Single friend with no dc never ever asks about my family or kids

[Anonymous]

I have noticed this type of thing before with a few specific women.

I’m not sure what it is but it’s a definite and noticeable discomfort with the topic of kids. It doesn’t even seem like annoyance or boredom, more like a very intentional unwillingness to engage or respond. And it’s genuinely not in response to some long winded story or precious moment.

I’ve only seen this in acquaintances and coworkers so I don’t know them well enough to know the root issue. With these types of relationships it’s easy to respond to “what did you do this weekend” with “went to X restaurant” or “saw x movie” and omit anything related to kids. I would not want to do this in a friendship, though.

[Anonymous]

She doesn’t have kids so doesn’t care about them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You do not have marriage or kids as common topics.

So, you are foolish if you expect her to have great insights. She is giving you as much knowledge she has because this is not a shared experience of parenthood for her.

Why don't you just enjoy her company? Remember that your thoughts alone can make life and life situations blissful or hellish. So, go do something constructive or go for a walk.

What is this response even trying to say???
It reminds me of the teacher on the Peanuts "wah, wah, wah ..."

[Anonymous]

I have kids. I don’t talk to my friends about my kids. That’s literally the last thing I wanna talk about when I’m hanging out with my friends.

Your friend doesn’t have kids—what on earth do you expect? You shouldn’t expect that she would want to talk about your kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have kids. I don’t talk to my friends about my kids. That’s literally the last thing I wanna talk about when I’m hanging out with my friends.

Your friend doesn’t have kids—what on earth do you expect? You shouldn’t expect that she would want to talk about your kid.

That her friend take an interest in her life?

I feel like there is this “moms are so annoying, don’t talk about your kids” overly hostile rhetoric out there and it really has informed how I talk about them (almost never). But I don’t think I could have a close relationship with someone who could only talk about themselves and not acknowledge challenges (involving kids or not) that I am dealing with.

[Anonymous]

My friends w younger kids never stop w the updates and pictures …
Its a bit exhausting at times. They literally only discuss their kids.


-Mother of two young adults

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have kids. I don’t talk to my friends about my kids. That’s literally the last thing I wanna talk about when I’m hanging out with my friends.

Your friend doesn’t have kids—what on earth do you expect? You shouldn’t expect that she would want to talk about your kid.

That her friend take an interest in her life?

I feel like there is this “moms are so annoying, don’t talk about your kids” overly hostile rhetoric out there and it really has informed how I talk about them (almost never). But I don’t think I could have a close relationship with someone who could only talk about themselves and not acknowledge challenges (involving kids or not) that I am dealing with.

Most mothers have more to talk about than just their kids: your comments are kind of ridiculous. The only people I talk about my kids with are my family members. I don’t talk to my friends about my kids and I don’t care to hear about my friends kids. Literally the only time I’m not with my kids is when I’m with another adult, and the last thing I want to do is rehash what’s going on with my kids.
I’ve never been able to stomach moms. The only talk about their kids with people. It’s really annoying. You’re a pretty boring person if you don’t have anything else to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have kids. I don’t talk to my friends about my kids. That’s literally the last thing I wanna talk about when I’m hanging out with my friends.

Your friend doesn’t have kids—what on earth do you expect? You shouldn’t expect that she would want to talk about your kid.

That her friend take an interest in her life?

I feel like there is this “moms are so annoying, don’t talk about your kids” overly hostile rhetoric out there and it really has informed how I talk about them (almost never). But I don’t think I could have a close relationship with someone who could only talk about themselves and not acknowledge challenges (involving kids or not) that I am dealing with.

Most mothers have more to talk about than just their kids: your comments are kind of ridiculous. The only people I talk about my kids with are my family members. I don’t talk to my friends about my kids and I don’t care to hear about my friends kids. Literally the only time I’m not with my kids is when I’m with another adult, and the last thing I want to do is rehash what’s going on with my kids.
I’ve never been able to stomach moms. The only talk about their kids with people. It’s really annoying. You’re a pretty boring person if you don’t have anything else to talk about.

I completely agree, my friends with children talk about lots of other things. But OPs friend seems self centered from what was described.

And yes, “I’ve never been able to stomach moms” is a great example of that weird hostile energy I was talking about

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
My friends w younger kids never stop w the updates and pictures …
Its a bit exhausting at times. They literally only discuss their kids.


-Mother of two young adults

I’ve never experienced this. I have acquaintances that post a ton online but scroll past or mute. In real life, I don't know anyone that only talks about kids.

[Anonymous]

I think OP needs to self-reflect first.

In the past, has OP spent most of the time with her friend talking about pregnancy/motherhood/kids experiences? Has it been for years now?

This may simply be a case of her friend having "had enough" over the years and has decided she's going to steer the conversations to other topics to avoid getting into a quagmire monologue.

[Anonymous]

I get why she is single. Narcissist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get why she is single. Narcissist.

Agree and all the people defending this behavior are purposely ignoring that op never said anything about talking about her kids all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does she not have kids because she doesn’t want them, or because she couldn’t have them?

Or was she raped as a child and doesn’t have kids because she’s terrified to bring a vulnerable child into this broken world? And would you even know if that was the case?

Many people who were terribly abused as children NEVER tell their friends and loved ones; many never even get therapy. Many only disclose in anonymous support groups, which was the only place I ever talked about it until my 50s when I finally disclosed to a therapist. Most of my very close friends and family know nothing about it.

I love my friends’ children and my nieces and nephews but it hurts me to be too close to them. You might look into attachment disorder and think about which kind your friend might have. What looks like self centeredness to a shallow thinker might in fact be profound pain.

Dp. You’re probably right but at a certain age, people have to face their challenges and learn to treat others better. Or they won’t have anyone around them.

Sadly, many victims of abuse become abusers themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She shows me pics of her life, talks about her issues etc and it’s like my world with dc doesn’t exist. When I mention them, she quickly rushes over the topic, often pathologizing them (if I mention dc has attention issues at school “oh he probably is on the spectrum and has ADD, you should get him on meds’ and then quickly pivots back to her life.

It’s tiring. Wwyd?

I'd realize it's a sore point for her. As we age and move from one phase of our life to the next, some people get left behind. It's not always easy to keep connections going with people who don't share the same life stage experiences.

[Anonymous]

This person obviously does not have a direct interest in your child which means that they cannot properly fit into your life the way it is now.

Sorry……