Preschool complaining about 4 year old

[Anonymous]

I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your Preschool is trying to let you know what is going on with your kid is beyond the scope of "normal" for a child her age... think of this as a gift to get her screened so you can find the best way to help her no matter what is going on.

+1

OP sounds like you are going all the right things including looking for a better fit preschool. That said, I think 45 mins sounds like a lot but in a day at our play-based school they have (before lunch): centers (with some rotating of too many kids want to do the same one), circle time, playing outside or going on a walk. They have to get sun screened, wash hands etc when told to. So it's a lot of transition even if the activities are mostly unstructured.

[Anonymous]

Decrease the hounding and negotiation at home. She gets a warning, a command, and a reminder - that’s it. Or that should be the goal you’re working towards.


It sounds like you’re letting transitions drag forever at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

i agree- my kid is at a reggio preschool that we LOVE but there's similar amount of transitions-- play in room 30 min, snack, bathroom break, go outside, play more, lunch, bathroom break. montessori sounds like a horrible fit for a kid that has potential adhd/asd

[Anonymous]

Your child clearly has ADHD and needs to be evaluated.

[Anonymous]

Spirited and strong willed are coded language for difficult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

I thought it sounded like a lot but see your points here. However, OP sounds like she’s talking about FT hours which can be a lot more to manage than a 3 hour day like you describe. Maybe she can share more about what a typical day looks like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your child clearly has ADHD and needs to be evaluated.

Although it’s a possibility, children don’t “clearly” have adhd at 4.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Decrease the hounding and negotiation at home. She gets a warning, a command, and a reminder - that’s it. Or that should be the goal you’re working towards.


It sounds like you’re letting transitions drag forever at home.

This. Parents often don’t even realize the they say things like “do you want to take a bath now?” Instead of “it’s bath time” and kids think it’s up for negotiation. Then if the kid keeps playing and you let them keep playing 5 minutes Monday and 3 minutes Tuesday and 10 minutes Wednesday, you are setting your kid up to know you’ll break if they push you. Inconsistency is the worst for strong willed kids.

Be clear with your communication and expectations and follow through.

Do this before blaming the teacher and pursuing diagnoses. Look for a parent coach or watch super nanny to get ideas. Also, be on the same page with your spouse, use the same language and have the same expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

I agree. More than 45 minutes for circle time (for example) is not age appropriate. Kids should not be expected to sit for 45 minutes for their lunch period. I’m all for extended outside play and free play indoors if it fits in the schedule, but I’m not sure which preschool has longer than 45 minutes for different blocks on the regular

—former preschool teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

i agree- my kid is at a reggio preschool that we LOVE but there's similar amount of transitions-- play in room 30 min, snack, bathroom break, go outside, play more, lunch, bathroom break. montessori sounds like a horrible fit for a kid that has potential adhd/asd

OP here. Perhaps transitions was the wrong term?

They change classrooms every 45 minutes. For example:

9:00am - Homeroom/Circle Time (30 mins)
9:45am - Science Room
10:30am - Art Room
11:15am - Playground

Etc. until pick up 5:30pm. Clean up/Bathroom/Wash Hands I did not include, but it's all in there as well. I had a good talk with her teachers and they're determined to work with her and try different tools to help support her and was told she had a really good day yesterday.

I'm looking into getting further evaluation and researching play-based programs in the area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

i agree- my kid is at a reggio preschool that we LOVE but there's similar amount of transitions-- play in room 30 min, snack, bathroom break, go outside, play more, lunch, bathroom break. montessori sounds like a horrible fit for a kid that has potential adhd/asd

OP here. Perhaps transitions was the wrong term?

They change classrooms every 45 minutes. For example:

9:00am - Homeroom/Circle Time (30 mins)
9:45am - Science Room
10:30am - Art Room
11:15am - Playground

Etc. until pick up 5:30pm. Clean up/Bathroom/Wash Hands I did not include, but it's all in there as well. I had a good talk with her teachers and they're determined to work with her and try different tools to help support her and was told she had a really good day yesterday.

I'm looking into getting further evaluation and researching play-based programs in the area.

And also take accountability of your parenting and communication…I bet there are tweaks you can make.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a special educator with experience in inclusive play based programs, and I am curious about people saying that transitions on average every 45 minutes is a lot. Here is the schedule for the last preschool I taught, on days we didn’t have music class.

9:00 Car to playing on the playground
9:30 playground to bathroom to wash hands
9:35 bathroom to snack table
9:45 snack to circle time (song, finger play, story time)
10:00 circle to free play in the classroom
10:55 free play to clean up
11:05 clean up to outside play
11:55 outside play to waiting for carpool
12:00 waiting to going home

So, a simple day with lots of free play and still 9 transitions in a 3 hour day, and an average of a transition every 20 minutes.

45 minute average between transition is longer than I have ever seen. Maybe a Montessori classroom, but even then I think there are going to be more than people think yes, you might have one long work block, but kids are transitioning from working by themselves to being asked to do a group with a teacher etc . . .

i agree- my kid is at a reggio preschool that we LOVE but there's similar amount of transitions-- play in room 30 min, snack, bathroom break, go outside, play more, lunch, bathroom break. montessori sounds like a horrible fit for a kid that has potential adhd/asd

+3 OP a 45 min average transition frequency doesn't seem out of line.

I also agree with PP. For Montessori or any other high autonomy, low transition preschool, my concern would be about teacher experience and skill. Without an exceptional teacher, a child with inflexibility and low frustration tolerance could become more entrenched.

OP I recommend Dan Shapiro's parenting class, Parent Child Journey. https://www.parentchildjourney.com/journey/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your child clearly has ADHD and needs to be evaluated.

Although it’s a possibility, children don’t “clearly” have adhd at 4.

It's ridiculous to diagnose a child over the Internet, but a few children do clearly have ADHD at 4. That being said, difficulty with transitions isn't what it looks like in my experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Decrease the hounding and negotiation at home. She gets a warning, a command, and a reminder - that’s it. Or that should be the goal you’re working towards.


It sounds like you’re letting transitions drag forever at home.

This. Parents often don’t even realize the they say things like “do you want to take a bath now?” Instead of “it’s bath time” and kids think it’s up for negotiation. Then if the kid keeps playing and you let them keep playing 5 minutes Monday and 3 minutes Tuesday and 10 minutes Wednesday, you are setting your kid up to know you’ll break if they push you. Inconsistency is the worst for strong willed kids.

Be clear with your communication and expectations and follow through.

Do this before blaming the teacher and pursuing diagnoses. Look for a parent coach or watch super nanny to get ideas. Also, be on the same page with your spouse, use the same language and have the same expectations.

I agree with this. I still remember getting in trouble in kindergarten for saying, "No," when the teacher asked, "Does everybody want to sing I've Been Working on the Railroad?" Hey, she asked! I wanted to sing something else. Be clear and consice. I remember it because I thought she was being unfair.