pros and cons of a single room freshman year

[Anonymous]

DS going to a SLAC where most kids who want singles can have one.

We're talking about pros and cons. I think a great roommate is better than a single. And a bad roommate is worse than a single. So a single kind of protects the downside. OTOH, a bad roommate would force you out of your room. IMO the danger of a single is getting too comfortable being alone.

Any thoughts on this?

[Anonymous]

Other than the above, seems like some colleges literally put two beds into a room that’s really just a single.

My kid was given a single (didn’t request it or want it), but at least appreciated that it was the same size as all the doubles but with just one bed.

My kid was in a special program freshman year where the participants all lived in the same dorm, so it allowed for easy socializing, so the single wasn’t a big deal from that perspective.

[Anonymous]

A double is a huge plus in the beginning of the year.

[Anonymous]

It depends on how the floor is set up. If the floor is all freshman singles, kids will mingle. If single rooms are placed randomly, the student will have to make an effort to meet people. My DS went to an SLAC that only gave singles to upper classmen. My DS had a strong friend group at that point so the single room wasn’t isolating. Just my 2 cents.

[Anonymous]

Mine have had singles all through. It was a priority. They still made friends, had social lives, etc. but also had a safe place to retreat to for study and rest. One of mine tried a (random match) roommate for two months, it was a nightmare. Belongings stolen, destroyed, drugs, and finally- threats of violence.
There are a lot of wild cards out there, not worth the hassle.
Single room is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

My child was at a SLAC and was in a double with a roommate who moved out before school started freshman year.
I would not encourage this. For a variety of reasons, it was very isolating. It is easy to go back to room and not engage.
The room was at the end of the hall so effort was required to connect. My child struggled to connect with the spontaneous things that freshmen do.

[Anonymous]

Know your child. Some personalities can benefit from a single if they need to recharge from socializing. Some personalities would be drained in the calm of a single. Would you child withdraw into the single or use it wisely? This question is best answered by it, knowing what your kid needs rather than any hard and fast rules.

[Anonymous]

this is a great thing to dive into a little during an admitted students weekend. asking kids but also looking at the space if your kid can. a single with a common room right on the floor shared by 8 other singles - that can be great.

a single that shares a bathroom with 4 other singles? that builds some commmunity identity.

is the double the same size as a single but with two beds or is it much bigger?

do kids identify as a floor, an entry, a door, a wing .. ? do they do activities together, planned by an older kid?

all those things help. and there's a lot of good things about a single. but a single with a bathroom ensuite on a floor of doubles would be isolating imo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Know your child. Some personalities can benefit from a single if they need to recharge from socializing. Some personalities would be drained in the calm of a single. Would you child withdraw into the single or use it wisely? This question is best answered by it, knowing what your kid needs rather than any hard and fast rules.

This is good advice! It really depends upon your child's personality. Also, a roommate can encourage a quieter/shyer person to interact with people (roommate & roommate's friends) who are very different from them.

You can also check if the college has options for changing housing situation during the first semester if things arent' working out.

[Anonymous]

I think it also depends what kind of sleeper you are - if you are a heavy sleeper not likely to be disturbed by a roommate coming in and out who had a different schedule, then a double isn't as much of an issue. If you are a light sleeper than a single so that you can get some actual rest, can make more sense.

[Anonymous]

I just have a pro, and I know it's not usually the case, but meeting my roommate was one of the best things about my college experience. We bonded almost instantly, lived together all four years, and are still like family decades later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Know your child. Some personalities can benefit from a single if they need to recharge from socializing. Some personalities would be drained in the calm of a single. Would you child withdraw into the single or use it wisely? This question is best answered by it, knowing what your kid needs rather than any hard and fast rules.

Yup. This is the best advice.

OP, are you talking about Wesleyan? If so, my kid wanted and got a single first year and had zero regrets. They met friends immediately at orientation events, joined activities and met more friends, but they were able to get the solitude they needed for decompressing and sleeping. This is a very social kid who also needs space.

It would have been a disaster for me socially to have a single. But for this kid, it was the right move.

[Anonymous]

My freshman is in a double this year. And from what he says his floor isn't very social. Other floors are social. So, I would think a single on a non-social floor would be brutal. A single on a social floor would be fine.

An outgoing kid will have no problem with a single. Not sure if outgoing kids are the ones that want a single.

[Anonymous]

This is so situationally dependent and I agree with your assessment above.

DS went to boarding school and had a horrible first year roommate. Lived with one of his BFs the rest of the 3 years. Now attends a school where you get assigned roommates by a questionnaire. Couldn’t have gone better and they are all living together next year.

My random freshman year roommate is still one of my closest friends. I barely speak with my sorority sisters whom I lived with the three years after.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s more downside to a single freshman year. Roommate stuff has gone better than I would have expected for my introverted dc and been a big net positive. He found out about many activities and events only via his roommate.