To those moms who formula fed their children

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not defined by your ability to breastfeed...you are a great mother for admiting that an alternative, which not your preference, was needed...you are providing your child with a tried and true form of nutrition that will result in a happy, thriving child.

I'd like to echo this very well-said and kind comment. I fed my daughter formula, and she's a happy, smart, healthy little girl. Please don't be too hard on yourself, OP.

[Anonymous]

another mom to a FF kid here.

Supplemented from day 1 b/c DD was losing weight rather than gaining. And she was a pretty large baby who was almost always hungry.

When she started at an in-home daycare, the provider wasn't really set up to support breastmilk. So she nursed three times a day, the rest was formula. By four months, it was all formula.

DD is off the charts in her height, a healthy weight, and has an IQ that might be higher than either of her parents'.

I think a loving environment is more important than how the baby receives nourishment.

So don't let others get under your skin about this. Those who look down on you just don't know what they are talking about. My own mother apologized to me at one point for having pushed breastfeeding, b/c it was easy for her with her two kids. She felt absolutely awful when she saw me struggling with it (screaming in pain, bleeding, etc). We all struggle with different challenges. Luckily for us, formula in the US today is pretty darned good and a very good option.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who would judge you for this is a jerk. I am a bf mom, mostly but honestly you cannot tell at all who was fed what when you get a bunch of kiddos on the playground. It is fine to mourn the loss of the bf relationship you had hoped for, it is very disappointing when things we care about don't work out. As someone who is pro-bf, it breaks my heart to read this thread and all the guilt and disappointment. Somehow the message of the value of breast milk is getting lost and twisted, and hurting women. I am pro-bf but I am pro-woman first. Ladies, if you are doing what is best for you and your family please hold your heads high. OP, hugs. Soon your baby will be a toddler and this will be ancient history!

[cuzimawesome]

I breastfed and formula fed my first. He was never sick. I exclusively BF my second. She was sick ALL the time. Tons of ear infections. I'm now formula feeding my six mo. old, and he's had the sniffles once. Hopefully he won't have to deal with anything major.

A baby can get sick regardless of what they're fed. You did what you could! You sound like an awesome mama. Your baby will be just fine!

And for what it's worth, my husband was exclusively formula fed, and that man is freakin' smart! He's like an encyclopedia of information. So yeah. I know it's hard, but try not to worry.

[Anonymous]

OMG. How I cried the day I realized that I just could not breastfeed. I had bought pumps (yes plural). I hired a consultant. I bought all sorts of crap that was suppose to help. I tried, failed, and pumped for two weeks without sleep. And then I cracked. I was ashamed and appalled.

And then I regained my sanity and was fine. My baby was healthy and happy and I was a better mom (compared to the miserable mom I was when I was attempting to breast feed). I think its absolutely wonderful when people can successfully breastfeed. Kudos to them for overcoming obstacles. But sometimes you gotta know when to throw in the towel.

My son is now 4.5. He's healthy and happy.

[Anonymous]

You are feeding your baby, and you are loving your child. End of story.

[Anonymous]

It's totally, totally, totally fine. Do not worry about it one bit! Maybe you can enjoy the fact that you can have others share the feeding duties (if you want). Your DD will be completely fine!

[Anonymous]

We used formula almost exclusively from the beginning because I never got any supply! It just didn't happen, despite pumping many times a day. Oh well. I don't believe in beating myself up over stuff I can't control so I quit pumping after a week and enjoyed feeding time MUCH more after that. It was also great that I didn't have to take time out to pump when I went back to work, and that my daughter's dad could do half the feedings from day one. (which was nice bonding for them too.)

My daughter got sick no more than other kids in her first year of daycare, and since then, she rarely gets sick. She's a great eater and she's always been height-weight proportional. We didn't have any of the weaning issues from breast-to-bottle, and traveling with powdered formula (and bottled water to mix it) was a breeze.

there are advantages to breast-feeding, but there are advantages to formula-feeding too. Don't lose another moment of sleep over it!

(p.s. i think the studies that link breast-feeding with higher iq show a correlation but not necessarily causation.)

[Anonymous]

I tried to breastfeed my oldest, but it didn't work. I tried everything and gave up around 5 weeks. I mainly pumped and gave it to him via bottle. He and I were so much happier when I decided to go with formula. With my second, I didn't bother trying to breastfeed. Both are healthy and smart.

FWIW, I was a bottle fed baby, too. In fact, most of us from the US probably were - unless our parents were "hippies"

Don't beat yourself up about your decision. Do what works for you. The first rule of parenting is to not worry what other people think.

[Anonymous]

I've formula fed all three of my children. The older two are intelligent, happy and healthy and the little guy is currently thriving on formula. I wasn't breastfed (neither were my siblings) and yet I gasp somehow managed to thrive (classic over-achiever, phi beta kappa, DC lawyer). I have to say that I used to go into great detail to explain to folks who casually asked if I was breastfeeding why I "had to" use formula. But by baby #3 I decided to stop justifying my decision to formula feed (and perhaps more importantly, stop sharing way too much personal info with folks). Women shouldn't beat themselves or each other up over such decisions. FWIW, the best response I heard from an older mom with 3 kids when she was asked why she wasn't breastfeeding was this: "because I'm not a cow." Obviously, she was kidding. And her snarky response was provoked by a pushy woman asking probing questions who obviously wanted to start a debate --- so she nipped it in the bud with her silly response. I think that's why I got the courage to stop explaining my personal choices to folks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nine year old seems to have survived the ordeal unscathed.

This is what I would've written. Mine was never breastfed at all and he is the smartest and cutest in his class. Nobody (except maybe Montessori schools) even ask about breastfeeding after the fact anyway.

[Anonymous]

Mom here to three healthy, smart, athletic, well-adjusted children who were FF. I had breast reduction surgery so BF wasn't an option for me. I felt no guilt and moved ahead.

Breastfeeding is only a teeny, tiny part of parenting. Pretty soon you'll be making way more impt. decisions like: do you trust your caretaker, what types of foods will you give your child, how will you keep him/her safe at home/at park/at school, what type of values will you impart to him/her, friendships, bullying, peer pressure, bad teachers, bad influences, reading, writing, grades, etc etc etc....

[Anonymous]

My MIL tried to bf dh (her only) and ended up having to FF at around three weeks. My mom bf my bro and I for something like 14 mo. My mom was / is a terrible mom & a toxic narcissist. My MIL on the other hand was / is an amazing mom and dh, dc and I all adore her. She is the most loving person I know! Oh, and the kicker: bro and I are fat and dh is thin as can be!

[Anonymous]

I did a mix of breast and formula from birth with both my kids, now teens. Both are healthy, very intelligent, good athletes, happy kids.

[Anonymous]

OP, I didn't bother to read the rest of the posts. I have two pieces of advice:

1. Don't worry. Don't regret things that are beyond your control. If I had bothered to read the rest of the posts, I am sure that many have told you formula fed kids are just fine. I have two children. One was breastfeed for 12 months. The other I nursed for 3 months. Both kids are just fine, and my second is healthier, more robust in most things, and just as bonded with me and my husband.

2. Once we went to formula, we decided to get the best we could, and the right "gear" to minimize time and energy making bottles. We like Baby's Only Organic Formula. Our kids don't have a problem drinking anything, but we liked ingredients, price point, etc. We also bought a formula mixer from Dr. Brown's that is well worth the price. (Ordered from Diapers.com, but I am sure you can find it elsewhere.)

Happy parents, happy kids.