Help getting 2.5 year old to sleep

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

Any time that you are willing to tell her that she needs to be in bed with you while you read to her. It just kind of sounds like she is in charge. You may need to practice being the parent. Then you read several books and she gets sleepy. You say I will stay until you fall asleep.

Help me out here. How does practicing being the parent get her to sleep?

I’ve explained before everything we have tried. I am very good at holding boundaries. “I will stay with you if you stay in bed.” “I will read more books if you stay in bed…” I cuddle or read and she gets up and leaves the bed. I immediately get up and leave. She stays awake for hours more playing or screaming.

Sounds like she is the boss. Does she run the household more generally or just bedtime? Do you negotiate everything (I will do this if you do that?). You might need to reframe a little if she is literally screaming at night for hours. Sounds like she's allowed to do whatever she wants...You might need to switch to statements like "it's time for bed" and have her start understanding that you set the schedule and expect certain behavior. Is she allowed to just scream in public if she wants to, etc?

We don’t negotiate much of anything. It seems most people here have magical children that when you say “go to bed” just wonderfully lay in bed and fall asleep.

We don’t use physical violence or restraints. So I’m not sure how everyone expects us to keep a 2.5 year old in bed who has free will to get out of bed.

Today I sat and cuddled with her like normal. After five minutes she got up and started walking around. I said it’s time for bed, picked her up, put her in bed, and walked out the door. She is now laying on the floor sticking her fingers under the door calling momma and dada. What, exactly, should I do in this situation? I’ve tried the going in and silently returning her to bed. We’ve tried ignoring her. Either way the process continues until at least 10.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what is her total sleep in a 24 hour period (nap pls hours at bedtime)and has she always had this issue of lower than expected sleep? Any change in diet or bowel? Any possibility of mouth breathing or snoring? Any issues with nursing or feeding as an infant?

She generally wakes up about 6:45/7 when we wake her. On weekends she may sleep in until 7:30, 8 if it was a very late night.

She does a solid two hour nap at daycare 1-3 pm. Teachers report she goes down easily and is the first one asleep.

So if she falls asleep by 10, she’s getting max of 11 hours a day: 2 + 9.

She was a great sleeper as a baby, slept through the night early on without any sleep training. Even when she transitioned to a regular bed it took a few returns to the bed but she would fall asleep fairly early. There have been no other family or lifestyle changes, diet, eating, bowel, routine. No snoring and I haven’t noticed any mouth breathing. She did have a tongue tie revision as a newborn but breastfed fine after that, though was mostly formula fed due to very low supply likely a result of previous breast surgery.

If shes getting 11 hours total then shes getting enough sleep. I know thats not what you want to hear but until the nap is dropped then youll have a 930/10 bedtime. 11-14 is the average for 2.5 years old.
I went through this with my son and will likely go through it with my daughter. Once he dropped the nap he slept 11 hours total. With a nap he was sleeping maybe 10-10.5.

I would try a late bedtime and then work it back. Dont do the 730-8pm and wait 2 hours BS. Youll just get angry.
Also, limit any overhead lighting after sunset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I would be wound up too if I were getting locked in a room for two hours before I was ready to sleep. Start routine more like 8:30 and read to her and tell her you will stay until she goes to sleep. Then start working away from that once she is able to do bath, books, settle down with you there.

Locking her in a room while she pulls the drawers out of the dresser is not helping with her sleepiness. You are probably giving her anxiety and making her stay up even later.

We have tried every bedtime imaginable. Even when we start at 8:30, stay with her, offer cuddles, etc. she is still pulling drawers at 11:30.

Since 8:30 also doesn’t work, what time do you suggest we start? What do you suggest if we stay in her room but she is not in bed, not trying to go to bed, climbing on us, and is just playing and pulling drawers?

Any time that you are willing to tell her that she needs to be in bed with you while you read to her. It just kind of sounds like she is in charge. You may need to practice being the parent. Then you read several books and she gets sleepy. You say I will stay until you fall asleep.

Help me out here. How does practicing being the parent get her to sleep?

I’ve explained before everything we have tried. I am very good at holding boundaries. “I will stay with you if you stay in bed.” “I will read more books if you stay in bed…” I cuddle or read and she gets up and leaves the bed. I immediately get up and leave. She stays awake for hours more playing or screaming.

Sounds like she is the boss. Does she run the household more generally or just bedtime? Do you negotiate everything (I will do this if you do that?). You might need to reframe a little if she is literally screaming at night for hours. Sounds like she's allowed to do whatever she wants...You might need to switch to statements like "it's time for bed" and have her start understanding that you set the schedule and expect certain behavior. Is she allowed to just scream in public if she wants to, etc?

We don’t negotiate much of anything. It seems most people here have magical children that when you say “go to bed” just wonderfully lay in bed and fall asleep.

We don’t use physical violence or restraints. So I’m not sure how everyone expects us to keep a 2.5 year old in bed who has free will to get out of bed.

Today I sat and cuddled with her like normal. After five minutes she got up and started walking around. I said it’s time for bed, picked her up, put her in bed, and walked out the door. She is now laying on the floor sticking her fingers under the door calling momma and dada. What, exactly, should I do in this situation? I’ve tried the going in and silently returning her to bed. We’ve tried ignoring her. Either way the process continues until at least 10.

Because she napped and she’s not tired. You were told this already. You have unrealistic expectations.