Kids Say the Darndest Things to Surprise You - Add Yours

[Anonymous]

I have been struggling with a chronic disease for the last 19 years. There is no cure - it relapses and then remission. I have a fairly severe form. Right now, I am having my first relapse in months and have been in bed for a few weeks. Tonight at dinner, I was asked by my 10 YO DS, "So Mom, what are these online universities?" I went ahead an explained that they allow you take courses over the internet, using readings, webchats, and even video conferences. DS replied, "That's great to know. Because if something happens to you or Dad and I'm away at college, it means I can come home and take care you and still work on school! I wouldn't want you to be by yourself."

Aww! Took my breath away. I wish he didn't have to think like this. But I am proud of his empathy and anxious for his anxiety. He's an only child.

Please share your kids' observations - any kind - silly, practical, funny - all welcome.

[Anonymous]

That's such a great kid you have, OP. Good job on raising him!

Once, my brother went up to fix the roof with my dad (he was abt 6yo - I know, what was my dad thinking, right?) and when he saw how big the house was from up there he said, "Wow! So when I grow up to be a dad myself I'll have to buy a house this big? I'll have to work a lot! Just like you, dad!"

Up to this day my dad remembers this event and says that he was torn to thing about the anxiety on my brother's heart and felt really proud to know that my brother was looking up to him with admiration setting him as an example.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP, you have a great kid, indeed.

[Anonymous]

Great thread! And I agree - OP, your son sounds like a peach.

My DS is too young to actually speak; however, at about 7 months old we were playing on the bed and he kicked me hard in the throat. Then, in his meaningless baby babble, said clearly, "I know karate." DH and I almost fell on the floor laughing.

[Anonymous]

It was cold out. My mom, in front of my toddler daughter, said, "Does Katie have a turtleneck?" My daughter responded, "No, I have a Katie neck."

[Anonymous]

My 3 yo DD had been digging around my office while I was working, which was irritating me a little. I said to her "you are just so curious!" and she responded sounding rather hurt and a little mad "I'm NOT a monkey!!!!"

[Anonymous]

At a party this weekend my 2.5 y/o DD walked into a crowded room and announced "I'm looking for two husbands."

[Anonymous]

Took DD to the grocery store years ago. She was acting up in some way, can't really remember the details around it. I told her to behave. Her response:

"I'm being have"

It was priceless!!

[Anonymous]

I was at the grocery store with then 2 yo DD buying two things - a gallon of milk and a large bottle of wine. At the check out, DD tells the man standing behind us "that's my milk" pointing to the gallon of milk and "that's mommy's wine" pointing to the wine. We definitely got some curious looks. . .and no, I'm not a wino.

[Anonymous]

On Christmas Eve, we helped our 2 year old son put out a snack for Santa next to the fireplace. I turned around for a moment to straighten up the room, and my son gulped down half the milk we had put out.

Me: "DS, that's Santa's milk!"

DS: "Santa can drink water."

LOL

[Anonymous]

OP here: I love these stories. Kids really can say the most amazing things!

"Santa can drink water!" Hilarious!

[Anonymous]

When the oldest I used to nanny for was about 2 he was playing with some Thomas the Train stickers leftover from a plane trip. Unfortunately, they were hard to get to get out of the sticker book so we had to help him and in one case, Henry's smokestack ripped off.

He looked rather upset and studied the sticker, trying to put the teeny smokestack back on. He then gave us an indignant look and signed "Henry likes his smokestack"

When the youngest was about 15 months we were sitting eating dinner (cheese and bean quesadillas). The 15 month old wouldn't touch it and kept giving us looks. Finally he points to a bean stuck to the side of his plate and signs "bug. There's a bug right there"

His dad told him "it's not a bug. It's a bean. You can eat it, see?" and ate it. The 15 month old's eyes boggled as he stared at all of us, casting looks at his plate and signing "bug" over and over with a disgusted look on his face.

[Anonymous]

My sister was getting out of the shower one day and my toddler nephew saw her naked and said to her (while pointing at her boobs) "thems boobs. Need bigger ones."

[Anonymous]

My 7 year old son asked me recently "How long have you been married?"

14 years.

"Was Daddy like he is now when you got married? Was he always in a bad mood?"

Umm, not really, he was, uh, a little different ....

"Yeah, 'cause I was gonna say! Why would you get married to him if he was like he is now?!?"

[Anonymous]

I used the word incompetent to describe a cashier at Walmart (I know I know) and later in the week my charge called his dad "in fuck a dent". He had fallen off the bike his dad had just assembled so he was crying and saying "in fuck a dent" over and over again. I nearly died.