Kids Say the Darndest Things to Surprise You - Add Yours

[Anonymous]

While changing DS' diaper (2.5) DS said to DH: daddy when I'm big and your little, I'll be changing your diaper.

DS during naked potty training, around age 3: Mommy I like to touch my penis but not too much because I don't like it when it's hard.

[Anonymous]

During children's time up front at church, my son blurts out, "my mom says our ancestors are apes!"

[Anonymous]

On an elevator with kids, a black guy walks on and one of my kids says yum a chocolate guy

[Anonymous]

Yesterday, driving on the beltway we saw a bus with curtains on the back windows.

DS: Mommy look a bus! It has curtains! That means somebody's sleep. ......Beep the horn so they wake up!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:On an elevator with kids, a black guy walks on and one of my kids says yum a chocolate guy

bahahahaha!!!

My 3 yo thinks every black 3 yo girl she meets or sees is her one black friend at preschool and will often go up and ask them "are you (child's name)?". I am mortified because I'm Asian and totally get the "all Asians look alike" thing all the time. . .wish she would stop doing that!!

[Anonymous]

For reasons that are unclear to me, when we were walking down the street, my 17 month old DDS (who is white) ran up to an elderly, overweight, african american man, hugged his legs, and screamed "daddy!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For reasons that are unclear to me, when we were walking down the street, my 17 month old DDS (who is white) ran up to an elderly, overweight, african american man, hugged his legs, and screamed "daddy!"

I bet it made his day! Or at least, I hope it did...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For a time my DD was fascinated with trucks: garbage trucks, fire trucks, tow trucks, sem-trucks, tank trucks... and very vocal about seeing them, in whatever place she happened to be... except the "tr" sound came out as "f" ... at the top of her lungs... in public places..."MOMMY, DADDY LOOK AT THE F. UCK OVER THERE! ! ! THAT'S A REALLY BIG F. UCK ! ! "

We didn't make a big deal about her pronounciation and..THANKFULLLY this "phase" lasted only about two weeks

This was our nephew too, and he couldn't say the "l" in "flag." He also used "too many" to mean "a lot." So driving by a truck dealership with lots of waving flags one afternoon, he got very excited and started yelling from the backseat "too many fags, too many fucks!" Over and over. The phase lasted longer than two weeks, but did eventually pass.

[Anonymous]

We had a book of the planets I used to read with DD nearly every night. In fact, we read it so often she learned the names of every planet by heart. And she'd often recite them:

"...Jupiter, Neptune, My Anus, Pluto..."

[Anonymous]

Love all of these! Love this one a lot:

During children's time up front at church, my son blurts out, "my mom says our ancestors are apes!"

My son is too young for these but we have some family ones: my middle sister was always the naughty one, and they were threatening her with Santa not coming one year. She thought about it awhile, and then said, "that's ok, I guess I'll just play with Kathy's toys" (meaning my toys)

She also once told me during present opening "You open, I'll squeal!"

Same sister's son: we'd play that game "what does x say" - cow says moo, dog says woof, etc. Then we'd say "what does Daddy say" and he'd scrunch his face, hold out a finger, and say "NO! NO, NO!"

[Anonymous]

My toddler doesn't speak yet, but makes that noise where she sticks her tongue out and spits, 'ppllllhhhhh.'

She we're all sitting around one day and my husband says, 'Gee, DD sure is farting a lot.'

I said, 'honey, little girls do not fart.'

'Well, then, what do they do?'

As if on cue, DD made the noise, 'pplllllhhh.'

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Love all of these! Love this one a lot:

During children's time up front at church, my son blurts out, "my mom says our ancestors are apes!"

My son is too young for these but we have some family ones: my middle sister was always the naughty one, and they were threatening her with Santa not coming one year. She thought about it awhile, and then said, "that's ok, I guess I'll just play with Kathy's toys" (meaning my toys)

She also once told me during present opening "You open, I'll squeal!"

Same sister's son: we'd play that game "what does x say" - cow says moo, dog says woof, etc. Then we'd say "what does Daddy say" and he'd scrunch his face, hold out a finger, and say "NO! NO, NO!"

HILARIOUS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For a time my DD was fascinated with trucks: garbage trucks, fire trucks, tow trucks, sem-trucks, tank trucks... and very vocal about seeing them, in whatever place she happened to be... except the "tr" sound came out as "f" ... at the top of her lungs... in public places..."MOMMY, DADDY LOOK AT THE F. UCK OVER THERE! ! ! THAT'S A REALLY BIG F. UCK ! ! "

We didn't make a big deal about her pronounciation and..THANKFULLLY this "phase" lasted only about two weeks

This was our nephew too, and he couldn't say the "l" in "flag." He also used "too many" to mean "a lot." So driving by a truck dealership with lots of waving flags one afternoon, he got very excited and started yelling from the backseat "too many fags, too many fucks!" Over and over. The phase lasted longer than two weeks, but did eventually pass.

My mom had my son for a weekend and called me up to tell me that he came downstairs, slammed the door open and said "What's all this shit in here?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been struggling with a chronic disease for the last 19 years. There is no cure - it relapses and then remission. I have a fairly severe form. Right now, I am having my first relapse in months and have been in bed for a few weeks. Tonight at dinner, I was asked by my 10 YO DS, "So Mom, what are these online universities?" I went ahead an explained that they allow you take courses over the internet, using readings, webchats, and even video conferences. DS replied, "That's great to know. Because if something happens to you or Dad and I'm away at college, it means I can come home and take care you and still work on school! I wouldn't want you to be by yourself."

Aww! Took my breath away. I wish he didn't have to think like this. But I am proud of his empathy and anxious for his anxiety. He's an only child.

Please share your kids' observations - any kind - silly, practical, funny - all welcome.

Okay, tearing up now! Great kid, OP. Best of luck to you and your family.

[Anonymous]

My eleven year old daughter was talking on the phone to my mother in California when she hung up rather suddenly. I asked why and she said " Oh, Grandma had to go because the Terminator was at the door". She meant to say the exterminator but all I could see my mind was Arnold Schwarzneggers face!