Funeral Shock - Infidelity or Something Else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of women showed up to a funeral for one of my male relatives claiming to be his wife and asking for death certificates. The answer is no if that’s what he is after.

That's a scam.

[Anonymous]

This man sounds mentally ill. If it is true, he’s at best an awful, self-absorbed person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

[Anonymous]

I'm a fraud prosecutor, for what it is worth.

I've never heard of a scam like this, but that doesn't mean it isn't a scam. My instinct is that it is either a scam or that the claimed AP is mentally ill.

I would want more information before reaching a more confident conclusion. Did the man ask for anything? Did he say anything about the decedent that would corroborate his account of being her AP, like describing certain personality traits or personal history? Does he have any evidence (photos, text messages) to corroborate his story? Is it possible they communicated via Facebook or some other channel that wouldn't be evident from looking at her phone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

It was told to the son and granddaughter of the deceased. We definitely didn't need or want to know! Grandma does not have AIDs for sure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

It was told to the son and granddaughter of the deceased. We definitely didn't need or want to know! Grandma does not have AIDs for sure.

How do you know? Has anyone told her since that her husband might have had AIDS while they were still sleeping together?

[Anonymous]

It takes a very special type of EVIL for someone to do what this man did at the funeral.

Whether or not he was telling the truth - - this person is very cold-hearted in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

This story reminds me of my dad. Several years ago, we were on vacation with the whole family and his cell phone was having issues, so I took a look. He wasn't very good with technology and I found a tab open to a secret email account where he regularly messaged a woman with whom he was having an affair. It started as physical, but she lived across the country and it evolved to an emotional affair once he wasn't able to travel. Or at least I assume that's the case. I would occasionally check his phone and find evidence of texts, calls, or emails -- he was ok at erasing evidence, but I could find it with some digging. I never said anything and I can count on one hand the amount of people I've told. He died recently and I wondered if she was going to show up. She didn't. I know who she is, I see her on Facebook. Really bizarre thing to know about your parent and be alone in it. But the truth felt more destructive to our family than an old man who texted and emailed another woman. Too late now.

[Anonymous]

I would say 100% untrue-This man clearly just wanted to cause hurt and I imagine he does it on a regular basis. Some people are really miserable and evil and get joy out of causing other people pain.

Telling the husband at the funeral has no positive outcome. There would be no point if it were true, to tell at that point. For what? Clearly you aren’t running away together-the woman is dead. It just seems completely pointless and that’s why I think this is probably some sick game this man plays. It’s easy to find a record of what funerals are happening-death info. I bet he does this for sport.

I have heard of people showing up at funerals but it’s usually funerals for men and it’s the kid the spouse never knew he had (due to an affair). I actually saw this twice in my life personally and heard about it with others as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of women showed up to a funeral for one of my male relatives claiming to be his wife and asking for death certificates. The answer is no if that’s what he is after.

That's a scam.

We knew. Figured they were trying to claim pension checks or something

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

Old people LIVE at the doctor’s. If she had full blown AIDS she’d have known

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He should have just kept his mouth shut. What a weird thing to say.

After my grandpa died, someone told us he had AIDs. It was kind of a bombshell and only my dad and I know. I'd never bring it up with my grandma. So many questions about how he'd get AIDs (he was married to grandma for 45 years) and whether it was true. Some things are best left unsaid.

You can't be serious? Better left unsaid if he actually had AIDs. No, dear, that's like the definition of what grandma needs to know, as it could kill her.

It was told to the son and granddaughter of the deceased. We definitely didn't need or want to know! Grandma does not have AIDs for sure.

How do you know? Has anyone told her since that her husband might have had AIDS while they were still sleeping together?

Bless your heart. She probably hasn’t slept in the same room with him for 20 years

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A bunch of women showed up to a funeral for one of my male relatives claiming to be his wife and asking for death certificates. The answer is no if that’s what he is after.

That's a scam.

We knew. Figured they were trying to claim pension checks or something

Open a credit card is more likely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This story reminds me of my dad. Several years ago, we were on vacation with the whole family and his cell phone was having issues, so I took a look. He wasn't very good with technology and I found a tab open to a secret email account where he regularly messaged a woman with whom he was having an affair. It started as physical, but she lived across the country and it evolved to an emotional affair once he wasn't able to travel. Or at least I assume that's the case. I would occasionally check his phone and find evidence of texts, calls, or emails -- he was ok at erasing evidence, but I could find it with some digging. I never said anything and I can count on one hand the amount of people I've told. He died recently and I wondered if she was going to show up. She didn't. I know who she is, I see her on Facebook. Really bizarre thing to know about your parent and be alone in it. But the truth felt more destructive to our family than an old man who texted and emailed another woman. Too late now.

That's awful, sorry you are the keeper of this secret.

[Anonymous]

When my mom’s husband died, a number of flower bouquets showed up unsigned. The florist looked rather pained. She’d seen it before.

Turns out that he had been having several encounters with women over the years and a longer term relationship. The total was around 8 women that my mom was able to discover. There may have been more. She had no clue.

This isn’t to say that OP’s scenario is true. But it does happen.