7th grade DD wants crop tops for school

[Anonymous]

All of a sudden out of nowhere my DD is begging for new shirts that she sees a lot of girls wearing in middle school. Fitted crop tops, off the shoulder tops…I’m not comfortable with it. I’ve talked to her about it and I get tears and pouting. Not sure how to handle. Any advice?

[Anonymous]

Meh, I'd let her wear what she wants. Stomachs aren't private parts. FWIW I have two girls- one middle and one high schooler. They've worn them on and off. They are trying to figure out what they are comfortable in, and I don't think it's helpful to get overly involved in that.

[Anonymous]

Maybe compromise and give her some stipulations. For instance: no more than 2 inches midriff showing, must have short or long sleeves, no tank crops. Must fully cover bra.

[Anonymous]

When I was a teen and wanted clothes my mom disapproved of, she said if you want it earn the money and buy it because I’m not buying it for you. I feel like that was a good compromise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe compromise and give her some stipulations. For instance: no more than 2 inches midriff showing, must have short or long sleeves, no tank crops. Must fully cover bra.

I like this idea.

[Anonymous]

Can you go shopping together and find some compromise items? When she tries stuff on, have her do lots of "move around" tests - sometimes I've preempted questionable clothing just by having DD figure out it's not actually functional to wear!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of a sudden out of nowhere my DD is begging for new shirts that she sees a lot of girls wearing in middle school. Fitted crop tops, off the shoulder tops…I’m not comfortable with it. I’ve talked to her about it and I get tears and pouting. Not sure how to handle. Any advice?

Just her this top

[Anonymous]

I didn’t allow for school, at that age. My DD had a few she was allowed to wear outside of school.

That said, I loosened up once she reached high school. IMHO at some point you have to let the fashion/clothing choices go. I felt 7th grade was too young but I don’t think there is a “right” answer. It is a balance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh, I'd let her wear what she wants. Stomachs aren't private parts. FWIW I have two girls- one middle and one high schooler. They've worn them on and off. They are trying to figure out what they are comfortable in, and I don't think it's helpful to get overly involved in that.

Lax parenting... so trendy and yet so ineffective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t allow for school, at that age. My DD had a few she was allowed to wear outside of school.

That said, I loosened up once she reached high school. IMHO at some point you have to let the fashion/clothing choices go. I felt 7th grade was too young but I don’t think there is a “right” answer. It is a balance.

OP here. This exactly. I think by high school it would be ok but age 12 in 7th is too young.

[Anonymous]

Wait until high school. Age 12 is way too young.

[Anonymous]

I bought my daughter this age one top like this and she wears it once in a while. Not saying this is the right answer but the earth kept spinning.

[Anonymous]

doesn't the school have a dress code?

[Anonymous]

You accept tears and pouting. That's parenting. The tears would worry me though, that's ridiculous.

Your DD doesn't have enough serious going on.

[Anonymous]

I’m sure I’ll get crap for this, but I just straight up tell her no. In our house it is not appropriate for a 12 year old to wear crop tops to school. End of conversation. We’re British so maybe our standards for school attire are a bit different