7th grade DD wants crop tops for school

[Anonymous]

I find the crop tops at that age to be cheap looking. Might as well add a high ponytail and gold hoop earrings to complete the look.

[Anonymous]

As long as she can wear other things she likes, and maybe a crop top on weekends, I guess it's fine.

I lived with a hyper-controlling mother raised on shame and guilt, and she dressed me in the most ugly, baggy clothing she could find. I once wore a tank top and shorts to walk to the corner store and she blamed me for attracting men's eyes. She did a whole lot of other things in the control-freak department, including not letting me socialize outside of school... so as soon as I could, I moved to a different continent and only visit her rarely.

I let my teen daughter wear whatever she wants, within reason, and never want to stifle her like my mother did to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the crop tops at that age to be cheap looking. Might as well add a high ponytail and gold hoop earrings to complete the look.

Yes, there are plenty of tween girls who dress like this in my over-educated, wealthy district. What's the problem, specifically, with that look?

[Anonymous]

School no, home or out with you, fine.

[Anonymous]

I’m a high school teacher and some of these girls clothes literally look like bikini tops. In some shorts I can see butt cheek.

I don't necessarily think showing some skin is inappropriate. I think if you’re constantly tugging at your clothes to make them cover everything they need to, it isn’t practical for school and THAT makes it inappropriate.

[Anonymous]

I think there is a wide range of what constitutes a crop top. You can absolutely say “no” as the parent. If you want to show some flexibility, you can shop together and perhaps find something that you are ok with in certain situations. Whatever you decide is fine.

And in 7th grade, I agree with the poster who said some kids rule stuff out themselves. Go in the dressing room and have them raise their arms, bend over to pick something up, etc. if you do decide to shop with her.

But I see middle school girls in all kinds of shorts, crop tops, etc. There are some I’m fine with for my kid and some I’m not. What I let her wear to the beach over a bikini is different than what she can wear for school, etc. She is also fully aware of how to appropriately dress for a wedding, dinner with grandma, etc.

My 71 year old aunt likes to remind me that she wore tube tops back in the day and is a woman who went to law school and became a partner at a law firm. She was of the era where the firms wanted to freaking call her husband for permission before they would hire her. She is very well respected in her field and doesn’t wear tube tops anymore.

[Anonymous]

This is not a battle I pick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find the crop tops at that age to be cheap looking. Might as well add a high ponytail and gold hoop earrings to complete the look.

We’re an American family, not religious, but would not allow those more revealing clothes. Doesn’t need to be like something out of the Dugger family household closet, but cover your child’s body, at least—the skimpier clothes DO often look low-class and whether you admit it or not, with the world we live in, people will give her less respect when dressed more revealingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m sure I’ll get crap for this, but I just straight up tell her no. In our house it is not appropriate for a 12 year old to wear crop tops to school. End of conversation. We’re British so maybe our standards for school attire are a bit different

No crap from me. DD doesn't show her belly at school, the end. Shrug. I've never wavered so there's no battle there. She wears plenty of other cute clothes; tanks with thin straps, shorts that are pretty short (but no cheeks showing), miniskirts, etc. At home she wears what she wants. I'm a physician and the analogy I use is that I have a uniform for work (scrubs) and she has a uniform for school (a reasonable outfit). At home we both chill in whatever we want. Boundaries work best when they're decisive.

[Anonymous]

You wear a crop top with high waisted pants and have barely any skin show. Or the same top with low rise pants/skirt and it looks trashy.

Mostly, it's the girls not knowing how to wear the fashion.

Overall though, if you don't let it in the house, less chance a crop will be worn. Not perfect. Generations have changed at school or removed something to look different at school, without parent knowledge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the crop tops at that age to be cheap looking. Might as well add a high ponytail and gold hoop earrings to complete the look.

Yes, there are plenty of tween girls who dress like this in my over-educated, wealthy district. What's the problem, specifically, with that look?

It just looks kind of trashy. Like the girls don’t respect themselves enough to think they’re valuable without showing all their skin.

[Anonymous]

I let her wear whatever she wants on the weekend/after school, but not to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find the crop tops at that age to be cheap looking. Might as well add a high ponytail and gold hoop earrings to complete the look.

Yes, there are plenty of tween girls who dress like this in my over-educated, wealthy district. What's the problem, specifically, with that look?

So? It’s cheap looking, what does your neighborhood or district have to do with it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As long as she can wear other things she likes, and maybe a crop top on weekends, I guess it's fine.

I lived with a hyper-controlling mother raised on shame and guilt, and she dressed me in the most ugly, baggy clothing she could find. I once wore a tank top and shorts to walk to the corner store and she blamed me for attracting men's eyes. She did a whole lot of other things in the control-freak department, including not letting me socialize outside of school... so as soon as I could, I moved to a different continent and only visit her rarely.

I let my teen daughter wear whatever she wants, within reason, and never want to stifle her like my mother did to me.

Most of us didn’t grow up with a disturbed mother. How you grew up shouldn’t make you lose your common sense. Tank tops and shorts are normal and your mother was probably a religious freak. 12 year olds aren’t being stifled because they need to hold off on the high school trends.

[Anonymous]

No, and frankly I’m not sure why crop tops are even allowed in schools, they’re very revealing and inappropriate (Most clothing nowadays is very tight and revealing). They weren’t allowed when I was in school, and they also weren’t allowed when my kids were in school.