benefits, whatever that brother would not have anywhere. Friends plan backfired, but a new company stepped in and said no more. New company got rid of brother almost right away because brother could not only not do (brothers) job, but was not qualified, refused attempt proper qualifications (knew he w/could not be successful), got along with very few people (including the most important), and permeated the admin staff in a toxic manner. Oh and brother pissed off friends spouse in the meantime. Never, ever a good idea to piss off the boss's spouse.

Moral of the story: go when it is time, before it gets really ugly. And of course, it is never a good idea to piss off the boss's spouse, no matter who you think you know, you might not.

Not being a good fit can be reason to leave. Let it become nothing more!

GL, OP.

[Anonymous]

Could you have a "how could I improve my performance in this position?" conversation with your boss? At least that might buy you some time to find another job. That would be my first thought. Do whatever you can to stay in your job until you can find another one.

I got laid off from a position after 7 months. I was a bad fit for it, but it did come as a shock - I'd never been laid off before, and I really didn't have any warning. It was hard. I didn't find another job for 6 months - this was right before the real recession hit. And it was a blow to the ego. But I moved on.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

OP here - thank you all so much for being so supportive and helpful. I really appreciate the kindness (especially from DCUM! haha)

Looking back on my interviews for this job I realize that my now-boss was very unclear about what exactly the day-to-day job was about. I get the big picture, but apparently our approaches are totally different - in fact, completely opposite - and she's not too keen on me doing things the way that makes sense to me. She's also one of these read-my-mind type supervisors - we'll go over an assignment, I'll think I'm clear on what needs to be done, but I haven't quite managed to hit the mark yet. I was definitely getting the sense that she was frustrated with me and then came the memo on Friday - and the fact that she cc'd HR - and so it became official.

This whole experience is so humiliating - I can't remember ever feeling so incompetent in my professional life - and then to come home to DH and our toddler and try to be a good wife and mother - ahhhh! Oh, and I'm the primary breadwinner in our family, which makes this whole situation even more awesome. Yeah.

So tomorrow I'll go in and work hard (as always) and do my best not to quit or get fired, and work like crazy to get something else lined up ASAP. Good luck to my fellow DCUMs who are also not excited to start another week...

[Anonymous]

I had a somewhat similar situation. Work went great and I was told they wanted to give me this new promotion. I was put in charge of a project I could not run on my mashine and had to constantly bother other people to get it done. Eventually it was too frustrating and I did not want to do it. Somehow something else small also happened. Actually I think I angered someone on a personal level. The company was very hierarchial. Run by wife & husband, with 2 kids and a son-in-law, and so much tention with people being afraid that they asked something from someone they should not have. Also no flex time. I was the only mother, others were men with SAHM's. So they asked me to leave. I waited until I found another place and could not be happier. I phoned the EEC and they were interested, but I did not want to pursue it.

[Anonymous]

The memo is a sign your boss would like to document poor performance as a reason for termination.

You should read the memo carefully. It should spell out what performance expectations are, what timeframe, and concrete steps for meeting that expectation. You should definitely document in a written memo back to both parties any way in which these expectations or the concrete steps for acheiving these expectations aren't clear, and/or if the timeframe is unreasonable.

However, you should give pause at your explanation that the way your boss wants things done "does not make good sense." This suggests you are dismissing your bosses suggestions and/or preferences. That is never going to end well. Start doing what your boss would like in the way s/he would like it done. IF you aren't going to give notice, this is your only option if you'd like to keep the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The memo is a sign your boss would like to document poor performance as a reason for termination.

You should read the memo carefully. It should spell out what performance expectations are, what timeframe, and concrete steps for meeting that expectation. You should definitely document in a written memo back to both parties any way in which these expectations or the concrete steps for acheiving these expectations aren't clear, and/or if the timeframe is unreasonable.

However, you should give pause at your explanation that the way your boss wants things done "does not make good sense." This suggests you are dismissing your bosses suggestions and/or preferences. That is never going to end well. Start doing what your boss would like in the way s/he would like it done. IF you aren't going to give notice, this is your only option if you'd like to keep the job.

I agree with this.

[Anonymous]

Good luck today (and this week), OP. You have a lot of anonymous folks rooting for you!

Very happy to see the helpful responses thus far. THIS is why I continue to read/contribute to DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The memo is a sign your boss would like to document poor performance as a reason for termination.

You should read the memo carefully. It should spell out what performance expectations are, what timeframe, and concrete steps for meeting that expectation. You should definitely document in a written memo back to both parties any way in which these expectations or the concrete steps for acheiving these expectations aren't clear, and/or if the timeframe is unreasonable.

However, you should give pause at your explanation that the way your boss wants things done "does not make good sense." This suggests you are dismissing your bosses suggestions and/or preferences. That is never going to end well. Start doing what your boss would like in the way s/he would like it done. IF you aren't going to give notice, this is your only option if you'd like to keep the job.

It's not that I'm dismissing my boss's suggestions for how to do things - I was trying to do things her way, but I needed greater clarity in order to really make progress on my assignments, so I tried a different approach and got shot down. In fact, the day I figured out a strategy that made sense to me I felt really good about the job for the first time, like I could possibly make it work after all - and then when I was presenting the outcomes to my boss she pretty much said "we don't do things that way here" and that was that.

But my take on that memo was the same as yours, PP - and that's why I am especially dreading the start of another work-week, and why I want to have some sort of plan for how to get out of here in a way that won't kill my career going forward.

Thanks again for the support and good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The memo is a sign your boss would like to document poor performance as a reason for termination.

You should read the memo carefully. It should spell out what performance expectations are, what timeframe, and concrete steps for meeting that expectation. You should definitely document in a written memo back to both parties any way in which these expectations or the concrete steps for acheiving these expectations aren't clear, and/or if the timeframe is unreasonable.

However, you should give pause at your explanation that the way your boss wants things done "does not make good sense." This suggests you are dismissing your bosses suggestions and/or preferences. That is never going to end well. Start doing what your boss would like in the way s/he would like it done. IF you aren't going to give notice, this is your only option if you'd like to keep the job.

It's not that I'm dismissing my boss's suggestions for how to do things - I was trying to do things her way, but I needed greater clarity in order to really make progress on my assignments, so I tried a different approach and got shot down. In fact, the day I figured out a strategy that made sense to me I felt really good about the job for the first time, like I could possibly make it work after all - and then when I was presenting the outcomes to my boss she pretty much said "we don't do things that way here" and that was that.

But my take on that memo was the same as yours, PP - and that's why I am especially dreading the start of another work-week, and why I want to have some sort of plan for how to get out of here in a way that won't kill my career going forward.

Thanks again for the support and good advice.

Please don't think I am being critical or snarky here, but I hope you read this thread and posted from home. Not at work!! Focus your energies now on work and figuring out a plan when you ARE at work. Good luck to you!

[Anonymous]

"we don't do things that way here"

I work in a place like this - and yes you have to do it the way it's always been done even if it is ass backwards and makes no sense. Do not try and reason or use sense, just do it whatever way they say to do it.

Take comfort in the fact that you will likely have a new job soon and won't have to deal with it anymore.

[Anonymous]

Just leave it off your resume. Say you took a sabatical to care for an aging family member. No one will ever call them for a reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just leave it off your resume. Say you took a sabatical to care for an aging family member. No one will ever call them for a reference.

This is terrible advice, and I saw another poster suggested it too. I am a hiring manager for my region, and this is just a huge red flag whenever I discover it-- and yes, even without online evidence i can discover it. Why start off a job with dishonesty? If it has only been two months, note inthe cover letter that you are currently emoyed but seeking a better fit and opportunity closer to your interests.

[Anonymous]

For what it is worth, I was brought in as a consultant and a favor to a friend/colleague for a federal project over a year ago. After about 6 weeks or laying groundwork, the official contractor brought in a project manager.

It was clear that the PM had a totally different method of execution and vision for the project then anyone on the team. 3 months in, the PM released almost everyone who was on the team, including me. Fast forward 8 months. The PM was canned and the contractor lost the contract - something very rare in these parts.

The bottom line, sometimes these things are not 'your' fault. You just have to suck it up and do what you can. There is a lot of good advice on this thread.