Funeral Shock - Infidelity or Something Else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say 100% untrue-This man clearly just wanted to cause hurt and I imagine he does it on a regular basis. Some people are really miserable and evil and get joy out of causing other people pain.

Telling the husband at the funeral has no positive outcome. There would be no point if it were true, to tell at that point. For what? Clearly you aren’t running away together-the woman is dead. It just seems completely pointless and that’s why I think this is probably some sick game this man plays. It’s easy to find a record of what funerals are happening-death info. I bet he does this for sport.

I have heard of people showing up at funerals but it’s usually funerals for men and it’s the kid the spouse never knew he had (due to an affair). I actually saw this twice in my life personally and heard about it with others as well.

You allowed your mother to live in a lie. How noble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

It was told to the son and granddaughter of the deceased. We definitely didn't need or want to know! Grandma does not have AIDs for sure.

How do you know? Has anyone told her since that her husband might have had AIDS while they were still sleeping together?

Bless your heart. She probably hasn’t slept in the same room with him for 20 years

You must be very young and dumb if you think that old people can't possibly be having sex. She absolutely needed to know and needed to be tested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

Old people LIVE at the doctor’s. If she had full blown AIDS she’d have known

She could be HIV positive and have no idea. How uninformed are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my mom’s husband died, a number of flower bouquets showed up unsigned. The florist looked rather pained. She’d seen it before.

Turns out that he had been having several encounters with women over the years and a longer term relationship. The total was around 8 women that my mom was able to discover. There may have been more. She had no clue.

This isn’t to say that OP’s scenario is true. But it does happen.

Again proving that cheaters are mean, thoughtless, and dumb...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my mom’s husband died, a number of flower bouquets showed up unsigned. The florist looked rather pained. She’d seen it before.

Turns out that he had been having several encounters with women over the years and a longer term relationship. The total was around 8 women that my mom was able to discover. There may have been more. She had no clue.

This isn’t to say that OP’s scenario is true. But it does happen.

That doesn't mean anything. My aunt died in November and I sent an enormous casket spray without my name on it. I thought it would distract from the flowers. My close relatives know they were from me. People order flowers without putting their names on a card all the time. I've had several deaths in my family in recent years, and a lot of flowers show up without names. I sometimes know who sent them because my mother tells me it's from such and such a cousin.

Stop making creepy assumptions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

Old people LIVE at the doctor’s. If she had full blown AIDS she’d have known

She could be HIV positive and have no idea. How uninformed are you?

Life expectancy with HIV without treatment is about 10 years. Grandpa probably didn’t actually have AIDs and neither does Grandma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

Old people LIVE at the doctor’s. If she had full blown AIDS she’d have known

She could be HIV positive and have no idea. How uninformed are you?

Life expectancy with HIV without treatment is about 10 years. Grandpa probably didn’t actually have AIDs and neither does Grandma.

The fact that you think it's ok to withhold this kind of information is criminal, actually.

[Anonymous]

Some people lead a double life and never get caught or are so good at it, the spouse would never have a suspicion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like the beginning of a scam.

This.

[Anonymous]

This happened to a friend, though not at the funeral itself. After her father died, a woman wrote her a letter telling her how much her dad talked about her (my friend) and how she and the father had a close bond (i.e. an affair). Once she started digging through financials, emails, etc, she confirmed that her dad had been having several affairs and had been financially supporting all of them. Its been quite the emotional roller coaster for her and her mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

Old people LIVE at the doctor’s. If she had full blown AIDS she’d have known

She could be HIV positive and have no idea. How uninformed are you?

Life expectancy with HIV without treatment is about 10 years. Grandpa probably didn’t actually have AIDs and neither does Grandma.

The fact that you think it's ok to withhold this kind of information is criminal, actually.

Sorry, that was me, a dp. I’m not the original pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom’s husband died, a number of flower bouquets showed up unsigned. The florist looked rather pained. She’d seen it before.

Turns out that he had been having several encounters with women over the years and a longer term relationship. The total was around 8 women that my mom was able to discover. There may have been more. She had no clue.

This isn’t to say that OP’s scenario is true. But it does happen.

That doesn't mean anything. My aunt died in November and I sent an enormous casket spray without my name on it. I thought it would distract from the flowers. My close relatives know they were from me. People order flowers without putting their names on a card all the time. I've had several deaths in my family in recent years, and a lot of flowers show up without names. I sometimes know who sent them because my mother tells me it's from such and such a cousin.

Stop making creepy assumptions.

I’m the PP. That’s exactly what I told my mom - don’t make crazy assumptions.

Then the phone calls and texts started on his phone. Some of the women didn’t see the obituary and kept calling him. She talked back and forth with the main AP a couple of times. He was on a dating site and the main AP was able to tell her which one. The whole thing was unbelievable but alas, it was true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's a mentally ill person who probably stalks all the funerals of women of a certain age, and goes up to the surviving husband to say that.

No actual affair partner would do this, OP.

No male affair partner would do that.

Women though, I’d at least say limited plausibility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom’s husband died, a number of flower bouquets showed up unsigned. The florist looked rather pained. She’d seen it before.

Turns out that he had been having several encounters with women over the years and a longer term relationship. The total was around 8 women that my mom was able to discover. There may have been more. She had no clue.

This isn’t to say that OP’s scenario is true. But it does happen.

Again proving that cheaters are mean, thoughtless, and dumb...

The reading of our father's will included some kind of 'secret bequest' It said he leaves an unspecified amount of money and belongings to an unspecified individual that only the lawyer knows about. Do with that what you will. Luckily my mom has Alzheimers and was pretty much unaware of what was being said, but to this day neither I nor my siblings have any idea who the individual is, what the items and money are/were. Just the strangest thing. He and my mom did not have a happy marriage, but he was one of those Catholic never misses church dudes. Just weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my mom’s husband died, a number of flower bouquets showed up unsigned. The florist looked rather pained. She’d seen it before.

Turns out that he had been having several encounters with women over the years and a longer term relationship. The total was around 8 women that my mom was able to discover. There may have been more. She had no clue.

This isn’t to say that OP’s scenario is true. But it does happen.

Again proving that cheaters are mean, thoughtless, and dumb...

The reading of our father's will included some kind of 'secret bequest' It said he leaves an unspecified amount of money and belongings to an unspecified individual that only the lawyer knows about. Do with that what you will. Luckily my mom has Alzheimers and was pretty much unaware of what was being said, but to this day neither I nor my siblings have any idea who the individual is, what the items and money are/were. Just the strangest thing. He and my mom did not have a happy marriage, but he was one of those Catholic never misses church dudes. Just weird.

That should have been your first clue.