Leaving 16-month old for 9 days?

[Anonymous]

An idea -

We recently took a parent-only vacation and were gone for 7 days. We have a 2 1/2 year old, and a 10 month old. I know the ages were slightly different, but here's what we did. We took our laptop computer and purchased a couple of web cams - cost around $50 bucks. We took one with us and left one at home. We tapped a mini video each day and sent it home for my kids to watch. They did the same. We had planned to even do a live chat, but it didn't work out. We got to see the kids each day (which helped us know they were having fun and ok) and they saw us each day - telling them we loved them and missed them. My mom had our son show us the pictures he colored, or other activities - he even sang a song for us one day.

I would go, and don't feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: As for the comment about not being able to reach her, god forbid, for 24 hours, that's ridiculous. Have you seen a map lately? Argentina's not that far away. That's there and back and, obviously includes layovers, and not just time in an airplane. Let's not get overly dramatic.

OP here -- I believe what I said was that it takes a full 24 hours to get there and back, not that I would be unreachable for 24 hours straight, and I have to say the "have you looked a map lately" comment was completely uncalled for. I'm soliciting advice here, not rude, sarcastic comments. The itinerary for the flights we have on hold has us leaving National at around 11:00 a.m., layover in Dallas and arriving Buenos Aires around 9:00 the next morning. Clearly we'll have a lot of time at the Dallas airport where I can call home, and this travel time was not my issue for not going but rather the reason we were planning on making it a longer vacation because we have to tack on a full day for travel on the front and back end. Anyway, that being said, we have decided to go and I feel comfortable with my decision. Of course I'm still going to be a bit anxious and miss my daughter terribly, but not enough to not enjoy my vacation. I thank everyone for their insightful responses on both sides of the coin. My main rationale is that this is a long overdue vacation/bonding time for me and my husband, and an opportunity we very well may not have again for many years when/if baby #2 enters the picture.

[Anonymous]

Well said and well done, OP! I guess I'm a really bad mom - we're going away for a full two weeks to Italy in the spring and baby will only be a year old at that time.

I plan to enjoy every single last minute of it.

[Anonymous]

Friends of mine took a trip when they're children were 3 and about 16 months. The trip was over a week - about 9 days I think. They also left the kids with the in-laws (husband's parents). The kids did fine. It was harder on the parents, I think. The kids also see the in laws frequently - so they were used to being with them. The fact that your parents will be coming to your house will probably help with your child's comfort level.

[Anonymous]

I'm one of the PPs who counseled you not to go--I guess I'm one of those martyr moms. And honestly, I couldn't do it, but equally honestly, I think it's wonderful that you can, and I hope you and your husband have a great time!

[Anonymous]

I ditto the PP. We have a four day rule for trips, and I've only managed that once. That being said, I'm plain old jealous of those who can stay away longer. Have a wonderful trip!

[Anonymous]

Have a great time!! Maybe take some tango lessons before you go just for fun!! All in all it iswonderful for some much needed romance!!

[Anonymous]

my sister left her baby for 7 days when baby was about the same age and she said she regretted it greatly. i would reconsider you plans. that is a long time to leave a child that age. maybe you can go on a trip with these friends some other time and just take a weekend trip. kids are only little once. good luck.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP going away on the trip for two weeks - absolutely right that kids are only little once, but for us, I think we need to pace ourselves a little if that makes any sense. We're planning on probably four, maybe five kids. So - given that we only have one now, I think this trip (for us) is a great idea! Totally get all the other posts, thought.

[Anonymous]

GO!!!! I took great trips when both my children were young usually every year. I do not regret it and am soo happy I did. It was a huge part of who I was pre kids and who me and my husband were as a couple. . .the kids will be fine. Sounds like your child care is good. See if you can email while you are gone, set up a yahoo account if needed and go to an internet cafe. Otherewise, just relax, your child will be fine, you will be refreshed. It is a personal decision, but by no means think that you are a bad mom at all for going. It's a long road, and children need to know there parents have a life separate from them, as well. I have never heard of an adult saying they were traumatized as a child by their parent's taking a vacation once in a while. ENJOY!!! (PS it's a beautiful and fun place!)

[Anonymous]

hey, thanks! Your post really made me smile.

[Anonymous]

I say GO! and enjoy yourself! My parents frequently went on vacations or to visit family overseas and were gone for 2 weeks. I barely remember them going and so will your child. HAve fun, you deserve it, call when you can. My hubby and I plan to go to Italy for our 5 year wedding anniversary. Though I will miss DD I need some time too.

It sounds like a fun trip!

[Anonymous]

I left my son with my aunt for 7 or 8 days at 15 or 16 months old. He had a fabulous time (they live in the country and had a lot of room for him to run around). He was with my 24/7 up until that point so I was drained and needed to get away. My aunt is retired and her grandkids were older. She loves babies and toddlers so she really enjoyed the time w/ him. I REALLY enjoyed the time away to feel like myself again. I went to Canada and was 2 plan rides away but just made sure my aunt had a medical release form if my son got hurt or sick and needed to go to the hospital. I would definitely go and not feel guilty one bit. SAHM who are with their kids all day everyday do need a break and your daughter is really too young to be damaged by your leaving. Tons of moms travel this long for business and I am sure they are not questioning themselves everytime they go. Have fun!

[Anonymous]

Cheers to you! I believe very strongly that making the time to enjoy your spouse is actually a terrific gift that you give to your kids. Kids know when their parents are in love, want to spend time together and make each other the priority. And I believe that it is a wonderful thing for kids to see this from a young age. I admire anyone who makes an effort to keep the fire burning after the kids are born. Have agreat time!

[Anonymous]

I have to admit, I'm completely fascinated by how many people want to vacation without their kids. That would have never occurred to me. A weekend--yes, but not a real vacation. For OP herself, as a SAHM, I agree--YOU don't need to feel guilty. You get to spend 24/7 with DD and at her age, she probably still doesn't have a great sense of time/length of time.

But I would have to assume that OP's husband works full time. So, he's probably away from her at least 5 days every week, and now is using a good chunk of vacation time that could be spent with her to vacation with friends. Hm. I find that disheartening. For all I know, OP's husband could be independently wealthy or could work from home and see DD all the time. But surely that isn't the case with all of the long vacation supporters on here.

I don' t think that is mommy/parent martyrdom. Once you decide to have a family, to me, you should want to do things as a family. You give up the life you had a single, or as a married couple before kids. The doesn't mean you give up all fun. I'm all for romantic getaway weekends to keep a marriage going. I'm all for girls' weekends or guys' weekends. I've done both (meaning a weekend here or there with DH and a girls' weekend away), and had a great time. But by the end of the weekend, I wanted to be back with my munchkins. I'm perfectly happy making our longer vacations kid-friendly. Before you know it, they will be old enough to go on the white water rafting and skiing trips and you are back to vacationing the way you remember (and you get to relive your childhood in the meantime). I guess somebody had to be a critic...