pros and cons of a single room freshman year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

This is not correct.

Even a bad roommate teaches you something, if nothing else, how to negotiate your way out of a problem.

A single room as a freshman is a terrible idea. It's just a new version of the princess suite at home.

Most people will never have to share a bedroom with a stranger in their lives except for the first year of college. There are many ways to learn how to navigate conflicts and differences without having to sleep in the same room with a rando.

I completely agree with this! I actually think we lose sight of how bizarre it is to room with a stranger. As an adult, that would be my nightmare!

Fine for a kid who wants to. Not at all necessary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

This is not correct.

Even a bad roommate teaches you something, if nothing else, how to negotiate your way out of a problem.

A single room as a freshman is a terrible idea. It's just a new version of the princess suite at home.

Most people will never have to share a bedroom with a stranger in their lives except for the first year of college. There are many ways to learn how to navigate conflicts and differences without having to sleep in the same room with a rando.

I completely agree with this! I actually think we lose sight of how bizarre it is to room with a stranger. As an adult, that would be my nightmare!

Fine for a kid who wants to. Not at all necessary.

It's also not the norm for university students in many other countries. The idea that it is some sort of critical human experience is so silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

This is not correct.

Even a bad roommate teaches you something, if nothing else, how to negotiate your way out of a problem.

A single room as a freshman is a terrible idea. It's just a new version of the princess suite at home.

Most people will never have to share a bedroom with a stranger in their lives except for the first year of college. There are many ways to learn how to navigate conflicts and differences without having to sleep in the same room with a rando.

Fine for a kid who wants to. Not at all necessary.

Right. Your kid is special. I get it.

[Anonymous]

I went to school in London where all rooms are singles. the idea that you're placed with a stranger for a year .. blew my mind when I was younger

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

This is not correct.

Even a bad roommate teaches you something, if nothing else, how to negotiate your way out of a problem.

A single room as a freshman is a terrible idea. It's just a new version of the princess suite at home.

Most people will never have to share a bedroom with a stranger in their lives except for the first year of college. There are many ways to learn how to navigate conflicts and differences without having to sleep in the same room with a rando.

Fine for a kid who wants to. Not at all necessary.

Right. Your kid is special. I get it.

Your kid who needs to share a bedroom with a stranger is the special one.

[Anonymous]

A dorm common room / lobby is far more helpful than a roommate.

[Anonymous]

If they don't get use to living with another person the first year and compromising, it's harder later.

In favor of having a roommate. There are so many ways to "check-out" and get some privacy. Put in earbuds, walk down the hall and find a friend, hang-out in a common area of the dorm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

This is not correct.

Even a bad roommate teaches you something, if nothing else, how to negotiate your way out of a problem.

A single room as a freshman is a terrible idea. It's just a new version of the princess suite at home.

Most people will never have to share a bedroom with a stranger in their lives except for the first year of college. There are many ways to learn how to navigate conflicts and differences without having to sleep in the same room with a rando.

Fine for a kid who wants to. Not at all necessary.

Summer camps? Study abroad? Hostels?

[Anonymous]

I don't see the upside. Sharing a common space is important but not sharing an actual bedroom. If anything I've heard too many mediocre to very bad experiences, including from very easy going people matched with roommates who stay up all night, are dirty and inconsiderate in big ways...Too much of a gamble for a very private space that can have an impact on sleep and general experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just have a pro, and I know it's not usually the case, but meeting my roommate was one of the best things about my college experience. We bonded almost instantly, lived together all four years, and are still like family decades later.

My freshman roommate (in an honors dorm at a flagship) was depressed almost all of freshman year.

She endangered our safety by failing to lock our room door at night. 2 times, drunk men came into our room after we had gone to bed. One was lost (my RA's drunk boyfriend) and one was pranking. I didn't know either of them and the pranker wasn't even a student at my school.

She skipped classes and slept in late in the mornings which meant I often had to be quiet in the room between breakfast and lunch.

She was flunking classes, so was often angry and crying. In the evenings, she was often on the wired landline to her mom for hours.

Although she didn't really go after me, she wasn't very friendly. I assumed it wasn't easy for her to be living with a stranger who was at least functioning well in school.

By the time I asked for roommate switch possibilities, the only space was a room where the roommate left because the other roommate would bring people back to the room and have sex while she was sleeping in the same room. So I stayed for the full year.

Disappointment in the social life led me to transfer for sophomore year even though I had a 4.0.

I had a single for 2.5 years after that. It was fantastic. Nobody needs a jerk living in their bedroom.

This sounds like what my daughter went through. Not uncommon.
Single is better, safer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

This is not correct.

Even a bad roommate teaches you something, if nothing else, how to negotiate your way out of a problem.

A single room as a freshman is a terrible idea. It's just a new version of the princess suite at home.

Most people will never have to share a bedroom with a stranger in their lives except for the first year of college. There are many ways to learn how to navigate conflicts and differences without having to sleep in the same room with a rando.

Fine for a kid who wants to. Not at all necessary.

Right. Your kid is special. I get it.

What a weird, personal response that doesn’t actually engage with the substance of what I said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

A bad roommate can be much more bad than a good roommate can be good.

A good friend can be every bit as good as a good roommate. You can avoid one jerk on most campuses unless they are your roommate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If they don't get use to living with another person the first year and compromising, it's harder later.

In favor of having a roommate. There are so many ways to "check-out" and get some privacy. Put in earbuds, walk down the hall and find a friend, hang-out in a common area of the dorm.

+1000

I pity these kids’ partners/ spouses down the road. This is the epitome of spoiled privilege.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

A bad roommate can be much more bad than a good roommate can be good.

A good friend can be every bit as good as a good roommate. You can avoid one jerk on most campuses unless they are your roommate.

What exactly is your definition of a “bad” roommate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they don't get use to living with another person the first year and compromising, it's harder later.

In favor of having a roommate. There are so many ways to "check-out" and get some privacy. Put in earbuds, walk down the hall and find a friend, hang-out in a common area of the dorm.

+1000

I pity these kids’ partners/ spouses down the road. This is the epitome of spoiled privilege.

Yeah, how do all those Canadian and European people who were never forced to share a bedroom with a stranger manage to have healthy marriages?