7th grade DD wants crop tops for school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You wear a crop top with high waisted pants and have barely any skin show. Or the same top with low rise pants/skirt and it looks trashy.

Mostly, it's the girls not knowing how to wear the fashion.

Overall though, if you don't let it in the house, less chance a crop will be worn. Not perfect. Generations have changed at school or removed something to look different at school, without parent knowledge.

This is true. But I think some of the 12 year olds want to show off especially to the boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:doesn't the school have a dress code?

Do any public schools have dress codes anymore? Ours doesn’t bc parents threw a fit about “policing girls’ bodies.” So pretty much anything goes as long as it isn’t racist or profanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:doesn't the school have a dress code?

Do any public schools have dress codes anymore? Ours doesn’t bc parents threw a fit about “policing girls’ bodies.” So pretty much anything goes as long as it isn’t racist or profanity.

Same at our school. That said, it was really sporadically and unevenly applied- especially when it comes to things like girls’ shorts (length). At a large high school, they aren’t going to “see” or notice every kid (and some staff members cared about the dress code a lot, while others did not). Also, an item might look more inappropriate on one girl vs the next- based on body type etc. Ended up leading to an accusations about favoritism or why some “get away with” certain shorts while others didn’t and so on…viral posts on social media etc.

[Anonymous]

There are a wide variety of crop tops and I’m sure you can come to a compromise if you take her shopping. This is what I went through with DD in 6th and 7th grade. We found fitted “crop” tops with high waist jeans and shorts that didn’t have barely any midriff showing. It’s much different than what you are imagining. I actually found the fitted ones more modest than the loose ones.

[Anonymous]

And adding to my post with practical advice, take her to Hollister to try on clothes. You can find some options there like I’m talking about. That is where we started at that age.

[Anonymous]

For what it's worth, my daughter tells me that many middle schoolers at her school tuck their shirts into their bra in order to create their own crop top. If girls are determined to wear this type of clothes, they will find a way. You are probably better off staying part of the process and finding the crop tops that feel acceptable to you.

[Anonymous]

Nancy Reagan, baby! Just say no. She's allowed to cry and pout. You can not doubt yourself just because your child pleads for something. YOU are the adult.

[Anonymous]

I hate them too, but if the school allows it then it’s not worth fighting. I agree with the posters who suggest shopping together.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden out of nowhere my DD is begging for new shirts that she sees a lot of girls wearing in middle school. Fitted crop tops, off the shoulder tops…I’m not comfortable with it. I’ve talked to her about it and I get tears and pouting. Not sure how to handle. Any advice?

Tell her if she wants you to consider it to give the tears and pouting a rest. If she wants to dress 16 stop acting 12.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden out of nowhere my DD is begging for new shirts that she sees a lot of girls wearing in middle school. Fitted crop tops, off the shoulder tops…I’m not comfortable with it. I’ve talked to her about it and I get tears and pouting. Not sure how to handle. Any advice?

Tell her if she wants you to consider it to give the tears and pouting a rest. If she wants to dress 16 stop acting 12.

Yep I mentioned that. I told her to stop with the dramatics.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen and wanted clothes my mom disapproved of, she said if you want it earn the money and buy it because I’m not buying it for you. I feel like that was a good compromise.

"This is my budget for x number of shirts. You may supplement with as much of your money to get what you want... as long as you get that number of shirts and they meet the dress code. You can buy anything that doesn't meet dress code entirely from your own money, and they don't count toward the required number."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I was a teen and wanted clothes my mom disapproved of, she said if you want it earn the money and buy it because I’m not buying it for you. I feel like that was a good compromise.

"This is my budget for x number of shirts. You may supplement with as much of your money to get what you want... as long as you get that number of shirts and they meet the dress code. You can buy anything that doesn't meet dress code entirely from your own money, and they don't count toward the required number."

Except I don’t want her getting stuff that doesn’t meet dress code to begin with.

[Anonymous]

Tell her no. Too bad with the tears and pouting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wear a crop top with high waisted pants and have barely any skin show. Or the same top with low rise pants/skirt and it looks trashy.

Mostly, it's the girls not knowing how to wear the fashion.

Overall though, if you don't let it in the house, less chance a crop will be worn. Not perfect. Generations have changed at school or removed something to look different at school, without parent knowledge.

This is true. But I think some of the 12 year olds want to show off especially to the boys.

My daughter still thinks boys are disgusting idiots as an 8th grader. But she loves to look like every other girl that is hearing Lulu, Alo, FP movement, hollister and aerie. While I know she and her friends “theoretically” like boys, they seem to be dressing for each other and not to get boys attention.

You are correct that some girls want to show off for boys. But I don’t think that is the case for any 12 year old girl in a crop top and 2.5 inch lulu shorts. And I say this as a woman who was boy crazy at age 12. My daughter and many of her friends don’t seem to have the same agenda about boys as myself and my friends in the 1980s when Daisy Dukes, a crop top and wearing a high pony with a swatch around it was all the rage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You wear a crop top with high waisted pants and have barely any skin show. Or the same top with low rise pants/skirt and it looks trashy.

Mostly, it's the girls not knowing how to wear the fashion.

Overall though, if you don't let it in the house, less chance a crop will be worn. Not perfect. Generations have changed at school or removed something to look different at school, without parent knowledge.

This is true. But I think some of the 12 year olds want to show off especially to the boys.

My daughter still thinks boys are disgusting idiots as an 8th grader. But she loves to look like every other girl that is hearing Lulu, Alo, FP movement, hollister and aerie. While I know she and her friends “theoretically” like boys, they seem to be dressing for each other and not to get boys attention.

You are correct that some girls want to show off for boys. But I don’t think that is the case for any 12 year old girl in a crop top and 2.5 inch lulu shorts. And I say this as a woman who was boy crazy at age 12. My daughter and many of her friends don’t seem to have the same agenda about boys as myself and my friends in the 1980s when Daisy Dukes, a crop top and wearing a high pony with a swatch around it was all the rage.

OP here. I know exactly what you mean. It’s because she sees other girls wearing this. She is heavily influenced by peers. I wish we had uniforms.