Help getting 2.5 year old to sleep

[Anonymous]

Blackout curtains. Complete blackout

[Anonymous]

How about establishing a regular night time routine?
Perhaps after dinner you can give her a warm bath, 🛁 then do a quiet/calm activity while her hair dries.

Perhaps a puzzle or an age-appropriate children’s game would be ideal…..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

Any time that you are willing to tell her that she needs to be in bed with you while you read to her. It just kind of sounds like she is in charge. You may need to practice being the parent. Then you read several books and she gets sleepy. You say I will stay until you fall asleep.

Help me out here. How does practicing being the parent get her to sleep?

I’ve explained before everything we have tried. I am very good at holding boundaries. “I will stay with you if you stay in bed.” “I will read more books if you stay in bed…” I cuddle or read and she gets up and leaves the bed. I immediately get up and leave. She stays awake for hours more playing or screaming.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m all for earlier bedtimes compared to most but if your kid is napping at daycare you need to plan on a later bedtime.

I’d aim for in bed at 8/815 lights out 830-845.
If she doesn’t nap on weekends then in bed at 645-7 lights out by 715.
At this point the habits she’s created of stalling on nap days are habits on no nap days too. You need to break the cycle.
Maybe put a small toy or piece of candy in sight in her room bur out of reach. Tell her if she doesn’t get up until morning she can have it. BUT set her up for success, not in bed at 730 when she’s had a 2 hour nap.

I don’t think’s ready for the delayed gratification reward. She’s not even motivated by things like sticker charts. She IS motivated by candy but that’s obviously not an option. 😂

We have been trying various bedtimes over the past three months. We adjust the routine and give it several days and see no difference. The routine is consistent. She has just now, at 10:30, set up her blanket on the floor and tucked herself in for bed.

Does the routine involve reading and winding down? It sounds like you aren't teaching her to lie down and relax slowly and are opting for her just running out of gas and lying down from exhaustion on her own. Bottom line is that you don't have to be a jerk to be in charge and teach them stuff. They literally don't know how to do things until you show them.

We have a solid wind down routine that includes low lighting, quiet music, and quiet voices. I lay in her bed to show her how to sleep. I tell her to close her eyes. I rock her to sleep. None of it works. She is always high energy and won’t sit/lay/cuddle/listen to books.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We feel like we’ve tried everything at this point. We cannot get our 2.5 year old to go to sleep. We start our bedtime routine at 7-7:30 everyday and if she’s asleep by 10 it’s a good day. She does nap at daycare but even when she doesn’t nap because she’s home she still won’t go to sleep. She says she wants to play.

Any ideas for getting her to wind down and go to bed?

Tell her it's Quiet Time for her.

[Anonymous]

OP what is her total sleep in a 24 hour period (nap pls hours at bedtime)and has she always had this issue of lower than expected sleep? Any change in diet or bowel? Any possibility of mouth breathing or snoring? Any issues with nursing or feeding as an infant?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We feel like we’ve tried everything at this point. We cannot get our 2.5 year old to go to sleep. We start our bedtime routine at 7-7:30 everyday and if she’s asleep by 10 it’s a good day. She does nap at daycare but even when she doesn’t nap because she’s home she still won’t go to sleep. She says she wants to play.

Any ideas for getting her to wind down and go to bed?

Tell her it's Quiet Time for her.

She will just play quietly for hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP what is her total sleep in a 24 hour period (nap pls hours at bedtime)and has she always had this issue of lower than expected sleep? Any change in diet or bowel? Any possibility of mouth breathing or snoring? Any issues with nursing or feeding as an infant?

She generally wakes up about 6:45/7 when we wake her. On weekends she may sleep in until 7:30, 8 if it was a very late night.

She does a solid two hour nap at daycare 1-3 pm. Teachers report she goes down easily and is the first one asleep.

So if she falls asleep by 10, she’s getting max of 11 hours a day: 2 + 9.

She was a great sleeper as a baby, slept through the night early on without any sleep training. Even when she transitioned to a regular bed it took a few returns to the bed but she would fall asleep fairly early. There have been no other family or lifestyle changes, diet, eating, bowel, routine. No snoring and I haven’t noticed any mouth breathing. She did have a tongue tie revision as a newborn but breastfed fine after that, though was mostly formula fed due to very low supply likely a result of previous breast surgery.

[Anonymous]

I wonder about staying up with her in the living/family room with low lights and calm activities (reading together, a mild craft/drawing), maybe a solid non-sugary snack and milk around 9pm, and then establish a shorter bedtime routine where she actually falls asleep at the end of it (which might mean starting the routine around 9:45 right now). Once that’s peaceful and normal, try moving it back a few minutes a night and see how early you can get it?

Sometimes in my experience acceptance helps me see a new way of incorporating peace. The hours of her screaming when you want her asleep sound like the challenge to me, not the total number of hours she’s sleeping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder about staying up with her in the living/family room with low lights and calm activities (reading together, a mild craft/drawing), maybe a solid non-sugary snack and milk around 9pm, and then establish a shorter bedtime routine where she actually falls asleep at the end of it (which might mean starting the routine around 9:45 right now). Once that’s peaceful and normal, try moving it back a few minutes a night and see how early you can get it?

Sometimes in my experience acceptance helps me see a new way of incorporating peace. The hours of her screaming when you want her asleep sound like the challenge to me, not the total number of hours she’s sleeping.

This sounds worth a try! Will try and report back!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

If I were in her bedroom, she would be in bed while I rubbed her back - after reading 2 books and singing one goodnight song. If she doesn't like rubs, then rub her forehead. But no talking, no nothing, no correcting, just giving her lots of wonderful backrubs. This should be positive not, I'm here because you are naughty and I'm going to catch you in the act. Nope, it's I'm helping you to fall asleep so you can have a great day tomorrow. That attitude shift on your part will make you less frantic to GET HER TO SLEEP NOW and set off her fight system Also, while sitting by her bed in a chair, I'd face sideways to her so you aren't looking at her (but of course you can see her out of the corner of your eye). Why?? Some kids, when you are facing them, simply MUST mess with you, they take it as a challenge, but if you aren't looking at them it seems less like a challenge and she's apt to settle better.

Then, I'd start a (long, going to take about 3 weeks!) procedure to withdraw her need to have you there. If you don't do this, she'll go back to running around, dumping stuff, etc.

1. once she is able to stay in bed and go to sleep with only 30 minutes of you rubbing her back (at the beginning it might take longer), then I'd sit right there but do backrubs until she is drowsy, then let her fall asleep with just your hand on her back but not rubbing. but you stay in her room until she is really asleep.
2. as soon as she can accomplish this, give yourself 2 days of doing it, then start sitting with your hand on her back but no rubbing until she is asleep
3. then give 2 days of this successfully then sit next to her bed with your hands in your lap.
4. then 2 days after she falls asleep this way, move the chair 1 ft away from bed, stay in room until she falls asleep
5. then 2 days after accomplishing that, move chair 2 or 3 more feet away, stay in room until asleep
6. 2 days after that, move chair to doorway of her room, stay in room until asleep
7. 2 days after can do this, move chair to halfway down hallway -
8 then you are FREE, FREE, FREE!

This will take time, but you've seen that if you just leave her to her own devices she will play and dump and TRY to get you back in the room. She might be overtired, she might not be, I have no idea. I mean, you could try putting her in bed at 6:3opm after dinner, but I bet that won't work.

Try this gradual removal of the need for you to be in her room. What you are doing isn't working, so try this, even though it means her getting used to you being in the room at the beginning, which I KNOW you don't want to do, but at this point....

Now, you cannot do this and be angry. Or constantly talking to her and reprimanding. So go in with a positive attitude "I'm getting to spend some lovely time with my little girl helping her to go to sleep" so YOU are giving off positive vibes (they feel that) and have NO TONE in your voice.

Take your kindle in, and once she is at the no touching her back phase, just read until she is asleep.

I'd pick 8pm while she's taking a nap still, - go up at 7:30pm, brush teeth with low lighting in the bathroom, wash face, change diaper/go potty, go into bedroom with low lighting and read books, then into bed by 8pm.

AND no tv and no computer or ipad or whatever before bed. Period. It keeps adults up, it will keep kids up. If you can, now that it's lighter at the end of the day, I'd take her to the playground and run her HARD before dinner. Have her be tired, have dinner, quiet play on 1st floor, upstairs at 7:30pm.

I KNOW this will take some time, and you will be tempted to rush through the steps, but if you do, she will start farting around (standing on her bed, jumping, getting out of bed, whatever) and you'll need to backup a step, Sigh. ALSO do not get caught at one of the steps for weeks - then she will learn that she NEEDS you to do one of those steps. The point is that she learns to do something but doesn't get hooked on that thing before you move to the next step, that's why you only do something 2 nights once she masters it. Might take 5 days for her to go to sleep easily once you change something (stop rubbing, or stop touching, or moving a chair a few feet) but once she can do it 2 days, move to the next step.

What, where and how to have older child go to bed? I don't have any good ideas. Your younger is on the bottom bunk and your older is on the top? Will your older wake her up if they climb onto top bunk after the little one is sleeping? If not, great!

If yes, could you split the bunk beds right now into 2 twins, spaced far apart? And then make them into bunks again in 6 months or so once she is a good faller-asleeper?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

If I were in her bedroom, she would be in bed while I rubbed her back - after reading 2 books and singing one goodnight song. If she doesn't like rubs, then rub her forehead. But no talking, no nothing, no correcting, just giving her lots of wonderful backrubs. This should be positive not, I'm here because you are naughty and I'm going to catch you in the act. Nope, it's I'm helping you to fall asleep so you can have a great day tomorrow. That attitude shift on your part will make you less frantic to GET HER TO SLEEP NOW and set off her fight system Also, while sitting by her bed in a chair, I'd face sideways to her so you aren't looking at her (but of course you can see her out of the corner of your eye). Why?? Some kids, when you are facing them, simply MUST mess with you, they take it as a challenge, but if you aren't looking at them it seems less like a challenge and she's apt to settle better.

Then, I'd start a (long, going to take about 3 weeks!) procedure to withdraw her need to have you there. If you don't do this, she'll go back to running around, dumping stuff, etc.

1. once she is able to stay in bed and go to sleep with only 30 minutes of you rubbing her back (at the beginning it might take longer), then I'd sit right there but do backrubs until she is drowsy, then let her fall asleep with just your hand on her back but not rubbing. but you stay in her room until she is really asleep.
2. as soon as she can accomplish this, give yourself 2 days of doing it, then start sitting with your hand on her back but no rubbing until she is asleep
3. then give 2 days of this successfully then sit next to her bed with your hands in your lap.
4. then 2 days after she falls asleep this way, move the chair 1 ft away from bed, stay in room until she falls asleep
5. then 2 days after accomplishing that, move chair 2 or 3 more feet away, stay in room until asleep
6. 2 days after that, move chair to doorway of her room, stay in room until asleep
7. 2 days after can do this, move chair to halfway down hallway -
8 then you are FREE, FREE, FREE!

This will take time, but you've seen that if you just leave her to her own devices she will play and dump and TRY to get you back in the room. She might be overtired, she might not be, I have no idea. I mean, you could try putting her in bed at 6:3opm after dinner, but I bet that won't work.

Try this gradual removal of the need for you to be in her room. What you are doing isn't working, so try this, even though it means her getting used to you being in the room at the beginning, which I KNOW you don't want to do, but at this point....

Now, you cannot do this and be angry. Or constantly talking to her and reprimanding. So go in with a positive attitude "I'm getting to spend some lovely time with my little girl helping her to go to sleep" so YOU are giving off positive vibes (they feel that) and have NO TONE in your voice.

Take your kindle in, and once she is at the no touching her back phase, just read until she is asleep.

I'd pick 8pm while she's taking a nap still, - go up at 7:30pm, brush teeth with low lighting in the bathroom, wash face, change diaper/go potty, go into bedroom with low lighting and read books, then into bed by 8pm.

AND no tv and no computer or ipad or whatever before bed. Period. It keeps adults up, it will keep kids up. If you can, now that it's lighter at the end of the day, I'd take her to the playground and run her HARD before dinner. Have her be tired, have dinner, quiet play on 1st floor, upstairs at 7:30pm.

I KNOW this will take some time, and you will be tempted to rush through the steps, but if you do, she will start farting around (standing on her bed, jumping, getting out of bed, whatever) and you'll need to backup a step, Sigh. ALSO do not get caught at one of the steps for weeks - then she will learn that she NEEDS you to do one of those steps. The point is that she learns to do something but doesn't get hooked on that thing before you move to the next step, that's why you only do something 2 nights once she masters it. Might take 5 days for her to go to sleep easily once you change something (stop rubbing, or stop touching, or moving a chair a few feet) but once she can do it 2 days, move to the next step.

What, where and how to have older child go to bed? I don't have any good ideas. Your younger is on the bottom bunk and your older is on the top? Will your older wake her up if they climb onto top bunk after the little one is sleeping? If not, great!

If yes, could you split the bunk beds right now into 2 twins, spaced far apart? And then make them into bunks again in 6 months or so once she is a good faller-asleeper?

We are not even at the point where she will sit in a rocker with us or lay in bed with us. Last night I was in her bed with her when she got up, walked out the door and went down to play with toys all before I could even get out of her bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

If I were in her bedroom, she would be in bed while I rubbed her back - after reading 2 books and singing one goodnight song. If she doesn't like rubs, then rub her forehead. But no talking, no nothing, no correcting, just giving her lots of wonderful backrubs. This should be positive not, I'm here because you are naughty and I'm going to catch you in the act. Nope, it's I'm helping you to fall asleep so you can have a great day tomorrow. That attitude shift on your part will make you less frantic to GET HER TO SLEEP NOW and set off her fight system Also, while sitting by her bed in a chair, I'd face sideways to her so you aren't looking at her (but of course you can see her out of the corner of your eye). Why?? Some kids, when you are facing them, simply MUST mess with you, they take it as a challenge, but if you aren't looking at them it seems less like a challenge and she's apt to settle better.

Then, I'd start a (long, going to take about 3 weeks!) procedure to withdraw her need to have you there. If you don't do this, she'll go back to running around, dumping stuff, etc.

1. once she is able to stay in bed and go to sleep with only 30 minutes of you rubbing her back (at the beginning it might take longer), then I'd sit right there but do backrubs until she is drowsy, then let her fall asleep with just your hand on her back but not rubbing. but you stay in her room until she is really asleep.
2. as soon as she can accomplish this, give yourself 2 days of doing it, then start sitting with your hand on her back but no rubbing until she is asleep
3. then give 2 days of this successfully then sit next to her bed with your hands in your lap.
4. then 2 days after she falls asleep this way, move the chair 1 ft away from bed, stay in room until she falls asleep
5. then 2 days after accomplishing that, move chair 2 or 3 more feet away, stay in room until asleep
6. 2 days after that, move chair to doorway of her room, stay in room until asleep
7. 2 days after can do this, move chair to halfway down hallway -
8 then you are FREE, FREE, FREE!

This will take time, but you've seen that if you just leave her to her own devices she will play and dump and TRY to get you back in the room. She might be overtired, she might not be, I have no idea. I mean, you could try putting her in bed at 6:3opm after dinner, but I bet that won't work.

Try this gradual removal of the need for you to be in her room. What you are doing isn't working, so try this, even though it means her getting used to you being in the room at the beginning, which I KNOW you don't want to do, but at this point....

Now, you cannot do this and be angry. Or constantly talking to her and reprimanding. So go in with a positive attitude "I'm getting to spend some lovely time with my little girl helping her to go to sleep" so YOU are giving off positive vibes (they feel that) and have NO TONE in your voice.

Take your kindle in, and once she is at the no touching her back phase, just read until she is asleep.

I'd pick 8pm while she's taking a nap still, - go up at 7:30pm, brush teeth with low lighting in the bathroom, wash face, change diaper/go potty, go into bedroom with low lighting and read books, then into bed by 8pm.

AND no tv and no computer or ipad or whatever before bed. Period. It keeps adults up, it will keep kids up. If you can, now that it's lighter at the end of the day, I'd take her to the playground and run her HARD before dinner. Have her be tired, have dinner, quiet play on 1st floor, upstairs at 7:30pm.

I KNOW this will take some time, and you will be tempted to rush through the steps, but if you do, she will start farting around (standing on her bed, jumping, getting out of bed, whatever) and you'll need to backup a step, Sigh. ALSO do not get caught at one of the steps for weeks - then she will learn that she NEEDS you to do one of those steps. The point is that she learns to do something but doesn't get hooked on that thing before you move to the next step, that's why you only do something 2 nights once she masters it. Might take 5 days for her to go to sleep easily once you change something (stop rubbing, or stop touching, or moving a chair a few feet) but once she can do it 2 days, move to the next step.

What, where and how to have older child go to bed? I don't have any good ideas. Your younger is on the bottom bunk and your older is on the top? Will your older wake her up if they climb onto top bunk after the little one is sleeping? If not, great!

If yes, could you split the bunk beds right now into 2 twins, spaced far apart? And then make them into bunks again in 6 months or so once she is a good faller-asleeper?

We are not even at the point where she will sit in a rocker with us or lay in bed with us. Last night I was in her bed with her when she got up, walked out the door and went down to play with toys all before I could even get out of her bed.

She sounds extreme. You have an older child that sleeps fine, so, it can't be totally your fault. You may need to remove all her stuff. I personally would not let her be destructive. She can earn them back with a behavior chart (if you think she is old enough, I feel like she probably isn't quite there). I would ask the doctor if there is anything to check into developmentally or medically (they are pretty useless with this stuff, but maybe they will come up with something).

She may be low sleep needs (my kid was) and the nap is messing with her sleep. In a perfect world you would be home with her (or a nanny), and she wouldn't nap then be put down to bed very early. Most of us don't have this luxury. It is okay if you just have to figure out a way to make do (that is what most folks with extreme sleepers do). She won't be in this stage forever. When she is older you can start with behavior charts, the alarm clocks that give sleep and wake up cues, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

If I were in her bedroom, she would be in bed while I rubbed her back - after reading 2 books and singing one goodnight song. If she doesn't like rubs, then rub her forehead. But no talking, no nothing, no correcting, just giving her lots of wonderful backrubs. This should be positive not, I'm here because you are naughty and I'm going to catch you in the act. Nope, it's I'm helping you to fall asleep so you can have a great day tomorrow. That attitude shift on your part will make you less frantic to GET HER TO SLEEP NOW and set off her fight system Also, while sitting by her bed in a chair, I'd face sideways to her so you aren't looking at her (but of course you can see her out of the corner of your eye). Why?? Some kids, when you are facing them, simply MUST mess with you, they take it as a challenge, but if you aren't looking at them it seems less like a challenge and she's apt to settle better.

Then, I'd start a (long, going to take about 3 weeks!) procedure to withdraw her need to have you there. If you don't do this, she'll go back to running around, dumping stuff, etc.

1. once she is able to stay in bed and go to sleep with only 30 minutes of you rubbing her back (at the beginning it might take longer), then I'd sit right there but do backrubs until she is drowsy, then let her fall asleep with just your hand on her back but not rubbing. but you stay in her room until she is really asleep.
2. as soon as she can accomplish this, give yourself 2 days of doing it, then start sitting with your hand on her back but no rubbing until she is asleep
3. then give 2 days of this successfully then sit next to her bed with your hands in your lap.
4. then 2 days after she falls asleep this way, move the chair 1 ft away from bed, stay in room until she falls asleep
5. then 2 days after accomplishing that, move chair 2 or 3 more feet away, stay in room until asleep
6. 2 days after that, move chair to doorway of her room, stay in room until asleep
7. 2 days after can do this, move chair to halfway down hallway -
8 then you are FREE, FREE, FREE!

This will take time, but you've seen that if you just leave her to her own devices she will play and dump and TRY to get you back in the room. She might be overtired, she might not be, I have no idea. I mean, you could try putting her in bed at 6:3opm after dinner, but I bet that won't work.

Try this gradual removal of the need for you to be in her room. What you are doing isn't working, so try this, even though it means her getting used to you being in the room at the beginning, which I KNOW you don't want to do, but at this point....

Now, you cannot do this and be angry. Or constantly talking to her and reprimanding. So go in with a positive attitude "I'm getting to spend some lovely time with my little girl helping her to go to sleep" so YOU are giving off positive vibes (they feel that) and have NO TONE in your voice.

Take your kindle in, and once she is at the no touching her back phase, just read until she is asleep.

I'd pick 8pm while she's taking a nap still, - go up at 7:30pm, brush teeth with low lighting in the bathroom, wash face, change diaper/go potty, go into bedroom with low lighting and read books, then into bed by 8pm.

AND no tv and no computer or ipad or whatever before bed. Period. It keeps adults up, it will keep kids up. If you can, now that it's lighter at the end of the day, I'd take her to the playground and run her HARD before dinner. Have her be tired, have dinner, quiet play on 1st floor, upstairs at 7:30pm.

I KNOW this will take some time, and you will be tempted to rush through the steps, but if you do, she will start farting around (standing on her bed, jumping, getting out of bed, whatever) and you'll need to backup a step, Sigh. ALSO do not get caught at one of the steps for weeks - then she will learn that she NEEDS you to do one of those steps. The point is that she learns to do something but doesn't get hooked on that thing before you move to the next step, that's why you only do something 2 nights once she masters it. Might take 5 days for her to go to sleep easily once you change something (stop rubbing, or stop touching, or moving a chair a few feet) but once she can do it 2 days, move to the next step.

What, where and how to have older child go to bed? I don't have any good ideas. Your younger is on the bottom bunk and your older is on the top? Will your older wake her up if they climb onto top bunk after the little one is sleeping? If not, great!

If yes, could you split the bunk beds right now into 2 twins, spaced far apart? And then make them into bunks again in 6 months or so once she is a good faller-asleeper?

We are not even at the point where she will sit in a rocker with us or lay in bed with us. Last night I was in her bed with her when she got up, walked out the door and went down to play with toys all before I could even get out of her bed.

She sounds extreme. You have an older child that sleeps fine, so, it can't be totally your fault. You may need to remove all her stuff. I personally would not let her be destructive. She can earn them back with a behavior chart (if you think she is old enough, I feel like she probably isn't quite there). I would ask the doctor if there is anything to check into developmentally or medically (they are pretty useless with this stuff, but maybe they will come up with something).

She may be low sleep needs (my kid was) and the nap is messing with her sleep. In a perfect world you would be home with her (or a nanny), and she wouldn't nap then be put down to bed very early. Most of us don't have this luxury. It is okay if you just have to figure out a way to make do (that is what most folks with extreme sleepers do). She won't be in this stage forever. When she is older you can start with behavior charts, the alarm clocks that give sleep and wake up cues, etc.

Our oldest will say goodnight, get tucked in, and if left alone by little sister, will fall asleep fine. He did go through a phase where he would only sleep in our bed which was around the same age my daughter is in now. But he would immediately go to sleep in our bed. My daughter will not. Even middle of the night if she wakes up and I try to bring her in our bed she will start climbing and will jaw to go back to her room.

I suspect like you say this is just the phase to get through, which of course doesn’t make it any easier, but means it’s not forever. I’m also a night owl so not surprised she is too. I really just hoped for ideas we hadn’t tried or thoughts on things that could be causing it. She sees the pediatrician in about two weeks and we’ll check in on it then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

Any time that you are willing to tell her that she needs to be in bed with you while you read to her. It just kind of sounds like she is in charge. You may need to practice being the parent. Then you read several books and she gets sleepy. You say I will stay until you fall asleep.

Help me out here. How does practicing being the parent get her to sleep?

I’ve explained before everything we have tried. I am very good at holding boundaries. “I will stay with you if you stay in bed.” “I will read more books if you stay in bed…” I cuddle or read and she gets up and leaves the bed. I immediately get up and leave. She stays awake for hours more playing or screaming.

Sounds like she is the boss. Does she run the household more generally or just bedtime? Do you negotiate everything (I will do this if you do that?). You might need to reframe a little if she is literally screaming at night for hours. Sounds like she's allowed to do whatever she wants...You might need to switch to statements like "it's time for bed" and have her start understanding that you set the schedule and expect certain behavior. Is she allowed to just scream in public if she wants to, etc?