SD’s graduation issue turning into something bigger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

If she is special needs why didn't you or her parents make sure the cap and gown was taken care of? Three lazy adults. Go find one. If she's not graduating she cannot walk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP No, this isn’t a troll. My SD is in danger of not graduating, and I’m so worried about her. I’m trying to do every thing I can to help her. I’ll be calling the school now, and I’m still waiting for response from her counsellor. The cos and gown can’t be ordered on somewhere random like Amazon, because it’s specific to the school, so if the school doesn’t have it, I’ll have to ask community groups.

Yes, it can be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

Well maybe he should emotionally support her through this fear of launching or whatever her emotional issue is, and also physically obtain the cap and gown.

[Anonymous]

If my child tried any of this, I would simply tell her no. No you can't have the senior party anyway. No you can't switch to another school. No you can't delay college.

You try to get the gown, but if you can't get the gown, graduation still happens. If she is refusing to take a test because of this, you march her to school and sit down with the counselor and hash it out.

I'm not sure why you are not just saying "ABSOLUTELY NOT" to this child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If my child tried any of this, I would simply tell her no. No you can't have the senior party anyway. No you can't switch to another school. No you can't delay college.

You try to get the gown, but if you can't get the gown, graduation still happens. If she is refusing to take a test because of this, you march her to school and sit down with the counselor and hash it out.

I'm not sure why you are not just saying "ABSOLUTELY NOT" to this child.

This, don't humor this. This is probably fake. And, if she doesn't take the test, does not graduate there are consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

OP. He is a good parent, just not hands on. He has two older adult kids, who are fully self sufficient and launched.

She’s not special needs. I called the school, and they said that I needed to talk to the grad department/counselor, which I already did, and still waiting to hear back from.

[Anonymous]

Am I crazy or was this not already posted but from the dads persepctive?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

OP. He is a good parent, just not hands on. He has two older adult kids, who are fully self sufficient and launched.

She’s not special needs. I called the school, and they said that I needed to talk to the grad department/counselor, which I already did, and still waiting to hear back from.

Eyeroll. There is no such thing. And lots of crap parents have successful kids so his other two prove nothing.

He needs to step up for his daughter, not dump her problems on you. That's the bottom line here. This is a cry for help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP No, this isn’t a troll. My SD is in danger of not graduating, and I’m so worried about her. I’m trying to do every thing I can to help her. I’ll be calling the school now, and I’m still waiting for response from her counsellor. The cos and gown can’t be ordered on somewhere random like Amazon, because it’s specific to the school, so if the school doesn’t have it, I’ll have to ask community groups.

Where are her parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

And where is her MOM?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

OP. He is a good parent, just not hands on. He has two older adult kids, who are fully self sufficient and launched.

She’s not special needs. I called the school, and they said that I needed to talk to the grad department/counselor, which I already did, and still waiting to hear back from.

Eyeroll. There is no such thing. And lots of crap parents have successful kids so his other two prove nothing.

He needs to step up for his daughter, not dump her problems on you. That's the bottom line here. This is a cry for help.

OP. Most women complain about the way their husbands parent, and how hands off they are. So, he’s just like all the other Dads.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

And where is her MOM?

My stepdaughters mother moved out of school last year for work. My stepdaughter chose to stay here, and visit her mom during breaks/ holidays, etc. She plans to spend summer this summer there too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

OP. He is a good parent, just not hands on. He has two older adult kids, who are fully self sufficient and launched.

She’s not special needs. I called the school, and they said that I needed to talk to the grad department/counselor, which I already did, and still waiting to hear back from.

Eyeroll. There is no such thing. And lots of crap parents have successful kids so his other two prove nothing.

He needs to step up for his daughter, not dump her problems on you. That's the bottom line here. This is a cry for help.

OP. Most women complain about the way their husbands parent, and how hands off they are. So, he’s just like all the other Dads.

No, he isn't. Lots of men are much more involved and do the actual work and the hard parts rather than just spending time with the kid.

Since he's such a great dad, what is he doing to help his daughter with this complex situation?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

OP. He is a good parent, just not hands on. He has two older adult kids, who are fully self sufficient and launched.

She’s not special needs. I called the school, and they said that I needed to talk to the grad department/counselor, which I already did, and still waiting to hear back from.

Eyeroll. There is no such thing. And lots of crap parents have successful kids so his other two prove nothing.

He needs to step up for his daughter, not dump her problems on you. That's the bottom line here. This is a cry for help.

OP. Most women complain about the way their husbands parent, and how hands off they are. So, he’s just like all the other Dads.

No, he isn't. Lots of men are much more involved and do the actual work and the hard parts rather than just spending time with the kid.

Since he's such a great dad, what is he doing to help his daughter with this complex situation?

He loves his children. He is a great dad. He has done work over the years, just not everything. I don’t think being hands on is what makes you a good dad or not. He did a lot, took them all to their school meetings, doctor appointments, some games, etc. We’re working on solving this together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP My stepdaughter isn’t failing any classes, but there are other requirements for graduation. The thing is that she wants to delay graduation to not complete some of the other requirements, so that she isn’t officially graduated yet, and can instead enroll and graduate at a new school, plus walk at that school too. She still wants to go ahead and do her other senior activities including her graduation party, even if she doesn’t complete school this year. She doesn’t want anyone (extended family & friends) to know about her possibly not finishing this year. She had access to a credit card to order her cap & gown, and it seems super simple, but she didn’t do it for whatever reason. I called the ordering company, but they said to contact the school. Her parents are caring, and she does receive attention from them.

PP that is a school admin: Instead of posting here- call the school now.
What other requirements are you referring to? Senior dues? You can pay them without her.

Returning school Chromebook, and chargers. Also, taking senior exams and tests.

It sounds like she is self-sabotaging because she is worried about taking the tests, worried about college, worried about all the transitions, who knows. I suggest you focus on the underlying reason, and maybe that she's concealing something.

You say she receives attention from her bio parents but is it enough. You said your DH is not very involved as a parent and that's probably very hard for her at this critical moment. No kid wants to be ignored by their bio parents no matter how nice their step-parents are.

OP She’s does have worries about the future. She also just really wants a ceremony, that she can participate in and fully enjoy at the same time. My husband isn’t very hands on. I did most of the hands on ‘parenting” part, but he’s physically and emotionally always there for her. They spend alot of time together, and are very close.

You said he isn't very involved! Now you're backtracking because people are calling out that your DH isn't a good parent and you have enabled him.

OP. He is a good parent, just not hands on. He has two older adult kids, who are fully self sufficient and launched.

She’s not special needs. I called the school, and they said that I needed to talk to the grad department/counselor, which I already did, and still waiting to hear back from.

Eyeroll. There is no such thing. And lots of crap parents have successful kids so his other two prove nothing.

He needs to step up for his daughter, not dump her problems on you. That's the bottom line here. This is a cry for help.

OP. Most women complain about the way their husbands parent, and how hands off they are. So, he’s just like all the other Dads.

No, he isn't. Lots of men are much more involved and do the actual work and the hard parts rather than just spending time with the kid.

Since he's such a great dad, what is he doing to help his daughter with this complex situation?

He loves his children. He is a great dad. He has done work over the years, just not everything. I don’t think being hands on is what makes you a good dad or not. He did a lot, took them all to their school meetings, doctor appointments, some games, etc. We’re working on solving this together.

Either he's hands off, like you originally said, or he's been hands off in THIS situation such that you're the one who is dealing with it.

If the issue is that you do not have the parental authority to require this kid to turn in the computer etc. and fill out the forms, you need to call in the parent who does have that authority. Right now, it sounds like the kid is running the show and every poster is telling you that's not okay.