Preschool complaining about 4 year old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, if they are going to start "documenting," I think her chances of admission to your DC1's prestigious school may be diminishing. Move her to a program that's a better fit for her.

+1

Especially if you start blaming the teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an early childhood educator, I would see if you could find a different program that doesn't have every 45 minute transitions! That's a LOT for 4 year olds. At my former program our children were heavily involved in play and exploration from arrival at 8am until we went outside at 10am. Then they were outside until 11:30am when they came in for lunch. That means that they didn't HAVE to transition - in the 2 hour indoor time at the beginning of the day, each child probably did 10 different things, but it was based on their interest and how they moved through the room. All children didn't have to move en masse - until it was time to go outside.

See the difference? See if you can find a play-based program. If you tell us where you are, you might find some new options

I’m also an early childhood educator and a transition change every 45 minutes is a lot!

May I ask why you signed up for this particular program and are you able to switch to a play based program with less transitions?

This is the program her sibling was in and it was great for him. It was great for DD until she moved to this class.

It's possible her challenges are becoming more noticeable as the classes mature. I'll start researching play-based programs.

[Anonymous]

I would definitely hold her back if you're not already thinking of doing so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would definitely hold her back if you're not already thinking of doing so.

It's crossed my mind.

DD just turned 4 a couple months ago so it will be a bit before she's going into Kinder, she moved into the 4 year old class early... not sure why actually. I think it had to do with space needing to be freed up in the 3s class. Regardless, I'm not opposed to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A Montessori program with a long “work period” and choice in activities might be good for her.

+ 1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the comments and recommendations.

A few details without giving myself away just in case. My DD's preschool is a 'feeder' preschool to a academically rigorous private school that her sibling is at. I just compared my elementary school child's schedule with my preschooler and my older child has far less transitions. DD's preschool teacher is new and this is her first year as a lead teacher. My DD had a similar schedule in her 3 year old class with no known issues, but that class had a seasoned teacher that ADORED her.

DD is very strong willed, very social and spirited. She has a strong desire for independence and we give her many opportunities at home to do things on her own.

We did bring up concerns to our pediatrician at her last well check and a ASQ (?) screening was done and she scored in the white zone for all areas which they said means she was developing as expected. However, I do see some traits that look like ADHD to me. She's high energy, impulsive and very sensitive to people being upset with her. She often says that she feels like "nobody likes her." But she does well during sit down activities, listening during story time, taking turns, etc.

I don't want to dismiss her teacher, clearly she's behaving out of step of her peers and perhaps further evaluation or we need to look for a school that's a better fit for her... We'll see how the next few months go and see if we can find improvement together.

Watchful waiting is not the solution. Time is not your friend here. I second the Childfind or similar evaluation resource.

--parent of now college age ADHD/ASD student who was counseled out of private-K (after similar concerns in pre-K)

[Anonymous]

Start using the language "it's time to" at home. I laughed the other day when my 18 year old told me it was time to do something-- I guess it really stuck lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should:
- request a child find screening from the school district
- if they decline to evaluate get a private occupational therapy evaluation and start services. Then after a few months consult with the therapist to see if she needs further evaluation and ask what the main concerns are

If the preschool is documenting behaviors they may be looking to counsel her out. If you need child care I would start looking for inclusive programs like Easter Seals or Karasik where teachers may have more experience and willingness to manage the behaviors.

OP, I am this poster. It sounds like you already know this, but in case I am assuming wrong, don't take normal results on the ASQ as ruling out developmental issues. Pediatricians really don't spend enough time with children to rule out ADHD or similar issues. It is always okay to pursue child find screening and other evaluations on your own if you are worried. If preschool teachers are documenting behaviors, consider this very useful information to share with child find and other clinicians.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah my favorite follow up...it's the teacher, not your kid.

Yep! Classic.

[Anonymous]

Your Preschool is trying to let you know what is going on with your kid is beyond the scope of "normal" for a child her age... think of this as a gift to get her screened so you can find the best way to help her no matter what is going on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for all the comments and recommendations.

A few details without giving myself away just in case. My DD's preschool is a 'feeder' preschool to a academically rigorous private school that her sibling is at. I just compared my elementary school child's schedule with my preschooler and my older child has far less transitions. DD's preschool teacher is new and this is her first year as a lead teacher. My DD had a similar schedule in her 3 year old class with no known issues, but that class had a seasoned teacher that ADORED her.

DD is very strong willed, very social and spirited. She has a strong desire for independence and we give her many opportunities at home to do things on her own.

We did bring up concerns to our pediatrician at her last well check and a ASQ (?) screening was done and she scored in the white zone for all areas which they said means she was developing as expected. However, I do see some traits that look like ADHD to me. She's high energy, impulsive and very sensitive to people being upset with her. She often says that she feels like "nobody likes her." But she does well during sit down activities, listening during story time, taking turns, etc.

I don't want to dismiss her teacher, clearly she's behaving out of step of her peers and perhaps further evaluation or we need to look for a school that's a better fit for her... We'll see how the next few months go and see if we can find improvement together.

Watchful waiting is not the solution. Time is not your friend here. I second the Childfind or similar evaluation resource.

--parent of now college age ADHD/ASD student who was counseled out of private-K (after similar concerns in pre-K)

+1

OP the traits you mentioned above are what we experienced with our HF ASD daughter. Our ped NEVER caught it. A few very good intune teachers gave us subtle hints. She was not diagnosed until 15 but looking back I remember what you describe. She is on anxiety meds and therapy and doing great!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an early childhood educator, I would see if you could find a different program that doesn't have every 45 minute transitions! That's a LOT for 4 year olds. At my former program our children were heavily involved in play and exploration from arrival at 8am until we went outside at 10am. Then they were outside until 11:30am when they came in for lunch. That means that they didn't HAVE to transition - in the 2 hour indoor time at the beginning of the day, each child probably did 10 different things, but it was based on their interest and how they moved through the room. All children didn't have to move en masse - until it was time to go outside.

See the difference? See if you can find a play-based program. If you tell us where you are, you might find some new options

I’m also an early childhood educator and a transition change every 45 minutes is a lot!

May I ask why you signed up for this particular program and are you able to switch to a play based program with less transitions?

This is the program her sibling was in and it was great for him. It was great for DD until she moved to this class.

It's possible her challenges are becoming more noticeable as the classes mature. I'll start researching play-based programs.

She’s not her sibling. They are not clones. Why are you being so rigid? Don’t be that parent who ignores your child’s challenges.

[Anonymous]

Evaluate AND get a new environment with fewer transitions. Look at play based, forest schools, and accredited Montessori programs.

[Anonymous]

I guess I’m firmly in the play based preschool camp, but this preschool sounds awful. It’s very hard to diagnose a 4 year old because things like difficulty transitioning activities are so normal. I have a kid who would have been a disaster at 4 at a program like the one you describe who is now thriving in elementary school. I would question the structure of this preschool program. And given the issues you describe, I think it’s frankly bizarre that your child moved up classes early. I’m guessing this had little to do with your child’s needs and more to do with the kids they wanted to admit and the money they wanted to make on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 4 year old DD is strong willed and resists transitions at preschool, which occur every 45 mins. She'll run and hide like a game or stay put until a teacher convinces her to join the group. Once she's at the new activity, she's fine, but it's stressing out the teachers who need to stay on schedule to the point where they said they need to start documenting her behavior. She's been in the class for 6 months and this is the first I've heard of this specific problem. Typically at pick up I'm told she had a great day... I'm not sure what to do or how to help her. At home, she resists bedtimes, anything unfun, but it happens with typical hounding. We keep a schedule and are able to stick to it, but there aren't 15 kids to wrangle.

Everyone on DCUM knows what this means